Share this page!

Lucia Lorenzi Profile picture
Twitter logo
21 Mar, 4 tweets, 1 min read
Doing my taxes and thinking about money in terms of underemployment and chronic illness (I have never been able to work full-time) and wasted, low-paying years in academia makes me feel many feelings, all of which are very, very bad.
I am so tired of doctor's appointments and intake forms that are all about making sure I can work. More work. always work. Getting work so I can afford treatments I absolutely can't afford because I do not have full-time work and/or benefits. I'm...I'm so tired.
I'm trying to figure out how to have the energy to do scholarly reading and writing when it doesn't pay. I've been putting my limited energy into some small contracts I've gotten, or into job applications, or trying to deal with the upkeep of my body.
I used to do a lot of writing and blogging. For six years I volunteered weekly in peer support. I loved doing those things and I had the energy to do unpaid things on top of work/school. And now, I just...I can't. I'm trying and I can't.

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
　

Keep Current with Lucia Lorenzi

Lucia Lorenzi Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @empathywarrior

Lucia Lorenzi Profile picture
20 Mar
I'm returning to some of the texts that I first considered when I first learned to write as a "scholar" (however one wants to define that), and so much of that is also about revisiting the deep and lasting harm of the very early and formative "mentorship" I had from white women
I am looking at some of the earliest work I ever produced. I am tracing my citational practices - down to the very first epigraph I ever chose - as a way of understanding this harm, and seeing moments where my hesitancy to write otherwise was really a fear of losing mentorship.
I know that many folks look back on their early work with embarrassment. But there is something really...really hard when that early embarrassing work, down to the kind of analysis you learned to produce, is reflective of really fucked-up relationships and abuses of power.
Read 6 tweets
Lucia Lorenzi Profile picture
19 Mar
I'm listening to talks. Lots of them. Absorbing. Nothing wrong with the input but my brain is so, so foggy, and blank. Still, I'm trusting the work is being done even when I can't wrap words around it. No articulation of a framework or a method possible other than feeling.
I painted a little today, I was frustrated with my gessoed panel. Frustrated with the blank white spaces at the edge of the painting, annoyed with priming substrates and beginning with the lightest values first.
As I was painting (or being annoyed about painting, rather), I was thinking about the fear of saturating the substrate with pigment, the fear of starting with dark values and the way they resist undoing, what it means to fill the tooth of a page, to sink or sag a substrate
Read 7 tweets
Lucia Lorenzi Profile picture
26 Feb
"'Inclusive excellence' is a way to maybe offer kinder or gentler exclusion, or a less transparent exclusion. But the category of excellence is still going to retain its ideological agenda until we confront it on a systematic, everyday, concrete basis." - Dr. Roderick Ferguson
(This is from Dr. Ferguson's #DiversityAtKU talk - couldn't fit the hashtag in this first Tweet!)
As I'm listening to Dr. Ferguson's talk I'm thinking about these current cluster hires for Black faculty (like at McMaster University, where I recently held a postdoc), and how universities talk endlessly about Black excellence but haven't even made commitments to Black life.
Read 7 tweets
Lucia Lorenzi Profile picture
25 Feb
I'm currently doing an intake form for the pain clinic that does surgical procedures and I think it's hilarious (in a bad and awful way) that we still give these pain questionnaires to people like they 1) are somehow neutral; 2) aren't written from an abled perspective of pain
I see you, questionnaires, trying to elicit a particular narrative from me.
"Patient note: I've opted not to complete these particular questionnaires for X reasons, I'm happy to discuss my relationship to pain and illness more at our intake session!" is a phrase I just annotated this with.
Read 11 tweets
Lucia Lorenzi Profile picture
24 Feb
I wonder for how many other scholars who have taken time away from their research (or from whom research time has been taken away) there is a significant forgetting of what you know. I can't name a lot of what I read anymore. I feel, often, like I would be embarrassed to teach.
In the five years since I finished my PhD, I have not done research for many reasons. First, because I was unemployed and too worried about money - for a while my only income was poorly-paid marking at a local college - to even think or write or read.
And then, I had a non-academic job, and I commuted three hours round-trip each day for it. At one point, I worked four days a week at that job and then commuted out to UBC to write sometimes, since I still knew grad students in the department.
Read 30 tweets
Lucia Lorenzi Profile picture
23 Feb
Can't wait to quote MC Hammer in my (hopefully eventual) MSc thesis one day. I am also working on risk of bias assessments of clinical trials today so am as always thinking about the broader ecosystem of judgment and knowledge-creation in which we do scientific work...
Which is to say that my thinking about questions about truth and certainty and reliability in the humanities (and the systems of power and relation in which they circulate) is what drives my interest in the sciences as well, and why I care so much about evidence synthesis.
This morning/afternoon, I'm attending a symposium on automation for systematic reviews, and the questions of who creates the automation and what underlying philosophies or assumptions we use to automate synthesis (as with any form of automation) are deeply important!
Read 6 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Like this author's thread?

Get emails when @empathywarrior has new unrolls!

Check out other threads from @empathywarrior!

Read all threads by @empathywarrior