Upbringing is important and greatly influences how individuals manage relationships. 🧵
So when people check out the families of those they intend to marry or do business with, I understand. Ideology, lifestyle and values can be shaped by background and family (or the lack thereof).
The thing about learning about a person's family or upbringing is, it helps breed understanding. It should never be done in judgment. We all have our baggage. So, no one is superior.
If you discover that the other party came from concerning circumstances, here's what is important.
Find out if he/she has enough self-awareness to recognize their harmful family practices or background. If they understand that it was not enough to leave those things behind; they still need to process their lingering effects.
Is the person even aware of how much those things are still impacting their relationships? Do they admit and confront it? Are they on an active path to healing backed by deliberate action? If the answer to any of these questions is no, run.
I believe the greatest form of self-awareness is submission. When you understand your human frailties & predilections and you look to God for help, even as you take personal responsibility for your character. 🧵
I have seen too many people do the very things they preached against. So self-awareness is important, as well as awareness of others.
Generally, a lack of self-awareness means you will be completely oblivious to what everyone else around you can see. You exist in a self-righteous bubble, do things without asking for opinions and have a single way of doing things.
When people say communication is everything in relationships, what they fail to emphasise is that there is no substantive communication without speaking the same language. 🧵
The parties will fail to grasp what the other really means and will be confused by seemingly outsized reactions to little things.
While interpreters can help - counsellors - they cannot sustain day-to-day dialogue.
Many don't see what's behind the veil of grand ideas. They think of visionaries as sexy and charismatic but don't know they are very hardworking too. 🧵
What people call success is a result of many concepts, meetings, documents, brainstorms, prototypes, strategies and so on. Some boring, repetitive and tiring. It's why some people who always look for activity, excitement and stimulation rarely follow through on anything great.
They scarcely deliver on lengthy projects unless sustained by brilliant administrative support. The behind-the-scenes process of achievement can be sheer tedium.
Yesterday I was thinking about why I look to Jesus for healing. I wondered why I didn't focus on health instead, which is preemptive and a sign of abundant life.
I began to look for scriptures on health and found a few that piqued my interest:
Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. 3 John 1:2 NKJV
A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones. Proverbs 17:22 NKJV
Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones. Proverbs 16:24 NKJV
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but when the desire comes, it is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12 NKJV
Yesterday, I contemplated life. I thought about how we make plans and wait for the stars to align before finally living. I thought about how we rarely enjoy the fruits of our labour because we learnt to manage while coming up. 🧵
Moving from a scarcity to a prosperity mindset is difficult. It's why we keep reserving things for visitors and keep waiting for vacations before resting. It's why we accept less than ideal love and learn to compromise the sacred.
So, yesterday I decided to do something about the restlessness in my spirit. Something symbolic.
This is my pool. Someone had the "smart" idea to make the shallow end 5' 5". For comparison, I'm 5' 10". So, after two steps, my head goes under water. The pool is obviously not for children. 🧵
The problem with the depth is that until recently, I was terrified of water. And with this pool, I can't get tired halfway and stand up. I must make it to either end or side to reach safety.
I learnt to swim to survive. I love traveling and for island destinations, I needed to know my way around water. I swam to enhance my travel experience and to not die on vacation. This year, I finally chose to face my trepidation around water.