Thread by @CynthiaMN5

@HiDrNic I did two written PhD exams and an oral qualifying exam for my doctorate in sociology. The two written exams were stressful, but manageable because we had samples of past exams and reading lists. You could also fail them twice and pass the third time.

@HiDrNic HOWEVER, the oral qualifying exam was a nightmare and could be mildly stressful to horrific, depending on your committee. I was given no guidance, and just told to work towards a dissertation proposal. 2/

@HiDrNic 3/ I knew I would have to change advisors after the oral preliminary (my last barrier to becoming a dissertator), so there were many levels of stress. I am usually quite articulate, and already been a teacher. But I completely froze during the oral prelim.

@HiDrNic 4/ There were five professors asking me questions. My advisor, who had been hitting on me, his wife (joint with women's studies), my former advisor (complete asshole), one halfway decent person, and a fantastic professor who was extremely kind and asked questions.

@HiDrNic 5/ I passed the oral, even though it went badly. They told me they would generously pass me because I was such a good student. I remember sitting on the stairs in the building just shaking afterwards.

@HiDrNic 6/ I knew that they had wanted to hurt ne, to break me down (with the exception of two of the five). It was too much on top of what I had been through in the two years before. In the next two weeks, I fell apart and an acute psychotic breakdown.

@HiDrNic 7/ The fact that I had an acute psychotic breakdown in the last week of August of 1993 is not a secret. I was unfortunately publicly crazy. (I redeemed my image over a long time, but that is another story). But there is no longer an oral PhD exam in the Dept. of Sociology there.

@HiDrNic 8/ Five months after my psychotic breakdown, the faculty at the Department of Sociology at the University of Wisconsin-Madison voted to do away with the oral PhD prelim. I had been liked and was an excellent student. I was deeply grateful and moved when I heard about the vote.

@HiDrNic 9/ But we still need to re-examine post graduate education (and undergraduate education). Only a small percent of people go to graduate school, and it is difficult for most people to understand how bad it can be.

@HiDrNic 10/ From the outside, the fact that you get a stipend of $650 a month to be a teaching assistant and get your course fees paid for seems amazing. The reality is that you will work 20 to 30 hours a week as a TA, and then another 30 hours on coursework. While living on $650.

@HiDrNic 11/ Graduate students in the sciences get slightly higher stipends (used to be $1200 to $2000). But they are dependent on the whims and prejudices of the professor who runs the lab they work in, or oversees the project for which they are an assistant.

@HiDrNic 12/ (Aside: there is a reason that Bryn Mawr College has a PhD program). When I left teaching, one of the options I was exploring was getting policy work related to higher education. But I became too ill to work full-time.

@HiDrNic 13/ I once swore that I would never give a single penny to the University of Wisconsin. But in September of 2016, 23 years after my breakdown, at a time when I thought Hillary Clinton was going to win, I decided that I could make a gesture of reconciliation - I donated to the UW.

@HiDrNic 14/ You can see my comments about that donation on my instagram account: lattesdotter.

You do not have to forgive people who hurt you. If you choose to forgive,you do so for yourself. But it is not necessary. By 2016, I had finished my doctorate and been a professor.

@HiDrNic @threadreaderapp please unroll. Thank you very much. Namaste. Happy Bunny and chocolate candy day, etc.