We're doing this ludicrous thread from Katsuki's perspective now 💕 #LetDekuSmash #bakudeku #bkdk #crackfic
---
---
https://twitter.com/queenswagzilla/status/1375872739223859203?s=20
If Katsuki told his middle-school self that he'd started a thirsty-ass stan account for *Deku*, middle-school him would have attempted to punch him in the dick, Kota-style.
He, of course, would K.O. his middle-school self with the flick of a fucking finger, so fuck that guy.
He, of course, would K.O. his middle-school self with the flick of a fucking finger, so fuck that guy.
Katsuki had gotten the idea from Mina.
She hadn't *told him* to do it, because there was *no way in hell he would ever tell her what was going on in his head.* Not even on his deathbed. He would never live it down.
Here's how it happened:
She hadn't *told him* to do it, because there was *no way in hell he would ever tell her what was going on in his head.* Not even on his deathbed. He would never live it down.
Here's how it happened:
He'd beaten Deku's *ass* at Ground Beta. He'd pulled out an indisputable win despite the fact that this dork had *somehow* gotten All Might to give him his quirk.
But when he pinned him down, he suddenly and *problematically* realized just how gay he was.
But when he pinned him down, he suddenly and *problematically* realized just how gay he was.
The nerd was ripped. *So* ripped. He only wore baggy shirts with shitty slogans and basketball shorts, so he'd never really noticed how fucking yoked he'd become. Sure, there was his hero costume, but that was baggy too.
Sitting on top of him to pin him down though? Fuck.
Sitting on top of him to pin him down though? Fuck.
Hearing Deku *panting* beneath him had caused an *immediate* internal crisis.
Deku was *hot.* Like *really fucking hot.* And uh...he was taking notice.
*Fuck, no.*
He was just glad that Deku was too distracted by his custom-made ass-kicking to notice that he was turned on.
Deku was *hot.* Like *really fucking hot.* And uh...he was taking notice.
*Fuck, no.*
He was just glad that Deku was too distracted by his custom-made ass-kicking to notice that he was turned on.
Pinning your rival down after a knock-down-drag-out was the *wrong* time for a boner. Like, the worst time.
Especially since All Might had shown up a second later. Hiding his boner while his idol tried to hug him had been the most mortifying moment of his life.
Especially since All Might had shown up a second later. Hiding his boner while his idol tried to hug him had been the most mortifying moment of his life.
He'd hoped he could make a quick escape, but *no.* Of course not. All Might had to give them a (very intriguing, well reasoned) lecture about working together and fixing their relationship, and Aizawa had needed to chew them out.
Then Deku had to open his fat mouth.
Then Deku had to open his fat mouth.
"It wasn't just him. I also went pretty hard," he said in that fucking warm-tea-on-a-cold-ass-day voice. Fuck, had he always *sounded* that good?
He wanted the nerd to go hard. On him. Jesus fuck. This was a disaster.
He wanted the nerd to go hard. On him. Jesus fuck. This was a disaster.
He hadn't been able to sleep that night. He had to know if it was a fluke. If it had just been a heat-of-the-moment, 'we're both riled up' kind of thing.
So he'd stalked Mina's Instagram. A small, private account where most of the class had made appearances.
So he'd stalked Mina's Instagram. A small, private account where most of the class had made appearances.
He'd found Deku pretty quickly. He was constantly with Floaty, and besides their 'squad,' Kirby was the person Mina photographed the most.
This time, he really *looked* though, and it felt like he'd been hit by a fucking truck.
Deku was fucking *gorgeous.* What the fuck.
This time, he really *looked* though, and it felt like he'd been hit by a fucking truck.
Deku was fucking *gorgeous.* What the fuck.
He wanted to scream, but he couldn't. Shitty Hair was right next door, and he'd barge over and ask him what was wrong.
Nothing. Nothing was wrong. Something was too right. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Then he realized: he'd be stuck in the dorm alone with him all day. Fuck.
Nothing. Nothing was wrong. Something was too right. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Then he realized: he'd be stuck in the dorm alone with him all day. Fuck.
