I’ve seen a lot of talk about suicide this weekend, and a lot of “call a hotline”. Which is absolutely one good solution. But as someone who has been down this road many times myself, I know it’s not that simple. So here’s a thread for folks struggling with suicidal thoughts:
First off: wait. Press pause on whatever plan you’re making. Promise yourself each time that you have suicidal thoughts that you’ll wait at least 3 days (or a week, or a month, or a year - whatever feels manageable) before taking any action.
Ask yourself if your basic needs are met. Are you hungry? Have you been sleeping? Have you been drinking water? As silly as it will feel in the moment, those things can have a big impact on your mental health if other factors are already bringing you down.
Now it’s time to connect with another human being. This is important. This could be the point at which you call a hotline. You could call a relative of yours that you haven’t talked to in a while. Go for a walk. Go to the store. Call someone who has been kind to you in the past.
You don’t need to tell anyone that you’re suicidal if you don’t feel that you can. But talk to someone. About anything. Think about how that person, even if they don’t know you at all, would feel if they knew that you were suicidal. They would probably want to help. Remember that
Try processing your feelings with yourself. What are the tangible things that are causing these feelings of fear, desperation, or hopelessness? Start by just trying to identify what you feel is causing difficulty for you.
If you feel up to it, make a plan. If loneliness is causing hopelessness, jot down some ideas about how to feel more connected to others. If memories of trauma are overwhelming, brainstorm some ways to lessen the burden (therapy, writing, finding others with similar experience).
Remember that each step of this is a lot to do when you feel that living is impossible. That’s okay. Take some time. Start slow. Some folks spend years with suicidal thoughts, some only a few minutes. Everyone’s experience is different, and your path to healing is yours.
If suicidal thoughts occur frequently for you, I hope that you do whatever you can do to find a therapist or care team. Not because I don’t believe you can’t do it yourself, but because I believe that you deserve help along the way.
Access to mental healthcare can be extremely difficult depending on where you live, which is why other suggestions on how to work through suicidal thoughts without ending your life are so crucial. You shouldn’t have to work through this alone.
When you’re feeling more stable but still feeling lost? Time to work on finding passion. Joy and passion can be hard to come by. Start trying new things. Keep track of what makes you feel joyful or connected or focused. Make more time for those things if you can.
Feeling suicidal does not mean you’ve failed. It does not mean that you are broken beyond repair. You have worth and value and opportunities for joy and happiness that you haven’t even seen yet. And it’s okay to not know how to get there on your own.
I honestly didn’t expect this when I wrote this this morning, but I’ve gotten multiple messages since posting this from people who felt suicidal today, but seeing this changed things & it’s moved me to tears. Never underestimate the power of speaking out about surviving suicide
If anyone told me 4 years ago (or 8 years ago) that anything in my life could ever get better, I wouldn’t have believed them. Hearing other people who had survived suicide talk about it changed my life. Therapy changed my life. There shouldn’t be stigma, just support ❤️
