[THREAD]
In order to help save our Basketball™, next year’s championship game will undergo a series of rule changes—spearheaded by a secret cabal of corporate & political elites—to help “fortify” the likelihood that their preferred team is crowned Champion.
In order to help save our Basketball™, next year’s championship game will undergo a series of rule changes—spearheaded by a secret cabal of corporate & political elites—to help “fortify” the likelihood that their preferred team is crowned Champion.
There will be no truth to conspiracy theories that this secret cabal of corporate & political elites were motivated by anything other than an altruistic desire to save our Basketball™ & any such speech by the losing team will be forbidden & condemned as a danger to the public.
Due to the pandemic, officiating will of course be performed with binoculars off-court
Instant replay will be performed several days after the game, well after players have bathed themselves in champagne and well after newspapers, magazines and news stations have declared them Champion.
These slow motion replay views will not be made available for public viewing and no explanation will be given for such an unprecedented, sudden change in policy and transparency.
This secret cabal of powerful career politicians, Big tech, & corporate elites will gain substantial power & wealth as a result of their “fortifying” efforts but this will be purely coincidental as everyone knows, corporations & politicians are not motivated by power & greed.
If the slowest, least talented, and least practiced team (e.g., the bumbling Washington Generals) were to somehow win the championship and win it by record breaking margins, then maybe... maaayyybe you would have reason to doubt the results. But that would never happen.
Just to clear things up, Joe Biden is not the Washington Generals in any way shape or form.
Absolutely no way
Absolutely not even close
I mean come on. “Fortified election” or not, the guy is obviously one of the sharpest, most talented politicians of our time. His agility. The way he’s able to improvise and think on the fly is really something to watch.
It’s no small wonder that he was able to shatter the all time record for most votes by any presidential candidate in history.
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