-
-
-
The next day, after his 'squad' teased him for his house arrest stint, Mina had been *loudly* telling Kaminari about how unreasonably hot she thought Hawks was (even though the man could be a complete douche sometimes), when she pulled up a Hawks thirst account on Twitter.
-
-
The next day, after his 'squad' teased him for his house arrest stint, Mina had been *loudly* telling Kaminari about how unreasonably hot she thought Hawks was (even though the man could be a complete douche sometimes), when she pulled up a Hawks thirst account on Twitter.
He had been *calmly* thinking about Deku in a *completely normal way,* but that had caught his attention.
"Lemme see," he grunted.
Surprised but delighted, Mina handed her phone over and let him scroll.
Until high school, Katsuki had never been interested in social media.
"Lemme see," he grunted.
Surprised but delighted, Mina handed her phone over and let him scroll.
Until high school, Katsuki had never been interested in social media.
Well, that wasn't totally true. He had a Twitter account, but he only used it for hero news and stats.
He didn't even follow any actual heroes—he found their personal accounts utterly useless and filled with empty soundbites that had no actual value to him or society in any way.
He didn't even follow any actual heroes—he found their personal accounts utterly useless and filled with empty soundbites that had no actual value to him or society in any way.
But *this*? This had potential.
He didn't actually do anything about it, though. What would he even say?
'Hey universe, I just realized that I want to stick my dick in my best friend turned bullying victim turned rival, send help?'
*No.*
He didn't actually do anything about it, though. What would he even say?
'Hey universe, I just realized that I want to stick my dick in my best friend turned bullying victim turned rival, send help?'
*No.*
So, he handed the phone back to Mina and completely forgot about the idea before it had completely formed.
That is, until the day that Deku *obliterated* Overhaul, and Katsuki's gay realization evolved into outright gay panic.
That is, until the day that Deku *obliterated* Overhaul, and Katsuki's gay realization evolved into outright gay panic.
Holy *fuck*, his nerd was jacked. That's right, *his nerd.* Katsuki *always* got the best, goddammit. He *would* figure out how to get Deku to date him.
And/or bang him. As long as it was a hands-on experience.
And/or bang him. As long as it was a hands-on experience.
But until he figured that out, he had to do *something* with this sudden and overwhelming influx of utter thirst.
Before he knew it, he was logging into his dinky down-low Twitter account, @/_kb420_. No followers, no tweets, only following three news sites.
Before he knew it, he was logging into his dinky down-low Twitter account, @/_kb420_. No followers, no tweets, only following three news sites.
He had some thinking to do here.
If he tweeted about what he wanted to do to Deku from this account and it got *any* attention, it would track back to him. He had to change his handle.
He would need something new and anonymous so that he could rant without risking discovery.
If he tweeted about what he wanted to do to Deku from this account and it got *any* attention, it would track back to him. He had to change his handle.
He would need something new and anonymous so that he could rant without risking discovery.
His mind drifted to the thirst account that Mina had showed him, trying to come up with an appropriate new tag. It had been called @/1SexyChicken, and 100% Hawks focused. Was it gonna be exclusively about Deku?
Yes. Yes it was.
And so @/FuckMeUpDeku was born.
Yes. Yes it was.
And so @/FuckMeUpDeku was born.
-
-
-
part 2
---
To be fair, it started pretty benignly. He needed somewhere to rant about how fucking *awesome* Deku's fight had been without completely murdering his reputation.
He had a feeling Kaminari already knew that he *liked* the nerd, and that was bad enough.
-
-
part 2
---
To be fair, it started pretty benignly. He needed somewhere to rant about how fucking *awesome* Deku's fight had been without completely murdering his reputation.
He had a feeling Kaminari already knew that he *liked* the nerd, and that was bad enough.
He couldn't deal with the rest of the class, too. And he definitely didn't want them to know about the account where he'd posted a twenty-tweet rant about the things Deku could probably crush with his thighs.
But before he knew it, he had a new problem. Well, the same problem.
But before he knew it, he had a new problem. Well, the same problem.
Kaminari. Kaminari was the problem.
