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Elie Mystal Profile picture
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9 Feb, 4 tweets, 1 min read
I really hate this game of "let's cite a @FedSoc guy for authority because he's not being a complete intellectually dishonest dick this time."

I get why they're doing it. But, like, I don't cite Satan when making my argument that sex is good and fun. There are other sources.
And now we're elevating Turley. This is annoying.
This argument also proceeds from a false pretense: that Republicans are reasonable and can be convinced through logic or shamed by their own hypocrisy.

None of that is true. Republicans will say one thing today and another thing tomorrow. It's their way.
You see what happens, Larry?

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More from @ElieNYC

Elie Mystal Profile picture
8 Feb
I wouldn't *completely* dunk on a lawsuit against GorillaGlue. Label says "skin" not "hair" which is different. And there are things such as hair glue.
It's not the easiest case to make, but it's not as dumb as, like, 90% of the Trump election lawsuits the media took seriously.
And, that's absolutely a point worth making. People feel chesty to dunk on a Black woman who admittedly did something stupid.
But the actual POTUS and the @GOP made far more legally dubious arguments for 77 days and mainstream press treated them like they had a shot.
So, I dunno, maybe think about who you're dragging and why. Is it that you've really thought through personal injury law? At the very least, consider if you've brought the same energy for this person as you've brought to Rand Paul, who is actually dumber.
Read 6 tweets
Elie Mystal Profile picture
3 Feb
I usually share *positive* stories about my kids and my relations to them. But, you know, those are the best bits. Overall, the struggle is real. Here's half an hour from my life today:
The 5yo was supposed to draw a picture of winter stuff yesterday, which of course he didn't do, even though I specifically told him to do it, yesterday, I didn't check that it was done.
So, today, right before his lunch break, the teacher says he needs to bring the picture with him for his class in half an hour. I run around finding him paper and say "DRAW A SNOWMAN" then go to make his lunch.
Read 9 tweets
Elie Mystal Profile picture
28 Jan
Every time you think the @nytimes can't get worse, they take it as a challenge.

There is NO MENTION in this editorial that Trump signed 220 goddamn EOs in 4 years, DWAFING the pace set by previous presidents.

nytimes.com/2021/01/27/opi…
And the reason for that is that this is edit not interested in presenting a well thought out opinion of PRINCIPLE, nor is it actually trying to PERSUADE anybody to do anything, or even rile up "the choir."...

It's just trying to play cowardly both side bullcrap.
The point of this piece, the ONLY point, is to appease the white supremacists and other Republican aligned forces, who complain about the "liberal media."

It's so some fucking guy can go on TV and say "no no no, we've been critical of the Biden administration as well."
Read 14 tweets
Elie Mystal Profile picture
22 Jan
I don't know how to make this point sexy, but when you read Biden's EOs vs Trump's EOs the thing that strikes you most is the COMPETENCE.
Biden's EOs are written in the language of LAW, and STRUCTURE, and like BUREACRACY.
I just cannot emphasize how SHODDY Trump's legal work was. Like the straight legal writing CHOPS of his entire administration was SO BAD.

You'd get a Trump EO and the first 3 hours was just looking at thinking: "what, the hell, is this even SUPPOSED TO DO?"
Biden's EOs are like: "a thing to do this [law]" "which affects the following laws [law law law]" "and revokes the following provisions [law law law]" "in concert with the following [law law law]"

Like, THEY ARE WRITTEN BY PEOPLE WHO KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING.
Read 4 tweets
Elie Mystal Profile picture
20 Jan
Inject this into my veins
Oh it happened more than once... :)

There was a third person to who left "to go skiing."

Or as the media will report it: left for "economic grievances."

Read 27 tweets
Elie Mystal Profile picture
20 Jan
People who've followed me for a while know that I rarely *knowingly* drunk tweet. Unless I'm on a late commuter rail back from the city, which hasn't happen in a while.

So, with that as a disclaimer, I think the inaugural insomnia I and others are experiencing is fucking weird.
Like... WE WON. We SURVIVED. We should be feeling elated. Like, I was in 2009 before Obama. My only concern the night before that was if the *party* I planned for that day would be fun for my guests.

This doesn't feel at all like that.

I think there are two reasons:
1. @chrislhayes made a near-miss car crash analogy tonight, and he talked about the "adrenaline" one gets as one realizes they *almost died.* I think a lot of this right now is just "holy shit, HOLY SHIT THAT MAN ALMOST KILLED US." We're a bit amped from almost not being here.
Read 5 tweets

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