Thread by @ABCsofADHD

There's one quality that is always present in ADHDers who haven't yet or are just learning to cope with their symptoms.

Fragility.

Something negative happens, big or small, and it can cause us to collapse. Just break down.

This is true for EVERYONE at the start.

As we learn to cope, we become less fragile. We learn to become more resilient.

Learning to cope is a process.

Imagine trying to get better at talking to people. If you aren't able to handle RSD or self soothe, a single negative interaction can cause you to give up.

Personally, to get to a point where I was able to learn it, I had to first get better at managing my emotions.

Self soothe, so I don't spiral too hard.

Mindfulness, so I can more actively figure out what I'm feeling.

And even just learning to let myself feel.

(There isn't a universal structure, this is just how I did it btw)

Next came learning to deal with failure.

Trying and improving is hard if any set back destroys all progress after all.

I guess it's analogous to spreading a safety net before learning to walk on a tightrope.

Imagine you just got diagnosed.

You realized the ADHD was holding you back so decide to put yourself out there.

You try talking to a group of people but kept getting interrupted.

You're gutted. The RSD kills you.

So you stop. It's hurts too much.

Trying isn't the issue here. Nor is it that you can never improve.

But it's like you tried to build the ceiling before the foundations or the wall.

Or like trying to get some tape from a roll. You can't try to get some from the middle.

You have to find the end/ start.

Learning to cope is like doing a crossword in French. If you don't know French, no amount of just trying will cause you to succeed.

So what I'm suggesting to first find a French to English dictionary.

(These tweets were more abstract but I hope it's helpful to someone.)