Thread by @daniellamyoung

Happy Sunday, all. Welcome back to Coffee & Culture #8.

We're gonna have a 🧵 about the term "Loyalty", how we use it individually, how we use it organizationally, & how it becomes problematic fast. And cults, of course, y'all know me.

"When Loyalty & Obedience go too far"

2/ First, like any good English major or social scientist, let's define our term:

Loyalty: the quality or state or an instance of being loyal.

"LOYALTY implies a faithfulness that is steadfast in the face of any temptation to renounce, desert, or betray."

@MerriamWebster

3/ We can already see from this definition that loyalty might require sacrificing ourselves or personal value system, but more on that soon.

First, let's talk about how we are likely to use the term colloquially, when we talk about individuals like friends or family.

4/ I'll tell you about Jess. She's one of my ride-or-die friends. If she called me up in trouble, I'd meet her at the airport with tickets to non-extradition 🇧🇷, & ask questions once safely at the beach.

I would literally sacrifice my integrity bc loyalty to friends or family.

5/ So, now that we’ve established that there’s almost an inherent tension between loyalty & integrity, let’s talk about organizations.

First, we have to talk about group norms—which is basically psychological muscle memory for behavior.

6/ Things that make no sense in another setting, quickly become normalized as a way that group does something. Often, this means nobody ever questions it again.

7/Next, we need to talk about this group psychology concept, introduced by Dr. J. Richard Hackman, that says that humans will do anything to be accepted by a group of which they are voluntary members. (We’ll talk about cults in a bit).

It really does mean anything.

8/ When organizations start talking about “loyalty” it becomes dangerous. If we recall that loyalty & integrity have a problematic tension between them, & we include the knowledge that group behavior norms & pressure to fit in happens very quickly in orgs, we see the problem.

9/ Eventually, an organization will ask you to choose the group over the individual, & when that happens, you’ll have to lean on your own brand of integrity (whatever that is) to help you make that choice.

10/ If that same organization has a heavy focus on “loyalty to group”, you’ll face undue pressure when making those (often hard) decisions.

11/ With loyalty creeps the concept of obedience, & often what is birthed out of that in ‘loyalty organizations’ (like armies, religions, mission-driven companies) is the idea of unquestioning obedience to a supreme leader.

12/ We recognize that in things like religious cults, for example, but we often don’t apply that concept to our more ‘normal’ organizations.

13/ At the end of the day, you should never grant anyone your unquestioning obedience. Ever! It’s always dangerous, & it’s almost always dangerous in a way that you didn’t suspect initially.

14/ Organizations, for a laundry list of reasons that take a degree’s worth of time to explain, often ask for your unquestioning obedience. Always say no & find a way to critique.

15/ Now, let’s talk about leaders & loyalty. We've had some extreme examples recently. Demanding the loyalty of subordinates & followers is straight out of the cult-leader handbook. This is what the Jim Jones’, Fidel Castro’s & David Berg’s (my cult, keep up) of the world do.

16/ We also allow ‘good leaders’ to do this in so many contexts.

17/ In America, in 2003, we saw the concept of ‘loyalty’ (which is what Patriotism often becomes boiled down to) get us into a costly & morally-wrong war in Iraq. It cost the lives of ~4k-American men & women, & it’s still somehow seen as ‘dangerous’ to publicly question.

18/ Loyalty got us into that conflict--& we were wrong.

19/ Often, it’s not individual leaders’ faults that loyalty can get off-track so fast. Indeed, it’s very difficult to recognize the creep of group-think & cult-mentality unless you are looking for it (or you are lucky enough to be fluent in cult-ese).

20/ But, if we don’t watch out for it, it can kill us, ruin our organizations, & collapse our integrity.

21/ In the end, I’m not saying to never use the term Loyalty, but to, for sure, use with caution like the loaded-bomb of a concept that it is. Study how loyalty has caused more harm than good through our cultures & organizations, & know the meaning of your values.

Thanks for having Sunday morning coffee with me. @threadreaderapp please unroll.