Discover and read the best of Twitter Threads about #storytime

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I wanted to share another fitness stories. #StoryTime

Last year when I climbed the Grouse Mountain, I used an app called All Trails to track the hike up, record the elevation gains, my pace up the mountain and how much energy I was expending to do the hike. #Thread 1/n
After using the app that one-time last year, I didn't think much of it. This was back in August. And as the year went by, I continued to make immense gains with my fitness. I was for the most part walking and taking public transport, so my commutes even involve a workouts.
By end of last year, I started thinking about quantifying my walking as I went about my day. I quickly remembered that app, from when I did the Grouse Grind (that's the proper name for the hike up the mountain).
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐎𝐧𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞 𝐁𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐈'𝐦 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐤𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐟𝐨𝐫

October 2019, I had just moved to Lekki Phase 1 from Iba.

First time staying on my own in Lagos and I really needed a fridge because buying food daily was expensive & I don't like cooking everyday.

I was in Ebeano Phase 1 with a friend and while at the check out line, I saw a line up of brand new mini refrigerators and the price then was N70k ish.

I started to think..

"I can afford this fridge. All I need is 2 extra Social Media Management clients"
Someone close to me laughted.

I didn't know I was thinking aloud.

In that moment, 2016 flashed before my eyes.

You see, 2016 was the worst year of my life.
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I’m, as a parent, trying to do the next right thing. So I stepped into the unknown - my teens room, to clean it up today. I’ve tried before telling her that love is an open door, but she could never fully do that with all the crap in her room. 1/many... #QuarantineLife #teens
It’s a bit of a fixer upper, that’s for sure. I’ve let it go for long enough. She said she’d do it in summer, but I really never believed her. Once I started cleaning there were things there that had missing for months. 2/many... #QuarantineLife #cleanroom #teens
I thought to myself that all is found, and as I was pleased, I continued on. I know when all is said & done, it could end up looking the same, because some things never change. But if I sense it is returning to its former wretched state, I’ll tell her to show yourself. 3/many..
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I'm curled up in a window-seat at #Toksvigs, with a big mug of tea and some freshly-baked croissants. Anyone for #Storytime?
There is a story the bees used to tell, which makes it hard to disbelieve. #Storytime
There once was a man who had never felt love. While other young men sighed over broken hearts, he sat aloof and indifferent. #Storytime
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#storytime it’s #BlackHistoryMonth and I want to tell you all a little HIStory about my son. He is 14.5 years old and has an internship at Google. He is diagnosed with ADHD at 6 and has an IEP. I am going to tell you about systemic racism 1st hand.
At @SuccessCharters he went to their whitest location at the time (and still maybe) Upper West. He went there from 2011-2014. It was ran by predominantly white staff that probably considered themselves liberal and not racist. He was denied all his mandated services.
Instead of helping my son they suspended him. I know you’re probably thinking what does this have to do with #BlackHistory Well one day someone is going to do some research and my child is going to come up. Because he left this “school” 6 years ago & people still reach out to us
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Hoy quiero haceros un #storyTime de las veces que he sido ignorada y apartada en mi ex-trabajo por ser mujer 🙎‍♀️, de las reacciones de los demás y de sus contestaciones a mis quejas. No habrá odio, sangre ni desgracia, pero sí una pequeña dosis de realidad. Allé voy 👇
Para empezar, decir que me metieron en un proyecto con un compañero. Él y yo seríamos los encargados de crear una plataforma de gestión inteligente junto a un jefe de equipo (que por cierto no hablaba Español salvo "café" y "gracias", siempre en mi corazón).
A los meses, salió la primera demo de la plataforma. El jefe de equipo me pidió que redactase la documentación de las tecnologías de la plataforma, de cómo se instalaban, usaban y para qué servían, destinada a servir como guía a los futuros nuevos integrantes del equipo.
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“What does a surgeon look like?”

A story for all ages, written by @JJcolemanMD , illustrated by @gracie_leo

#ilooklikeasurgeon #womeninmedicine #medtwitter #meded #foamed #storytime
Story thread below...
She woke up one morning and asked the Mirror, “What does a surgeon look like?”

But the Mirror did not answer.

She asked the World and asked “What does a surgeon look like?”

And the World did answer.
The World said,

“He is TALL and NOT small.”
“He is not too young or too old.”
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Yagyavalkya was a great maharshi who has had God-realisation (called Jeevan muktas). He was living at the outskirts of Mithila whose king was Janaka highly spiritually oriented ruler.

Yagyavalkya was daily conducting satsang classes on Vedanta philosophy in the evening which was attended by a number of monks as also king Janaka. If Janaka were to be delayed due to urgent matters of State, the Satsang would not begin till Janaka came.

Other monks used to pass derogatory remarks – ‘‘Look at Yagyavalkya the great knower of Brahman. Even he wants to please the king as he provides him with all provisions and bears all the expenditure in connection with the maintenance of the Ashram.’’

