80 years ago, one man’s single trip to the toilet led to the capture and imprisonment of 36 people.
We think there’s something we can all learn from this story.
Now, in Doncaster, we know a thing or two about this subject.
No crass jokes though, please – we are talking about the fact that the inventor of the flushing toilet, Thomas Crapper, hails from our fair borough.
The people involved in this story could have benefited from Crapper’s command of the commode, as a seemingly innocuous trip to the lavatory led to a disastrous turn of events.
The story begins aboard a German U-boat in 1945.
This particular submarine, U-1206, was only a few days into its service when it was sailing near to the coast of Aberdeen.
It was a state-of-the-art vessel, developed with the most modern gadgets and controls. This included a brand new toilet system, which saved energy by ejecting waste directly in to the sea.
The only SLIGHT problem was that this new toilet was quite tricky to use, as Captain Schlitt found out on the 14th April.
It came with guidelines and instructions for use, which MUST be followed.
After concluding his official business at the latrine, he washed his hands and tried to work out how to flush the toilet.
Baffled, he called for help from an engineer. Ignoring the guidelines, this engineer proceeded to open the wrong valve.
Immediately, the submarine started to fill up with a DELIGHTFUL mixture of seawater and human waste.
Captain Schlitt was left with no choice but to order the crew to return to the surface.
When they arrived above water, their vessel was promptly spotted by the RAF and everyone on board was taken prisoner.
The title of ‘worst toilet visit in history’ was cemented.
But why have we shared this unfortunate tale of excrement, excitement and embarrassment? Well, it seems to us that there are a few things we can learn from it.
1)Guidelines are there for a reason – we should follow them.
It’s unlikely that you’ll cause the sinking of a WW2 submarine, but if we ignore #coronavirus guidelines we might all end up in murky waters.
2)Even Captain Schlitt washed his hands
Before he played his part in one of the most chaotic toilet flushes ever, Captain Schlitt gave his hands a good old scrub. If he can do it, so can we.
3)If you ARE ever on a WW2 submarine with a complicated toilet system, remember this simple rule:
After today's #Woolworths drama, we have decided to capitalise on this wave of 90's nostalgia by announcing that we are bringing back Gladiators.
Doncaster will see events such as Hang Tough, Vertigo and Powerball, culminating in a gruelling Eliminator at the Mansion House.
(The UK media picked up on the unsubstantiated @UKWoolworths announcement today, so we're hoping they'll do the same here.
That way, we can trick them in to covering the actual stuff we want them to ⬇️)
As we prepare for the glorious return of Gladiators (sorting out Saracen's contract has taken a lot longer than expected) then why don't we, ohhh, I dunno...
Think about some of the ways to spend half term around Doncaster?
In 2017, a man running the London marathon showed some of the most incredible sportsmanship ever.
We think it’s a story we all need to hear, as we wait for today’s announcements about #coronavirus restrictions.
It was April 2017 when runner David Wyeth was running the London marathon.
Just 300 metres from the end, his race was run. His legs had turned to jelly, and he was at the point of collapse.
After 26 miles of gruelling effort, he had longed to see the finish line – but, having turned the final corner, the sight of the last 300m seemed too much to bear.
You think the last few months have been monotonous for YOU? Well, let us tell you a story.
It’s about a church in Germany that has been playing the same piece of music WITHOUT STOPPING for two decades. #coronavirus#covid19
In 1987, composer John Cage wrote a piece of music –the catchingly titled ‘Organ² / ASLSP’ – and it contains an instruction that the piece should be played ‘as slowly as possible’.
Now, performances of the composition usually last around 70 minutes.
However, in the late 1990s, a mischievous group of incredibly-literal German people got together, and decided to play the piece PROPERLY.