When I found out that @Women_Canada scrubbed the word "masculinity" from the new CAF directive on addressing sexual violence in the military, I flipped my wig.

I was told by both Canadian Armed Forces & Status of Women Canada to relax.

But this photo says it all, doesn't it?
This has consistently been my experience working with the CAF : Either outright hostility or absolute ignorance with an almost "Oh, golly gee. Sorry there, little lady. We done goofed."

And to find out that Status of Women is enabling this nonsense is infuriating.
And if you don't believe me, I have a "justification" in writing from the Canadian Armed Forces. I also spent weeks asking to meet with someone from @Women_Canada and all my requests were ignored.
The word "masculinity" did appear in the initial document. I praised the CAF. That praise was published in the media.

Then I found out @Women_Canada instructed CAF to remove "masculinity" and replace it with "Gender stereotypes".

The weakest of sauces, friends. WEAKEST.
I take no pleasure in dragging Status of Women Canada. To be honest, I have more than one person in my DMs right now telling me to be careful because I might lose the ability to ever get my work funded again.

But I gave them MONTHS to answer me & this photo put me over the edge.
And let me state this unequivocally :

The inclusion of the word MASCULINITY was groundbreaking. Replacing that with "Gender stereotypes" is offensive. These are not interchangeable words.

CAF has the lowest female representation of any occupation in Canada. NAME THE PROBLEM.
It still blows my mind that the CAF was willing to name "masculinity" as the root of the problem re: sexual violence and STATUS OF WOMEN CANADA said "No. Replace it with gender stereotypes."

I was grumpy when Status of Women changed their name to WAGE and I'm sad I was right.
All of which to say, we cannot be surprised that the Canadian Armed Forces posted a photo of a bunch of white men at a conference table as a means of talking inclusion when the Feminists in Government™️ don't even get it.
Lastly : Remember when I shared my experience with RMC and everyone called me a liar? So I wrote an award winning book and included letters proving I was harassed and put that chatter to rest?

I have receipts, people. I always do.
PS The most offensive part for me personally was after I was consulted, I praised the inclusion of masculinity. When it was removed, I got someone on the horn at CAF who had the nerve to tell me "We removed it after talking to experts."

I'M AN EXPERT. IT'S WHY YOU CONSULTED ME
I was briefed on October 27. The embargoed document I had named "Masculinity".

I praised them when news hit Oct 28:

The document went public & I saw they'd pulled the word on Oct 29:

Been asking Status for answers ever since.

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More from @JulieSLalonde

25 Feb
*Stares in 2015 me who was averaging about a hundred threats a day and who couldn't speak in public without a police escort because I had spoken about sexual harassment at the Royal Military College*
Two. Chiefs. Of. The. Defense. Staff. In. A. Row.
Perhaps this news will help you understand why I'm so furious with @Women_Canada

Read 4 tweets
24 Feb
I'm working on a piece about incest as the last big taboo of the #MeToo era.

Looking to speak with a few victims/survivors for the piece.
Preferably Canadian/living in Canada. Any gender or age.

Please reply or contact me through my site if you feel safe. 💛
My DMs are closed for my own safety reasons. Apologies I have to make you go through my site, but yeah. The world sucks sometimes.

Yellowmanteau.com
Addendum : I am shook by how many people I've heard from in the last hour. I am humbled by how many people trusted me to reach out.
Read 4 tweets
18 Jun 20
As an educator who works with young women AND as someone who was 5'10 in the 8th grade: I cannot implore you enough to talk to the young women in your life about the ways older men will hit on them & make them feel like it's a sign of their maturity.
Regardless of YOUR gender, if you know any 11-12 year old girls, please debunk all the pop culture nonsense about muses, groupies.

Our culture is saturated with examples of older men using young women's minds and bodies as inspiration.

It needs to stop.
Young women deserve to know the truth about how proximity to power is a trap.

Please speak frankly with them about how it *does* feel good to get attention, especially from people who have power. Validate their feelings. Then debunk the whole thing.
Read 12 tweets
4 Jun 20
I am drowning in "BUT IF WE DEFUND COPS, WHO WILL PUNISH RAPISTS?!" messages.

*Deep breath*
I've been working with sexual assault survivors since 2003.

I have, without exaggeration, supported literal thousands of women and girls in my lifetime.

I can count on ONE hand the amount of women who got a conviction. I don't know a single one whose rapist went to prison.
But I do know two hands full of women who were killed by men they had formally reported.

I also know two hands full of women who took their own lives because they were so badly traumatized by the legal system.
Read 8 tweets
12 May 20
I was born & raised in rural/Northern Ontario.
I've done work to end violence against women for 17 yrs.

Some quick facts you should know about violence against women in a rural Canadian context:
1- Guns. Guns. Guns.

I grew up in a house of guns and I literally did not know a single person growing up who did not have guns in their house.

Domestic violence gets cranked up to 11 when you know the man has access to a firearm.
2- Confidentiality is largely a joke.

Everyone knows everyone. Everyone knows you. Everyone knows your abuser.

The officer assigned to your case might be the same guy who busted you for underage drinking when you were 15.
Read 9 tweets
24 Apr 20
If you break up with your partner, reject a guy on Tinder or ignore a man catcalling you, and he then goes on a rampage, harming others - It is not your fault.
If you survive abuse and do not report that abuse, and he goes on to hurt others - It is not your fault.

If you survive abuse and report that abuse and the system does not believe you, so he does it again to someone else - It is not your fault.
If you reject a man and that man then harms himself - It is not your fault.
Read 4 tweets

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