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Hace tiempo que no comparto un momento #storytime y me ha venido a la mente cuando fracasé terriblemente y perdí muchísimo dinero apuntándome a clases de coreano en Yonsei durante un verano. ¿Os cuento?
La cosa es que un verano cuando estaba viviendo en Corea decidí que ya que tenía el visado y el alquiler tenía que pagarlo igual, en vez de irme a España en verano me quedaría haciendo un intensivo de coreano para mejorar.
Tenía pensada otras universidades a decir verdad, pero después de hablar con amigos me dijeron que Yonsei era la más a tope y la que metía más caña con el coreano escrito y más académico, y más gramática, que era lo que yo quería porque con el coreano hablado me defendía.
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There is a story the bees used to tell, which makes it hard to disbelieve. #Storytime
A flock of sheep who had left their farm had chosen a wolf as their leader. #Storytime
Two years later, some of the sheep were starting to regret their choice, as the lead wolf brought in more and more of his friends, all of them hungry and not at all averse to the odd haunch of mutton. #Storytime
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‼️STORYTIME‼️ The time I got some 🍆💦 at a family reunion ‘ #threads #storytime #freakythreads #nastythreads #storytimefreaky #freakymoods #moodz
Lmao let’s start this off with u know whooo, coconut 🥥 lmao anyways before the actual reunion he hit me up talking about some he want me to meet his family and stuff I’m down so I say yes🥳..
So fast forward the day here, I’m getting all cute u know a lil bath before , I put on a jean skirt with a 90’s vibe shirt and some shoes showing my toes 💁🏽‍♀️!
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‼️STORYTIME‼️ How I skipped practice for some 🍆💦💦’ #storytime
#freakythreads #threadsfreaky #nastystory #freakystorytime #freakymoods #nastythreads #freaky
Ok so Ik I ain’t been posting but ain’t nun been happenin..😭 I’m back I gotta couple for y’all to !
Let’s start this off with the weeks before , so before all this happend I’ve been crushing on this nigga a while I’m not the type to tell u I like u just catch the hints💁🏽‍♀️.. anyways
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THE TIME I FUCKED MY BROTHERS BESTFREIND💦🍆! #storytime #storythreads #threads #freakythreads
So let’s start off with this being my first story time so might be a little yunno😬! Anyways brother bestfreind = LJ
Ok so me and my brother was over my auntie house we stayed for a weekend because my mom and dad went for a lil trip or w.e🤷🏽‍♀️
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#storytimethreads #threadstorytime #thread #storytime #dirtythreads #stories #storyboard #FreakyStoryTime #Freak
So basically my bestfriend we gon call her L 😭so yea🥵 so me and L was bored and ig her uncle was throwing some big party 🤭and L asked me if i wanted to go so at first i was like no cause her fine ass cousin was gon be there 🙈 and when i tell you he was fine that nigga was cut
So lemme describes him real quick he 6’0 👀 Puerto Rican/Black 🥵curly hair and plays basketball 🤤 and we gon call him Q so Q fine as hell so i was scared 💀 cause i always liked him but mama ain’t raise no bitch so i was like aight bet L I’ll go with you so i asked her what tim
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It’s #Monday, I’m boozing it up at a 4 seat bar, the #barkeep is a long pourer, and I’m all fucking set if I get something stuck between my teeth.👇🙃 #RandomThoughts #drinking #OutAndAbout
Shooting the shit with a friend, she’s proud to be doing well with her plants - unusual for her.

The key was a #video explaining the benefits of pruning.

She needs REASONS. She got them.

Apparently, pruning in a particular manner stimulates growth hormones.
Of course, this led to me initiating a discussion about the #movie I just watched on Hulu, called “The German Doctor.”

The main character was Josef Mengele. #ThisHappened

People, this is why I’m known in my circles as “The Black Hole Of Conversation.” SMTH
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I’ll tell that other story time later THIS one is more better and friskier 😈😈🤫.....#Threads #storytimethreads #storytimes #STORYTIME: Fingered in tha mfin Uber 🤣
So me and my nigga Quay🤪 (Yes from the Otha storytime) was finna go on a luh double date or whateva so..yk I had to luck cute for my nigga..with his fine ass💗 I had on dick appointment pants and this cute ass shirt I looked like a mfin.... 🥴
So we playin around on the way..touchin each other and yk that cute shit☺️he kept lookin at me knowin damn WELL he still make me AND my pussy nervous af😩 so I had a plan for daddyyyy🤪
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Story time A THREAD: THE TIME MY BF AND I GOT SUPER FREAKY💦💦#Threads #threadstorytime #freak #storytime #stories
This the boy from my last story’s😭 so he Carmel wit waves☺️ but he not the cutest in the bunch🤷🏽‍♀️ be he taller than me ANYWAYS TJ and I had broken up for a few months and he got another gf🙄 so they broke up and I was like
So he texting me on snap telling me why they broke up and that he should have never broke up with me😂 so we talkin for like a two months now and so he asked me out🤪 I said yes then we texting freaking🙂 mind you we live in the same neighborhood so😋 but we outside and we sneak
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The 24 hour (alternate reality) of a court hearing. 

