Thread by @ianmSC

It’s now 2 months since @CDCgov mandated masks be worn over the nose & mouth at all times on public transit...and cases are rising again

I really thought this would be the time…masks would finally end Covid due to federal leadership clearing the way for science

Whoops!

To be fair to @CDCgov, an incomprehensibly dumb organization, and to the masks, there are a few exceptions to the mask law that our gracious moronic overlords of pseudoscience have allowed us. Let’s examine them, shall we?

Exception 1: “While eating, drinking, or taking medication for brief periods of time”

For brief periods, ok? No enjoying your food or taking long bites, peasants. Brief eating ONLY. How brief? Don’t ask questions. Brief.

Exception 2: “while communicating for brief periods of time with a person who is hearing impaired when the ability to see the mouth is essential for communication”

When the mouth is non-essential though? MASK ON, PLEBE.

Exception 3: “if, on an aircraft, wearing oxygen masks is needed because of loss of cabin pressure or other event affecting aircraft ventilation”

We’ll let you not die serf, but only for a BRIEF PERIOD

Exception 4: “if unconscious (for reasons other than sleeping), incapacitated, unable to be awakened, or otherwise unable to remove the mask without assistance”

Feels rather charitable, doesn’t it?

Exception 5: “when necessary to temporarily remove the mask to verify one’s identity such as during Transportation Security Administration (TSA) screening or when asked to do so by the ticket or gate agent or any law enforcement official"

If another overlord decrees it!

Exception 6: “when experiencing difficulty breathing or shortness of breath or feeling winded, until able to resume normal breathing with the mask; when vomiting until vomiting ceases”

AS SOON AS YOU FINISH VOMITING, MASK BACK ON. NOW. I SEE THAT VOMIT IS DRY, GET IT BACK ON.

Con’t: “or if wearing a mask interferes with necessary medical care such as supplemental oxygen administered via an oxygen mask."

Still don’t see why this is an exception, how do we know how necessary the oxygen is, right?!

So I just wanted to say thank you to the @CDCgov for their charity. Letting me vomit without a mask until it ceases is a gift I never knew I needed. You’re the best.

Remember guys, we’re all in this horrific, devastating, tragically comic era of relentless stupidity together!