Danny Profile picture
8 Feb, 7 tweets, 2 min read
There's one quality that is always present in ADHDers who haven't yet or are just learning to cope with their symptoms.

Fragility.

Something negative happens, big or small, and it can cause us to collapse. Just break down.

This is true for EVERYONE at the start.
As we learn to cope, we become less fragile. We learn to become more resilient.

Learning to cope is a process.

Imagine trying to get better at talking to people. If you aren't able to handle RSD or self soothe, a single negative interaction can cause you to give up.
Personally, to get to a point where I was able to learn it, I had to first get better at managing my emotions.

Self soothe, so I don't spiral too hard.

Mindfulness, so I can more actively figure out what I'm feeling.

And even just learning to let myself feel.
(There isn't a universal structure, this is just how I did it btw)

Next came learning to deal with failure.

Trying and improving is hard if any set back destroys all progress after all.

I guess it's analogous to spreading a safety net before learning to walk on a tightrope.
Imagine you just got diagnosed.

You realized the ADHD was holding you back so decide to put yourself out there.

You try talking to a group of people but kept getting interrupted.

You're gutted. The RSD kills you.

So you stop. It's hurts too much.
Trying isn't the issue here. Nor is it that you can never improve.

But it's like you tried to build the ceiling before the foundations or the wall.

Or like trying to get some tape from a roll. You can't try to get some from the middle.

You have to find the end/ start.
Learning to cope is like doing a crossword in French. If you don't know French, no amount of just trying will cause you to succeed.

So what I'm suggesting to first find a French to English dictionary.

(These tweets were more abstract but I hope it's helpful to someone.)

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More from @ABCsofADHD

8 Feb
Intrusive thoughts are especially scary when you have impulsivity issues too.

I'm still super careful around stairs cause my brain starts wondering how it's be to just hurl myself down them.

My ADHD thinks it's be cool but I disagree.
ADHD is like a very young child, who doesn't know how anything works and wants to try it all.

ADHD: 'feel that knife edge, I bet it's super sharp!'

Me: 'it is and it'll cause me to bleed'

ADHD: 'but what if you don't! It'd be cool'

Disaster strikes when I listen to it.
Oh and this is also how anxiety acts as maladaptive 'coping' for ADHD issues.

If I'm absent minded, I might just fucking do it.

Anxiety makes me hyperaware of anything that can hurt me.

It's undesirable and maladaptive but it's probably saved me from really hurting myself.
Read 7 tweets
6 Feb
Question for female ADHDers:

How have your experiences/ symptoms differed from what you've read/ heard/ seen about ADHD?

What would you like to tell girls who think they might have ADHD?

#askadhd

(Here's one to start off: hormones can affect symptoms and your ability to cope)
Some resources below.

I'd also recommend some female ADHD advocates to follow but like 90% of all ADHD advocates are women, and they're all good.

chadd.org/for-adults/wom…

additudemag.com/gender-differe…
I thought of an important yet obvious one.

You can be a girl and have ADHD.

The diagnosis rates are massively skewed (boys are diagnosed at 3 times the rate of girls) but that doesn't mean girls are less likely to HAVE ADHD.

Girls are just misdiagnosed/ not getting help.
Read 4 tweets
4 Jan
Parents with ADHD kids:

Please understand that there's a difference between knowing and KNOWING (ie, understanding).

ADHDers struggle grasping consequences.

So your kids might know why they shouldn't do something but it doesn't mean they understand the reasoning behind it.
I often get questions from parents who say that their kids 'know' that something is bad but they still do it.

I always ask them how they are certain that their kids 'know'.

So your kids might 'know' that they shouldn't leave their toys out but they struggle understanding why.
Even if it's something super obvious that you feel anyone should grasp.

Like why they shouldn't play with sharp objects.

It feels like everyone should 'know' but your ADHDer child mightn't understand why.

Sitting down and explaining 'the obvious' might genuinely help them.
Read 4 tweets
12 Dec 20
We ADHDers struggle to realize things.

As in, some things don't easily occur to us.

I wanna say 'we don't notice things' but I feel thats misleading. Its not that simple.

Eg, you say hello to me and I would say hello back.

But it might not occur to me to say hello first.
I forgot to eat lunch today.

But see, its not that I actually forgot.

I felt hungry.

It just didnt occur to me to eat to sate my hunger.

Its not that I didn't notice ny hunger. Nor did I forget about food. Nor was I distracted.
I remember when I was younger, this would happen a lot and my mam would ask me, 'why didn't you eat any thing?'.

I would reply, 'I don't know'.

And I still don't.

Why didn't I eat lunch today?

It just didnt occur to me.
Read 5 tweets
19 Oct 20
One of the first steps in managing your mental health is to learning to recognize your automatic, irrational thought patterns and spirals.

Instead of being dragged along by the emotional wave, learning to keep your head above water, breathe and slowly swim towards the shore. /1
So for me, one of my common spirals was when I faced failure.

I would AUTOMATICALLY (stressed because they start off completely subconscious and automatic) start thinking:

'Of course I failed. I'm a failure after all. This is why I should never try.' /2
These automatic spirals would drag me along and make me feel worse.

At first, I had to sit down and consciously work on them. Learn to recognize and stop the thoughts.

After a few years, it became automatic. When I start feeling bad, I habitually stop the spiraling. /3
Read 5 tweets
17 Oct 20
ADHDers are incredibly likely to have other diagnoses separate to ADHD. These comorbid conditions, can masks issues, complicating treatment.

When I started managing my depression, my ADHD symptoms 'got worse'. Depression was 'suppressing' my ADHD issues.

butthethingis.com/adhd-and-comor…
Hell, I didn't even realize I had ADHD cause of the depression.

It really masked all of my more hyperactive symptoms. No interrupting, no rapid thoughts, no excitability, none of the ADHD chaotic-ness.

Inattentive symptoms were iffy cause depression can cause similar issues.
Looking back, ADHD with depression can really look like 'just' depression.

If I met the 'past me' now, I don't think I'd be able to tell that 'past me' had ADHD.

You can see how this would complicate diagnosis and treatment.
Read 5 tweets

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