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David Burge Profile picture
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18 Mar, 4 tweets, 1 min read
I am totally ignorant about whatever the Snyder Cut is, and intend to stay so
There will come a time in your life when you will realize the cost of staying hip to pop culture references far exceed the benefits
I don't have anything against making 2021 pop culture references, it's just at this point I am more comfortable making 1921 pop culture references
FLASH: Kiki Cuyler and Theda Bara caught in torrid Tinseltown hooch-fueled love tryst in Valentino's Pierce-Arrow

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More from @iowahawkblog

David Burge Profile picture
20 Mar
Welcome to #DavesCarIDService, home of friendly while-u-wait car identification Image
*car is 1966 Lincoln Continental, car on sign is 1949 Mercury

**Unlike Dave's Perfection Automotive of Austin (no relation) I am not perfect at car IDs, I just try to do my best

***If you are new to this thing, here are the general guidelines: Image
****one last note on that McConaughey-worthy slabside Lincoln in the garage door: it's painted in my favorite car shade, one year only 1966 Ford Emberglo. Close to UT burnt orange, thus the "BVOGLO" plates I guess. Image
Read 34 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
19 Mar
This is a payoff to Big Corn Cob Pipe

reason.com/2021/03/18/a-n…
together we can free America from the scourge of inanimate objects
FWIW, here are detailed bong blueprints from my Iowa City salad days. Saving them for my presidential library Image
Read 6 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
19 Mar
The economy is just taunting my lack of imagination at this point
nypost.com/2021/03/18/nyc…
I am doomed to be the Vincent Van Gogh of farting, creating immortal masterpieces in lonely poverty which will sell for millions 100 years after my death
Farty, farty night
Flaming fumes that brightly blaze
Swirling clouds of methane haze
Reflect in David's eyes of china blue
Read 8 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
18 Mar
If it weren't for media people getting fired, the ones who still have jobs would have nothing left to talk about
Apparently we're in for another 753 thinkpieces about what Flerma Glorberson's ousting at TeenBuzz says about where we are and stuff
PIERS RHYS-FLUMBERTON OUT AT BBC
London vaporized in nuclear attack
Read 4 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
11 Mar
$50 million? Should be a basic condition for graduating any US high school, and any journalist who can’t nail all 50 should be fired and deported by trebuchet
Off the top of my head
I am deeply embarrassed by the error, please move Loretta to co-occupant of KY with Bill Monroe and assign WV to Hawkshaw Hawkins
Read 12 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
11 Mar
you all need more Cherry Wainer in your lives
The Strawberry Alarm Clock says time to wake up

(I've gone down a rabbit hole of cheesy '60s organ sounds)
I am particularly fond of this classic of the cheesy organ riff by Minnesota's own Castaways

Read 8 tweets

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