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27 Feb, 4 tweets, 1 min read
Dragon: Amazing! I was looking for an animal companion!

Paladin: No, we're here to slay you.

D: Cute! I was about to start adventuring. I'll call you Major Jingles.

P: No, we're the adventurers! And I'm not an animal companion!

D: You're adorable when you're flustered!
#DnD
D: Do you want a snack?

P: No! I want your blood!

D: Oh no! My poor companion has come down with vampirism! Here, this potion will take care of it.

P: I don't want your stinkin potion!

D: Thats no way to behave! I'm going to have to boop you on the snoot with a scroll.
P: Did... did you just slap me with rolled up paper?

D: Oh, sweetie! I'm so sorry. I just... you have to listen. You don't always understand everything and I have to keep you safe. But I'll try to handle it better next time.

P: You are really serious?

D: Yes! Let's adventure!
P: I'm not an animal though.

D: Well... from my perspective, that's quite debatable.

• • •

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More from @snickelsox

Snickelsox Profile picture
26 Feb
Elf: What is that you're eating.

Dwarf: Century potato. A true delicacy in my kingdom.

E: The name implies-

D: Yup! Aged a full century!

E: That's a rock.

D: To an unrefined tongue. Try some.

E: My teeth literally cannot eat rocks.

D: But iron and salt are fine?
#DnD
Elf: Those are minerals, they are tiny.

Dwarf: For your tiny teeth? Or for your tiny world?

E: Excuse me?

D: I didn't studder. I see you eating only chicken tenders and fries almost all the time. You judge my "rock" but couldn't describe more than 3 flavors. Now open up.
Elf: You're mean.

Dwarf: And you're fussy. Now open up, here comes the Choo Choo.

E: *munch*

D: Soooo...

E: It hurts and tastes like...

D: Like...

E: *swallows* ...a rock.

D: Yup!

E: I hated it.

D: Probably. But at least you tried something new. I'm proud of you.
Read 5 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
25 Sep 20
Totally reworked Preferred Bounty (finally) into a Prey ability. Less a blanket skill (and rip off) and a more focused and versatile one now. Glitch Hunter is pretty much finished. (Obviously more balancing required). #Retroverse Art @LluisAbadias Image
Three Subclasses are Slayer, Protean, and Shade. Think Doom, Metroid, Metal Gear Solid. A bit more complex than that and trwisted to allow lots of different play styles but that's the basic idea.
Spell Chamber pushed down in level so you get it sooner. Changed up a bit for clarity. Really hope y'all enjoy. Loads more to work on but look forward to those in TW3.
Read 4 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
25 Sep 20
Cleric: How do you stay so trim?

Fighter: We do spend a lot of time fighting.

C: Yes but I’ve seen you eat. You eat as much as all of us combined.

F: Oh, I took a bite out of a Gelatinous Cube once. I can feel it inside me still.

C: What!?

F: I haven’t pooped in years.
#DnD
Cleric: We have to get that thing out of you?

Fighter: Why?

C: It’s killing you!

F: Kinda. But so is the sun, the air, and all those goblins.

C: Yeah, bu-

F: At least this way I get to eat whatever I want. I downed two cheesecakes yesterday. It was glorious.
Cleric: It’s not natural!

Fighter: I’m not smart enough to debate you on that. Hey wizard!?

Wizard: Technically our friend has simply traded an inefficient microbiome for an aggressive macro one. It may seem strange to us but so is breathing fire to those unaccustomed to it.
Read 6 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
24 Sep 20
Me: Saw some old pictures of dad. He was a pretty good looking man back then.

Her: I don’t know what’s I should be more worried about. That you though a man was good looking or that it was your dad.

*cue hour long argument about how I can compliment men*
*with sprinkles of “even if I was gay, what business of it is yours?”*

I’ve been thinking about this exchange for several weeks now. I still don’t know what to make of it.
I guess just normalize men complimenting other men? I think we all need it.
Read 5 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
24 Sep 20
HONK IF YOU JUST CAN’T
MY CHILD IS A REAL DISAPPOINTMENT
HONK IF YOU’RE VERY, VERY LONELY
Read 5 tweets
Snickelsox Profile picture
24 Sep 20
Well... shit. I do not know how they could make it any more plain.
“But he can’t do that!” everyone cries out as he continues to do that.
There’s never going to be some point that pushes us collectively over the edge. One atrocity leads to another worse one. The best time to stand up (in whatever way you can) was years ago. The second best time is now.

Talk to family.
Vote.
Organize.
Say NO.
Read 4 tweets

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