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Abby Honold

@abbyhonold

21 Oct 20

The average person has no idea the lengths that most victims of abuse go to to hide the abuse from everyone. The reason you don’t see abuse isn’t because it isn’t happening - it’s because both the abuser and the victim are often heavily invested in hiding it.

It makes sense why an abuser would hide their behavior. But most people can’t wrap their minds around why victims cover for their abusers. First & most importantly: this is often someone that they love. Someone who loved was good to them once.

Calling your partner an abuser - to anyone - often feels like crossing a point of no return. And for many victims, the response is either:

1. Defending the abuser - “maybe you’re overreacting”, “I don’t know if I believe that”

2. “You need to leave”

Read 7 tweets

Abby Honold

@abbyhonold

3 Jun 20

THREAD:

I asked twitter yesterday for resources on prison/police abolition that address sexual violence & domestic violence, and I’m going to share everything in a thread. These resources range from personal narratives to books to academic articles - it’s a wide range.

Survivors: if the mere idea of abolition (or analyzing our punishment for violence in general) makes you anxious, you do not need to grapple with this. It is not your responsibility to figure out how to heal the brokenness that has already heavily impacted you.

How Can We Reconcile Prison Abolition With #MeToo? by Victoria Law filtermag.org/how-can-we-rec…

Read 22 tweets

Abby Honold

@abbyhonold

19 May 20

I’ve been holding back from commenting on Title IX issues for the last couple years, because I am far from an expert. But today, I’m setting aside trying to be an expert and just talking about why, personally as a rape survivor, I’m seriously concerned about the new guidelines.

TW: sexual assault for a lot of this thread.

In 2014, I was raped. It happened in broad daylight during a tailgate party by a fellow student. It was extremely violent. When I ran onto the street, a fellow student told me I needed to go to the hospital. I called 911.

Without going into my whole story (although there’s a lot more information out there if you want it), reporting to the police did not go well. Responding officers rolled their eyes at me, and after hearing me describe how I had begged for my life, said I “should’ve just said no”.

Read 11 tweets

Abby Honold

@abbyhonold

3 Apr 19

TW: sexual violence & reporting

In 2014, a serial rapist/fellow college student raped me. I don’t want to go into details (but feel free to google if you are curious). I escaped around 12 pm onto a street full of people. I was pretty incoherent, but someone told me to call 911.

I hadn’t necessarily had fun experiences with law enforcement before (which is maybe expected, given my teenage activities). But I never would’ve predicted that I would be treated badly as a crime victim. Almost as soon as I was in the back of the ambulance, things went sideways.

I was uncomfortable being alone with two men. I asked for a female officer, and was told no. I asked if my friends could come sit with me, and I was told no again. I said I should call my mom, and one officer told me “this is pretty embarrassing for you, you can call her later”

Read 13 tweets

Abby Honold

@abbyhonold

16 Dec 18

I’ve seen a lot of talk about suicide this weekend, and a lot of “call a hotline”. Which is absolutely one good solution. But as someone who has been down this road many times myself, I know it’s not that simple. So here’s a thread for folks struggling with suicidal thoughts:

First off: wait. Press pause on whatever plan you’re making. Promise yourself each time that you have suicidal thoughts that you’ll wait at least 3 days (or a week, or a month, or a year - whatever feels manageable) before taking any action.

Ask yourself if your basic needs are met. Are you hungry? Have you been sleeping? Have you been drinking water? As silly as it will feel in the moment, those things can have a big impact on your mental health if other factors are already bringing you down.

Read 14 tweets

Abby Honold

@abbyhonold

28 Sep 18

Every once in a while, sexual assault hits the media in a big way. And yet we hardly ever elevate the work of advocates for victims of sexual violence, who work day in and day out to make a better world & are rarely heard. There are lots of constructive things you can do to help.

Did you know that most rapes reported to law enforcement are pretty much ignored? Rape kits not tested, witnesses not interviewed, reports not even written. Do you know what this looks like locally for you?

@leahegriffin

Did you know that many victims are turned away from the hospital, because there isn’t widespread access to forensic exams? A brave survivor named @leahegriffin is trying to change that: seattleweekly.com/news/how-one-s…

Read 16 tweets

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