This shithead was *devoted* to fucking with his phone while he wasn't looking.
Luckily, his account was small so there were virtually *no* notifications unless they were from the UA Twitter or a news site.
But still. Too many close calls.
This shithead was *devoted* to fucking with his phone while he wasn't looking.
Luckily, his account was small so there were virtually *no* notifications unless they were from the UA Twitter or a news site.
But still. Too many close calls.
It got better in their second year, though.
He'd racked up over 1,500 tweets about Deku over the course of a year by the time they started their PR and Social Media class.
He'd been required to make an official Dynamight account, so he could hide his thirsty-ass—
He'd racked up over 1,500 tweets about Deku over the course of a year by the time they started their PR and Social Media class.
He'd been required to make an official Dynamight account, so he could hide his thirsty-ass—
sub-Twitter behind his rapidly growing main account.
The best part of that? Deku had been required to get an official Twitter, too. Well, the whole class had, but *still*. More Deku.
So much more Deku. It was a fucking *blessing.* He was just as popular as Katsuki, and—
The best part of that? Deku had been required to get an official Twitter, too. Well, the whole class had, but *still*. More Deku.
So much more Deku. It was a fucking *blessing.* He was just as popular as Katsuki, and—
that meant that he got tagged in *hundreds* of civilian photos on a regular basis.
Since he couldn't stare at Deku for three straight hours without raising some eyebrows, Twitter had become a godsend.
Of course the more hero analysis videos and candid photos he saw—
Since he couldn't stare at Deku for three straight hours without raising some eyebrows, Twitter had become a godsend.
Of course the more hero analysis videos and candid photos he saw—
the more unacceptably smitten with the nerd he became.
It was a fucking problem.
He was starting to act like a complete dumbass in *public,* and that was mortifying in a multiple ways.
For example, he was becoming a fucking klutz if Deku was being attractive anywhere nearby.
It was a fucking problem.
He was starting to act like a complete dumbass in *public,* and that was mortifying in a multiple ways.
For example, he was becoming a fucking klutz if Deku was being attractive anywhere nearby.
Once, Deku was changing and bent over to get get out of the legs of his jumpsuit, and Katsuki had closed his locker door on his hand.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I just want to touch his ass. Just once. Please.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I just want to touch his ass. Just once. Please.
Another time, Deku had swept his hair back after a cardio-heavy gym session and Katsuki had dropped his weight plate, barely missing his foot.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I wanna run my fingers through his hair I bet it's so fucking soft I hate him so much fuck
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I wanna run my fingers through his hair I bet it's so fucking soft I hate him so much fuck
The last one is the one that had gotten his friends' attention.
He'd made dinner for the class. Deku had taken his share. Deku had taken a bite. Deku had *moaned like a pornstar.* Katsuki had jolted so violently that he fumbled the still-hot pan and *stupidly* grabbed it.
He'd made dinner for the class. Deku had taken his share. Deku had taken a bite. Deku had *moaned like a pornstar.* Katsuki had jolted so violently that he fumbled the still-hot pan and *stupidly* grabbed it.
Eijirou and Deku had both jumped to help him, but Mina and Denki had just watched. When Katsuki glanced at them, he could see the wheels turning in their heads.
He could also see the exact moment it clicked. Mina's eyes lit up, and Denki's jaw dropped.
Fuck.
He could also see the exact moment it clicked. Mina's eyes lit up, and Denki's jaw dropped.
Fuck.
Katsuki had shot them a warning look, and they thankfully shut the fuck up.
They were nosy and ridiculous but fuck, they were good friends.
"We need to get you some burn cream, Kacchan," Deku fretted. Katsuki smacked his hand away.
They were nosy and ridiculous but fuck, they were good friends.
"We need to get you some burn cream, Kacchan," Deku fretted. Katsuki smacked his hand away.
"Finish eating, Deku. I have burn cream in my room."
