Thread by @MutemiWaKiama

WHAT ADVICE WOULD YOU GIVE?

Thread the ongoing #SGBV & rape By @jacobaliet

There are several snakes of all sizes that are harmless to humans. In fact, they can be safely kept as pets and as a control for rodents....

However, there are also several venomous snakes and constrictors that are dangerous to humans.

So, what have humans done to deal with this situation?

Human beings have taught their kids, and the numbnuts among them, that snakes are dangerous and they should stay the hell away from snakes.

This has worked fairly well for humans. The flipside of it is that humans have ended up killing snakes needlessly.

In the old Testament, this is the same wisdom behind the diet laws that directed Jews not to eat pigs. Trichinosis infection from eating an infected pig could wipe communities and with no way of distinguishing healthy pig meat from an infected one...

...a law was made that told people to simply never eat the damn hogs.

This is the example I want to draw from.

When it comes to real life, there are creeps, rapists, violent whackjobs and gentlemen.

If you meet a man, telling whether he is a rapist or otherwise is not easy by just looking at them because rapists can manipulate and pretend. After all, they are humans. And you don’t know what someone really is.

In fact, psychiatrists maintain that we are all potential something – what we call dark sides.
So what have humans done to deal with this?

Humans have created punitive laws to deal with such acts.

Rape and assault of any form is treated as a crime and is punishable through a penal system.

However, the law deals with acts that have been committed and, however punitive you get, the harm has been done.

The victim has to live with the scars.

So what can we do to prevent, not just merely punish rape and abuse?

1. We discourage such behaviour and condemn the insensitive treatment of GBV and rape victims. We all agree on this.

2. We teach both the perpetrators and the victims about how harmful GBV and rape is and put in place regulations that can deter such acts. We all agree on this.

3. We teach our girls about how to avoid rapists and situations that can make them become targets of twisted persons. This is where we cannot see eye to eye.

(Some) Feminists do not believe that we should teach girls to avoid bad situations (like teaching girls that there is no “free lunch” from strangers, like avoiding going alone into the houses of strangers, like getting intoxicated in the company of a stranger) as in 3 above.

Merely mentioning these survival tactics and encouraging basic self-awareness and common sense, toxic feminists maintain, is giving the rapists a get-out-of-jail-free card, is defending rapists and is tantamount to blaming the victims.

They are so blind with anger and their emotions on hair-trigger that they are unable to calm down and distinguish prevention measures from post hoc remedies.

They will bust a gasket and turn their guns on you with their eyes shut tightly. Then they will start blazing and will not release the trigger until there is nothing where you once stood.

This shows a limited understanding of what causes rape and how to stop it.

They seem to believe, incorrectly, that rape is something that happens singularly because it is encouraged, enabled and sponsored – by men.

This ties back to blank slate equality mindset.

They refuse to believe that there are sick people (that don’t need enablement) in the world who belong to mental institutions.

Toxic feminists believe that all gender-based harm comes only from normal, healthy men who are simply enabled and encouraged.

This rose-tinted Disney-world thinking is not supported by reality.

They believe that the only way of stopping rape is shifting the entire burden of guilt and responsibility to men and treating women as victims with no reasoning ability or risk assessment capabilities.

And, for them, that is the only framework for discussing rape and curtailing rape.

In other words, don't try to empower or advise women: just focus all your attention on the rapist alone when discussing the matter.

Women should be free to walk into the houses of strangers at any time, have strangers buy them drinks and not expect anything in return and men should understand that no means no. Period.

I would want that world.

I would want a world where everyone was healthy and normal. I would want a world where people are generous and resources are not scarce.

But that is utopia. It simply doesn't exist however much you hate people who point this out to you.

And it will never exist.

As much as I know there are men who buy women free lunch, and as much as there are gentlemen who can handle a woman responsibly after they pass out from intoxication, I will advise my daughter that in this world, there is no free lunch.

I will tell her to work for everything her heart desires and I will advise her not to go into the houses of strangers or place herself in compromising situations.

This advice, as much as it will not be favourable to the men willing to buy free lunch to women, will likely keep my daughter safe from creeps, than selling her a fantasy about the world.

As she grows up, she will temper my advice with her own judgement.

But as general advice, I will urge caution, not trust.

I will not advise her to think all men are normal and healthy. I will tell her that there are men out there who will try to take advantage of her. I will tell her to take care of herself as much as possible and not wait to become a victim then start finger-pointing & sputtering.

Those who want to teach their children that there are no creeps in the world and that men give freebies to strange women can also do so.

After all, it’s a free world.

What advice would you give?

#End