Thread by @cassesque

Good morning! It's Day 1 (I'm renaming yesterday Day 0) of #CassSRS and I have been woken up by screaming! It's that very metal, very dramatic, very murdery scream that foxes like to do at 2am just to really scare the shit out of you and it has worked 😎

Day 0 if you're not yet caught up

https://twitter.com/cassesque/status/1374454275036737538?s=19

The playbill for today is as follows:
-Now until ?: I tweet into the void until I can get back to sleep.
-05.00 lovely nurse wakes me up with lovely coffee.
-I then tweet pensively and increasingly franticly until...
-approx 12.00 when the ACTUAL THING HAPPENS

Yeah that's right friends it's the event of the year, #CassSRS!!!
-11.00-???: You hear nothing. The entire world waits with baited breath.
-some point this evening: garbled, possibly offensive tweets start appearing because the ward staff have given me back my phone too early.

Just a pre warning: I last had a GA when I was young. If it's anything like last time it'll be pretty spicy :) takes a lot to knock this mf out. Ask the anaesthetist I had ~20y ago if he still has marks from where that 5yo tried to strangle him during induction once.

Waking up should be just as fun. 😎

Peaches update before I try and sleep again: she is sleeping on the cabinet, because she kept falling out of bed. It's okay, she likes it.

See you in the morning ♥️

Nope, sleep is not happening! Just not what my brain is equipped for currently!

Anyway, same deal as yesterday. Like, engage and RT or Peaches gets it. She's here as a hostage as much as moral support.

One person who is considering GRS has already messaged me, so we're doing good things ♥️

But I can't stress enough, Peaches will suffer if y'all don't engage to my arbitrary satisfaction.

That's right pals it's Night Cass™ on main 😎 #CassSRS #SavePeaches

2 thoughts pervading my every being currently:
-what would it take to trick the anaesthetist into giving me that sweet, sweet propofol early? Like, now???
-I forgot the other one because my brain is soup

OH yes 2) I am regretting the #CassSRS thing already because it's a very outdated acronym. 'Gender affirming surgery' has terrible initials so we're all gonna have to agree to persevere and commit to the bit.

I have not slept all night so let's do the next best thing!!! That's right nerds IT'S LEARNING TIME 🌈

https://twitter.com/cassesque/status/1374586511270805506?s=19

Finished that thread within a thread just in time for the nurse to bring my coffee! Gonna finish this and then it's enema time 🥺🥺 gonna spare y'all a thread on that

The next thing is my surgeon is coming to see me. He has, uh, mixed reviews in terms of bedside manner.

Anyway 1k likes and I'll ask him how much it is to surgically implant cat ears at the same time as my bottom surgery lmao

Enemas are terrible. Ask me how I know.

It's been 20 minutes and I'm still on the toilet. I am so sorry to the dozens of people I have given these to in the past. All I ask is forgiveness. Please let this end.

It ended! As you were, we're all good ♥️

*breaking news sting* PEACHES UPDATE:

Chill af, bed to herself all morning as I have to stay in the chair apparently.

Scrubbed myself with the fancy sponge and my only task left is to rearrange so everything is to hand for when I'm back this afternoon and unable to move 😏

Seen the surgeon and the anaesthetist and the day ward team! Literally just waiting now, plus calling my mum ♥️

Just kinda vibing now. Bit bored. 🤷‍♀️

Look at this sky! Beautiful day to mutilate myself to do more autogynephilia ♥️

This is fun, I should live tweet every day!!!

-woke up, ate noodles, did makeup. Gone for the same look I've had for the same 10 years without variation
-work time!
-I'm in resus yaaaaaaaa
-microwaves are broken :'(
-did cpr
-gave a weird new antibiotic idk
-home, dinner, bed

Pls ignore these, it's to prompt myself when I'm going back through.

Future, more aerodynamic Cass: talk about prep for coming back and having everything nearby.

Don't talk about the blutack, that was a stupid idea

I'm so happy to see all you new people! Thanks for coming along! Just FYI, you're gonna be SO disappointed when this is over. I mainly post about palliative care, communism and being sad.

I'M GOING AHH WISH ME LUCK ♥️

Quick stream of consciousness before I nap and forget it: I was in for about 80 minutes (he's fast and good). Afterwards I have no memories for the next roughly 2 hours in recovertt.

I 'woke up' (started making memories) in pain.

It felt like someone was rubbing the inside of my bladder with coarse grit sandpaper. I was scratching the bed rails and trying not to cry because big sobs sent arrows through my abdomen.

I had dose after dose of IV opiates and went onto neuro obs (opiates kill you by slowing everything down, including your pupil reflex, so it's a good way to tell early if someone has had too much?)

Sorry if im missing content warnings but the context should make it apparent. I'm shattered. The recovery anaesthetist looked me over and saw the pain was gone and not returning. It was probably bladder spasms. No huge obvious complication.

Pain is now annoying like I've been kicked on the balls. What @vyrthandi excellently demonstrated is right, I'm feeling pain and sensation on body parts that are now in a completely size, shape and position.

I haven't been kicked in the balls because they're in the bin lol

I am going to sleep! Shattered. I love you all and will try to respond later ♥️♥️

The fentanyl is working, I keep hallucinating that my cat is here! Although I think it isn't a hallucination of I know it is??? Idk

Okay. I'm awake and able to remember big words.

I always read accounts of waking up saying things like "I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders" or "I feel like a complete woman" or "being so relieved I can't stop crying".

The kind of sentimental clichés I absolutely hate. I'm far too cool for that. And I thought, well this enby ain't gonna feel any of that crap. I'm just having surgery to wear leggings easier and have less guilty sex.

And, uh, boy was I wrong.

It's probably the anaesthetic talking, but it's all true 😂

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my soul. It's so freeing. The one small downside, and sorry for the crudeness, is that the weight seems to have been transferred directly onto my balls.

I know academically that my tested are in a bag being sent to pathology to run some routine checks. But if you ask my brain, they're where they have always been and the right one specifically is currently wedged in a nutcracker

Mmmmmmm

@vyrthandi has graciously informed me that this is staying around for a while. I'm hoping maybe that once I physically see the area my brain might remap, but time will tell.

What have I missed? Any questions? :) ♥️

The nutcracker pain is gone for now! Still got phantom genitals but they're just vibing lol

I am happy in ways I haven't been before. This is a total shock, I was expecting to feel neutral or a little excited at best. My brain is flooded with happy juice and it's wonderful

Love each other! I can heal the world!!! I'm gonna solve climate change!!!!

This must be what meth feels like. Minus the whole meth part. What I'm saying is don't do drugs, just cut your dick off.

Right so let's carry on learning! First, a little addendum to the TEDS talk (so proud of that, don't @ me):

This is a flowtron boot (brand name). It helps squeeze the calves by, uh, squeezing the calves.

https://twitter.com/cassesque/status/1374586511270805506?s=19

It's extremely simple and extremely good. It's also not a boot; it's clearly a pair of leg warmers with a balloon inside and a pump there on the end of the bed.

Next up, catheters! That may be tomorrow though because I'm gonna call my fiancée now. Good night if so!!!

Future Cass note: the towel on the tummy works and was a good shout ♥️

Follow along!

https://twitter.com/cassesque/status/1374863574967975944?s=19