PERFECT LOVE CASTING OUT FEAR:

John says 'perfect love casts out fear.'

Perfect love displaces fear. I think fear can displace our awareness and experience of perfect love. It cannot displace God's love, but it sure can displace our awareness of it.

1/
Knowing you're in anxiety's grip is actually not as easy as we think. We tend to bear down and try harder instead of pausing.

One way to notice it: you are no longer aware of God's presence and God's love.

It could be that your anxiety has displaced your awareness.

2/
Warning Signs:
- you start to think it is all on you/all on your shoulders.
- 'if it is to be, it is up to me.' An anxious statement if ever I heard one.
- An impending feeling of doom or hopelessness.
- Rigid thinking, either-or locked in thinking.
- double binding.
3/
Chronic Anxiety has a 'gospel.'

'it is on you, there is not much you can do, you are not ______ enough, YOU are not enough, there are only bad options, try harder, do more of the same.'

Recognizing Chronic Anxiety's message helps you displace it with the actual Gospel.
4/
Even though we have the Gospel, we often don't access it. We spend most of our time living by our false selves, not by the Gospel. I have been doing this work for decades and I still spend more time living for false self, than I do resting in my identity in Christ.

5/
So it is essential for me to practice radical self kindness as spiritual transformation can be slow, slow, slow.

We think we should be further along by now.

That last sentence is yet another evidence of anxiety's grip.

Should, should, should.

6/
But what if you stopped 'shoulding all over yourself.'

What if you were at least as kind and patient with yourself as God is?

Perfect love displaces fear and Chronic Anxiety.

7/
Displacing it can be a learned spiritual practice.

1. Notice that I have lost touch with God's presence and love.
2. Name what I think I need that I don't really need.
3. Die to that.

8/
4. Jesus died so I don't have to ______ anymore
5. What if I were at least as ______ to myself as God is.
6. Pull out your life giving list and do something on that list.
7. Pause and breath, breath, breath.

God is as close as the air you breath, in and out.

9/
This is a slow, learned spiritual discipline.

A couple of disclaimers:

- There are at least 5 types of anxiety. I am only talking 'chronic' anxiety which shows up based on false belief, false assumption or false need.

10/
PTSD, GAD, Grief, Acute anxiety etc are all based on real triggers and require a different set of tools.

11/
Finally, I rest most when I remember that not only is God with me, but God is AHEAD of me, already at work in the thing I am anxious about. God is there too. So when I walk into an anxious situation, I am walking into a situation where God is, and God is at work.

12/12

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More from @stevecusswords

20 Feb
Anxiety resides in 4 spaces:

1. The space inside you
2. The space between you and another
3. The space between others
4. The space inside another.

A powerful de escalation tools is to first locate the anxiety. Where is it?

Often the answer is 'all 4.' Yikes!

1/
Anxiety is contagious, we spread it and escalate it unless we know how to manage it.

This was perhaps my biggest lesson as a trauma chaplain - the very hard work of not catching someone's anxiety.

2/
When I caught it, I was no good to them. I no longer saw what was going on, I was now 'infected' by my own triggers, assumptions, the story I tell myself. I was all wrapped up in myself.

But when I managed my anxiety, I was able to be calm, aware and fully present to them.

3/
Read 14 tweets
18 Feb
Two helpful concepts when looking at anxiety:

1: Consider anxiety as an 'agent' by which I mean it has agency. My argument has always been that anxiety has agency over us before we know it and it displaces our awareness of God.

1/
Many see anxiety as neutral. I see it as nefarious.

It has agency over you and it sends a message of doom.

So becoming aware of anxiety's grip, knowing your recurring triggers and knowing the truth of God's love can really keep it from wreaking havoc.

2/
The second dynamic is power. Lately, especially with all the horrendous power abuses by some Christian leaders, we are thinking about power in terms of gender, race, hierarchy, acclaim etc. This is all good and right and I am grateful for the voices leading us well in that.

3/
Read 12 tweets
10 Feb
Shifting targets generate anxiety.

They are a form of double bind, a 'lose-lose' but they are harder to spot because of their shifting nature.

Like double binds, they can come at us or come from within us. Identifying when you're in a shifting target situation is key

1/
A quick note: they are the intentional weapon of narcissists and psychopaths. They use them to push you around, throw you off what you know to be true. I've seen a narcissistic paint a clear target and then punish you when you hit it.

But for the rest of us....

2/
The red flags to indicate you're in a shifting target situation:

1. When someone comes for help, but you are trying harder than they are for change.

2. Similar to above, no matter your suggestions, they are swatted away with 'that won't work, what else?'

3/
Read 21 tweets
8 Feb
Frustrated with someone? A person in your life generating anxiety in you?

Anxiety says, 'they are the problem' and whoa nellie, they might be the problem or they might be 90% of the problem.

But as long as it is 'they, they, they' you will stay stuck in an anxiety spiral.

1/
Instead, we can pause, get help and map out the problem.

1. What exactly is the problem?
2. What are my attempted solutions?

Often times, my attempted solution is an anger fantasy or self righteousness. Sheesh.

and then....

2/
3. How am I complicit in the problem?

I often think or act in ways that feed the problem. This is not about me carrying what is theirs to carry, it is about recognizing ways my conflict avoidance gene and my self righteousness keep me spinning.

3/
Read 10 tweets
23 Jan
One source of anxiety is when you focus on 'the space inside them.'

There are 4 spaces. We can do something about 3 of them but we can't and oughtn't do anything about the 4th.

1/
1. Space inside you.
2. Space between you and God
3. Space between others or space between you and others.
4. Space inside them.

2/
If you find yourself wondering, 'why do they do it this way?' or 'what could they possibly be thinking,' then you're falling into 4th space obsession.

Obsess all you want, but it will just generate anxiety and you'll spin, spin, spin.

3/
Read 8 tweets
22 Jan
Anxiety gets overwhelming because it has many layers and dynamics. One helpful tool is to pause and dissect the dynamics into manageable pieces.

I have 30 minutes and am happy to define terms, or give tools. What is making you anxious? What would you like to know more about?
You can ask about anything. Here are some keywords:

- Getting unstuck from ‘more of the same’ and ‘try harder.’

- How family of origin affects workplace.

- Childhood vows

- The story you tell yourself

- Reframing

- How Chronic anxiety and the Gospel intersect
- Imposter Syndrome

- Stepping on a leadership landmine

- Receiving a phantom strike

- Double binds

- Values violation

- Rigid communication

- Mixed message

- Inner critic

- Giants on your shoulders

- Second hand criticism
Read 4 tweets

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