Thread by @RealNaijaGuy

How To Crush Your Fears & Live Bold (Pt1)

My father almost slapped me for attempting to drive his car.

That experience and the ones that followed after helped me understand the concept of fear.

Before I give you the gist, let's talk about fear

#CrushingFearWithStanley

You see this thing called fear?

It has killed many dreams.

Everyone of us has something special that can impact the world and change our lives for good.

But you see, for many people, fear has imprisoned them and prevented them from taking action.

Why?

Fear is a controller!

So what is fear and where does it come from?

Allow me tell you about my driving experience.

Church service had ended and my parents went about greeting everyone (you know the fellowship after fellowship thing?)

Tired, I took the keys from my dad and went to sit in the car.

While waiting for them a woman approached me and asked me to move the car forward so she could find enough room to drive out her car parked behind us.

Right in front was another car so ours was pretty much sandwiched.

I had never driven a car before.

But I felt confident I could move it forward just a bit to allow this woman go.

As I was about to slot in the key to start the engine, my dad showed up and yelled at me.

I was scared. I froze.

He asked me alight and hand him the keys.

I spent the rest of the journey home explaining why I wanted to help the woman.

She was in a hurry and I felt I could move the car forward a bit.

I later got to understand why my dad yelled.

If I had moved the car and mistakenly hit the one in front, no one would have cared I

was trying to help.

My dad promised to teach me how to drive.

But that experience left me scared of the wheels and not willing to learn, until one day, my friend told me he had learned to drive.

The courage came up again.

At this time, my dad was busy and travelling.

So I called his mechanic.

He showed up, we took one of the cars, Mercedes Vboot, and same day I learned how to drive.

Easy peasy.

A few years later, I had another driving problem.

An uncle of mine bought a car and needed me yo drive him around in it.

The problem?

His car was a manual transmission.

I learnt with an automatic car and had never driven anything manual.

The first time I got behind the wheels of that manual car, I was jittery.

Every once in a while, the engine would go off when I try to change gears because I'd take my foot off the clutch to fast.

After a few times, I got used to it and now I can 'fly' a manual car.

You may have experienced this too: Your first time driving a car can be awkward.

But once you do it over and over again, it becomes second nature.

The same happens when you learn to ride a bicycle or bike.

If you haven't gotten the gist already, I just used that to explain to you the types of fear we experience.

Fear is of two types:

1. Fear as an emotion.

2. Fear as a habit.

It is absolutely normal to feel fear.

Why?

Because fear is an emotion.

A signal.

It is there to actually help us.

It is like a signpost that says: hey, there is danger here. Abort mission.

If you are trying to do something, the brain searches for any memory of that activity.

If the brain can't find any reference (meaning this is something new, like driving for the first time), the brain will trigger the amygdala, which initiates fear.

This is fear as an emotion and it is absolutely okay. It is your body preserving itself.

Fear as a habit, on the other hand, is when we have conditioned to react negatively to situations, whether new or familiar.

This is the one that is destructive and in Pt2, I'll explain it.

The first step to crushing your fear is to understand it.

Are you responding to a new situation (the signal) or are you reacting based on a conditioned bad behavior?

Understanding this difference will help you know the next steps to take to crush your fears.