i think a lot about all the harsh and critical things people have said about me over the years. i don’t have an actual thread about it because that would come across as psychotic, but i kind of have an informal thread of threads about it in my head
A bit of conventional wisdom i dont agree with is “ignore the haters”. i try to keep tabs on my haters with the same sort of general curiosity that i use to keep tabs of everything else. its a kind of dark and dangerous knowledge but so is learning about people, i think
the danger of immersing yourself too long in your worst thoughts is that you lose all sense of proportion and mistake it for reality, but my antidote to that is to simultaneously immerse myself in the best things, and also to periodically disassociate/depersonalize entirely
a sort of cool consequence of this is that i have basically (took about 15 years?) preempted and accounted for what seems to me to be basically every possible criticism people can have. which is a large but finite set. people are neither very perceptive nor imaginative
people sometimes see my friendly nerd utterances and assume that i must be this naturally cheerful naive happy clown who isnt constantly obsessed about total societal/ecological breakdown

i have a very dark nihilism about me i just dont think its helpful to share too much of it
sometimes people are like “oh that guy is so happy cheerful all the time what a fake act” and im like lolll you really wanna hear the dark shit huh. it isnt even particularly interesting. i mean, thats the critical flaw of the dark side, theres no fun or play. just bleakness
Or, well, sometimes people just dont wanna hear from you at all and would prefer that you didnt exist at all. and, yknow, theres a tiny tiny part of me that relates 😂 but for the most part i am basically devoted to Existing On Purpose and im truly sorry if some1 cant handle that
i dont mean that as a fake apology- i actually am genuinely truly sorry that i cannot please everyone and that my existence is offensive and upsetting to some people. i truly wish it werent the case and i truly wish we could all be friends
but we live in the real world, and having experimented, i find my current formulation to be the best balance of being true to myself + doing the best i can for others. i‘ll always be sorry about those i cannot be a friend to, but i cant let that distract me from those i can help
But enough about me anyway lol - how are you doing??

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More from @visakanv

24 Feb
almost every mention of Brian Eno's Scenius idea links to either Kevin Kelly's 2008 post, Bruce Sterling's repost of that on Wired, or a quote of Eno speaking in Sydney in 2009.

Here's a quote from Eno's 1996 book, "The Year With Swollen Appendices", via datadeluge.com/2019/01/brian-… ImageImage
this is interesting for a couple of reasons

1. he mentions that he came up with it "a few years ago", so likely early 1990s

2. he points at some examples himself (usually people link to Kevin Kelly's chosen examples) Image
Aha, and here is James Ogilvy mentioning a specific year and place – 1993, at a conference in London

books.google.com.sg/books?id=a2RIU… ImageImageImageImage
Read 10 tweets
24 Feb
looking at 20 years of blogposts and writing about scenes and scenius, and I think, funnily, everybody who's written about this is so eager to emphasize the the group over the role of the individual, that they seem to gloss over the role that "scene managers" play
Pericles' lover Aspasia hosted the house parties that Socrates hung out at
Max Planck hosted the house parties that Einstein hung out at
Read 8 tweets
24 Feb
advice for improving your dating profile
"I must confess I have a weakness for big butts, it's a problem. should I talk to a therapist about this??"

"I often get into trouble for blurting out what I think. a sensible man would learn to quit doing that. I am not a sensible man"

the point is to match your utterances to fit your personality

Read 6 tweets
24 Feb
Wait there were Two industrial revolutions? I am tired
1. Textiles, railroads, iron, coal, steam

2. steel, chemicals, petroleum, automobile, electricity
I feel like the thing most missing from my education was the emotional quality of things. Like how WW1 was a hideous shock that made lots of smart people become bleak and nihilistic af; I feel like I only started contemplating that stuff in my late 20s. Tho... I did read abt it..
Read 5 tweets
24 Feb
I love to study this sort of video very closely. If you really look you’ll see that the guys don’t actually want to hurt each other and they’re even quite careful to avoid it. It’s more like a mosh pit than combat. Ritual release of pent up anger but nobody wants to go to jail
there are these little rules like, if a guy falls down you give him a kick or two, but not the head, and but be slow enough to give him time to get back up
the objects (chairs, bicycles) are thrown with great gusto but if you wanted to do real damage you’d use them as melee weapons rather than projectiles

but the point is to avoid seriously hurting anyone. Please no cops or ambulances we are trying to have a civilised brawl here
Read 6 tweets
23 Feb
it's amazing how, in the absence of Having A Job, I somehow find a way to put myself in a position where I have at least two important sets of things to do, so that I can procrastinate anyway
it will be interesting to eventually become Fully Financially Independent just to see how I figure out creative new ways to avoid my work
(currently torn between "I have an ebook that's due on Feb 28" and "I have a salon I want to prepare for on Mar 13", both entirely self-inflicted)
Read 5 tweets

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