Tweet

DungeonMaster Ewington 🎲🇪🇺

Follow @AndiEwington

13 Feb, 7 tweets, 2 min read

The Bastard Nutcracker: often found hiding at the bottom of a luckless adventurer’s bedroll...

Trumpet Wanker: likes to sneak up behind you and ‘toot’ while you’re trying to pick a lock...

Chest Jockey: takes great pleasure in riding off on your treasure chest just as you’re about to loot it...

Pissed-Off Pin Cushion: really annoyed with the Rangers in your party...

Pooper Shooter: Has really loose bowels when angry and about to attack...

Nobbled Nag: Slow-moving monster driven to make the group’s loot disappear as quickly as possible...

O’ver ‘Ere: Annoying bastard who is always trying to get your party’s attention...

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

More from @AndiEwington

DungeonMaster Ewington 🎲🇪🇺

@AndiEwington

14 Feb

Catwalk D&D group:

Barbarian: loves rough sports and formal occasions. Rages at anyone who hates pink.

Catwalk D&D group:

Rogue: brazenly walking off with someone’s backpack while maintaining an ‘18’ Charisma...

Catwalk D&D group:

Cleric: Never been wounded in battle, nor ever been laid. Able to hold 3000 pieces of gold in their pockets without an encumbrance penalty...

Read 21 tweets

DungeonMaster Ewington 🎲🇪🇺

@AndiEwington

28 Dec 20

Cats as characters from Lord of the Rings...

Read 29 tweets

DungeonMaster Ewington 🎲🇪🇺

@AndiEwington

28 Dec 20

Been a pretty good year for my tweets...

Read 4 tweets

DungeonMaster Ewington 🎲🇪🇺

@AndiEwington

17 Dec 20

Alien(s), but as cats!

Read 54 tweets

DungeonMaster Ewington 🎲🇪🇺

@AndiEwington

11 Jul 20

DM: ‘You come to large wooden door’

Cat: ‘I knock at the door’

DM: ‘An orc opens it and growls at you to come in’

Cat: ‘I do nothing’

DM ‘He growls at you to come in again’

Cat: ‘I do nothing’

DM: ‘Eventually the orc tires and slams the door’

Cat: ‘I knock at the door’

Cat: ‘I start singing loudly about our adventures!’

DM: ‘You’re not a Bard’

Cat: ‘I keep singing!’

DM: ‘You’re NOT a Bard!’

Cat: ‘Still singing!’

DM: ‘Make a Dex Roll’

(Fails)

DM: ‘A steel boot flies through the air and knocks you out’

Cat: ...

DM: ‘Before you is a wide chasm-‘

Cat: ‘I jump the chasm’

DM: ‘It’s too wide-‘

Cat: ‘I JUMP THE CHASM!'

DM: ‘Roll for Dex’

(Success)

DM: ‘You don’t make it, I said it was too wide. You’re falling to your de-‘

Cat: ‘I land on my feet’

DM: ...

DM (sighs): ‘Roll for Dex...’

Read 84 tweets

DungeonMaster Ewington 🎲🇪🇺

@AndiEwington

30 Nov 19

The Complete Pets D&D Thread Starts here (minus pictures for ease of posting)... enjoy... I'll be adding to this periodically — keep checking back for the latest update. Thanks. DME

DM: ‘You come to large wooden door.’

Cat: ‘I knock at the door.’

DM: ‘An orc opens it and asks you to come in.’

Cat: ‘I do nothing.’

DM ‘He asks you to come inside again.’

Cat: ‘I do nothing.’

DM: ‘Eventually the orc tires and closes the door.’

Cat: ‘I knock at the door.’

Dog: ‘I want to scoot ahead.’

DM: ‘You mean ‘scout’’

Dog: ‘No, scoot - something is irritating my anus - maybe I shouldn’t have licked that orc poop.’

DM:....

‘Roll for dexterity.’

Read 46 tweets

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!