Tomorrow I'll wake up and step into the bubble of adrenalin that will carry me through court date #52. 

First a quick scan of my phone to confirm all is going ahead as scheduled. 
During the day, discussions with NIcole & Elly to arrange what time they will arrive at mine, to be together like we are every court date. 
(I've got the best couch in the family) 
Israel wakes and the calls from reporters will begin at 3pm. 
I'll confirm with those who contact us - we are not in Israel now, we hope to be soon, we're available over Skype for interviews. 

I'll try to ignore my phone btw 4 - 5pm & spend time with my daughter before worry & adrenalin fully kick in.
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I feel like making you all laugh today so here is a #storytime of the first and only time I had surgery, two years ago. Yeah it’s about surgery but I PROMISE you’re gonna laugh bc this was truly a series of unfortunate events.
First, time for a little bit of backstory. I am a cheerleader. I base. Which means I literally lift humans up in the air. This makes me very prone to injury obviously and I have countless videos of me getting hit in the face by someone’s feet. But that one time was different.
It was a regular Friday night practice and things were going well. I had my flyer’s foot in my hands and we were about to do a tick tock which means she was supposed to switch legs.
I bent my fingers a tiny bit and she landed straight on my finger, forcing it bent unnaturally.
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Cette photo date de 1901. Personne n'y a cru en la voyant. Qui aurait posé comme ça en 1900 ? QUI ?

Sauf qu’elle est authentique.

#storytime ⬇️
Il faut dire que sur toutes les représentations des photos que nous avons de l’époque, le sourire est effectivement plutôt rare. Et il y a plusieurs explications à ça Michel.
Certains avancent l’argument de l’hygiène dentaire.
Bon c'est vrai qu'à l'époque, on avait plutôt tendance à avoir les chicots de Jacquouille et l’haleine pas très Ricola. Du coup, on se gardait bien de faire risette à l’objectif.
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Did my children greet me w Good Morning today?

Oh, no, their first words to me was a demand that I settle their argument.

The heated debate?

11yo daughtr: MOMMA! Would you tell him that if a woman gets sperm from a sperm bank, the man that gave the sperm is NOT the father?!!?!

All I was doing was trying to pee.

The 9yo son: *EYE* SAY he is the father! Of course there isn't love and he doesn't know the baby, but he gave the sperm, HIS sperm was used to make that life, so he IS THE FATHER!

The 11yo follows this up with, "WHAT??!? HAVE YOU READ THAT IN A JOURNAL SOMEWHERE?!"

Sis said,

(Low key, if you follow me u already know my nerd spirit rose like the phoenix in that moment;couldn't be more proud. LOL #ChipOffTheBrilliantBlock😭)
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STORYTIME!!: how I lost my virginity and regretted it. 🙄 #StoryTime #Thread #threadstorytime #threadstorytimes #threadstories #storytelling
Soooo I lost my virginity to my off&on ex G (refer to my other storytime.) this was in August & it happened multiple times.. the first was August 10th.🙄 first of all I was scared & i was mad because i went straight to his damn house after they stank ass football practice.
So we went to his house we was kissin or whatever in his room while his brother was in the front & he started fingering me & sucking my titties & shit. After awhile he was like are you ready im like hell nah, i was hella scared and not ready.
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தக்கோலம் போர்க்களத்தில் மார்பில் அம்பு பாய்ந்த இராஜாதித்தர் #Ponniyinselvan #thread #storytime
குடந்தை அரசலாற்றில் வெள்ளம் பெருகி வடகரை உடைந்தது.ஜோதிடர் வீடு இடிந்து கூரை தண்ணீரில் மிதந்தது.வானதி அதை கெட்டியாக பிடித்துக் கொண்டு தானும் மிதந்தாள் #Ponniyinselvan #thread #storytime
வந்தியதேவன் ராக்ஸ் 💪 #Ponniyinselvan #thread #storytime
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Some days, I’m amazed by my own charm and grace.

Thursday was not one of those days.

First of all, I was so distracted thinking about the sandwich I was about to go pick up that I literally walked into the wall while passing by the CEO’s office. Like, BAM.

She looked up. #ofcourse
I smiled awkwardly and then ran out the door. In the lobby, the security guy said, “Hope you brought your umbrella.” ☔️

Thinking he was quipping about the overcast weather - geez dude, it’s only sprinkling - the sandwich shop’s across the street, I chuckle and head out
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