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Sooz Kempner

9 Mar, 18 tweets, 5 min read

THREAD: How the contestants of season six of Australia’s Married at First Sight feel about Harry and Meghan’s Oprah interview.

INES: Thinks Meghan is a “she-beast” and has slid into Harry’s Insta DMs.

CYRELL: Can’t believe Harry didn’t offer to help Meghan with feeding the chickens and thinks that was so disrespectful of him.

MIKE: Got bored and complained coz “this isn’t therapy, it’s meant to be just a laugh”. Has advised Harry in an Insta story to "just have a laugh" but is yet to hear anything back.

DINO: Waved his dick at the moon out of respect for the couple in question. Went on to recite an 18 minute monologue he memorised about peace.

JESS: Got hammered and was crying by the second ad break.

BRONSON: When Harry said of William “our relationship is ‘space’ at the moment” Bronson said it was “a really good sign”.

MARK & NING: When Harry first appeared Mark said "looks like he's been down the gym" and Ning started crying because Mark should know how she feels about the gym.

JULES & CAM: Just incredibly happy and happy with everything and happy.

NIC: Couldn't watch the interview as he got stuck outside his house coz Cyrell's brother Ivan was on the doorstep and he won't move. He's been out there for 2 days now and Oprah has offered to intervene.

MELISSA: Was heard to say "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" during the credits.

MARTHA & MICHAEL: "........"

LAUREN: Realised 45 minutes in that she was the Diana of MAFS season 6.

MICK: Mainly loved the "Humphrey Yogart" bit from the beginning. Has talked about little else since he heard it.

HEIDI: DM'd Oprah asking if she'd like to do an interview with her about "my life story". Went on to piss herself.

ELIZABETH: Screamed "DON'T FUCKING TRUST HIM, BABE" when Harry arrived for his portion of the interview. Scoffed whenever he and Meghan held hands. There was lipliner EVERYWHERE by the end.

SAM: Hopes Piers Morgan is ok.

MATT: *blink blink blink blink blink*

Did this after only seeing 15 episodes so for all I know a bunch of them turn out to be murderers or something.

If you enjoy this nonsense you can drop me a dollar or two at paypal.me/soozkempner.

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