Deku was going to protest, but Mina (that lovely fucking demon) cut in. "I'm done eating! I'll help him. You chill, Mido," she grinned widely. He nodded hesitantly, and Katsuki saw his life flash before his eyes as Mina—
Deku was going to protest, but Mina (that lovely fucking demon) cut in. "I'm done eating! I'll help him. You chill, Mido," she grinned widely. He nodded hesitantly, and Katsuki saw his life flash before his eyes as Mina—
dragged him from the kitchen, Denki and Eijirou trailing behind them.
As soon as they were in the safety of Katsuki's room, Mina turned around and smacked him on the shoulder. "You totally like Mido!" she shrieked.
As soon as they were in the safety of Katsuki's room, Mina turned around and smacked him on the shoulder. "You totally like Mido!" she shrieked.
"Fuck Pinky, why don't you yell it a little fucking louder?" he snapped. "I don't think they heard you in fucking France!"
"So you do? You do, don't you? You heard him orgasm about your cooking and you gay panicked!" Kaminari said excitedly.
Kirishima just looked shellshocked.
"So you do? You do, don't you? You heard him orgasm about your cooking and you gay panicked!" Kaminari said excitedly.
Kirishima just looked shellshocked.
Katsuki spent an unreasonable amount of energy *not thinking* about Deku orgasming and replied: "Shut the fuck up."
"He totally does," Mina whispered reverently. "This is the best day of my life."
"You're fucking dramatic. I didn't even say anything!" he snapped.
"He totally does," Mina whispered reverently. "This is the best day of my life."
"You're fucking dramatic. I didn't even say anything!" he snapped.
"You didn't have to. You're blushing so hard I could probably ignite your nitro," Mina giggled wildly.
He blushed harder. Fuck.
"I hate you."
"Nope. Just tell us, Blasty!" she cried. "If you do, we'll wingman!"
"You like Midoriya?" Eijirou yelled, finally catching up.
He blushed harder. Fuck.
"I hate you."
"Nope. Just tell us, Blasty!" she cried. "If you do, we'll wingman!"
"You like Midoriya?" Eijirou yelled, finally catching up.
"Would you fucking keep it down?" he hissed, slapping his hand over Eijirou's mouth. "Fuck, *fine!* Yes, I like him, now shut the hell up!"
"Oh my god," Denki breathed.
"Since when?" Mina squealed.
He squinted, weighing his options. Lie, tell the truth, or refuse to answer.
"Oh my god," Denki breathed.
"Since when?" Mina squealed.
He squinted, weighing his options. Lie, tell the truth, or refuse to answer.
"Since last year," he finally admitted quietly. The drama duo let out histrionic gasps.
"Lsht yrr??" Eijirou yelled, muffled by Katsuki's hand.
"Oh my god dude, you have to let us help you!" Denki insisted.
"*No.*"
"You haven't succeeded in a *year,* Blasty!"
"Lsht yrr??" Eijirou yelled, muffled by Katsuki's hand.
"Oh my god dude, you have to let us help you!" Denki insisted.
"*No.*"
"You haven't succeeded in a *year,* Blasty!"
"Because I haven't been doing anything about it," he snapped. "He's got other shit to deal with, and I don't know if he's interested—"
They *all* scoffed at that. "You're joking," Denki laughed.
"*Kacchan is amazing,*" Mina cooed mockingly. "Okay, sure."
They *all* scoffed at that. "You're joking," Denki laughed.
"*Kacchan is amazing,*" Mina cooed mockingly. "Okay, sure."
"That's not proof! He's been saying that shit since we were like four!" he snapped.
"You're delusional, but fine. We can still work with that!" Mina cheered.
He wanted to argue. Really. But...maybe they could help. Right?
He sighed. "Fine. But be fucking subtle, assholes."
"You're delusional, but fine. We can still work with that!" Mina cheered.
He wanted to argue. Really. But...maybe they could help. Right?
He sighed. "Fine. But be fucking subtle, assholes."
Mina shrieked again, throwing herself forward to wrap her arms around Katsuki.
At least they didn't know about the Twitter account. Mina would read them with a megaphone. Or just...retweet them, which would be so much worse.
"He's accepting help," Eijirou said reverently.
At least they didn't know about the Twitter account. Mina would read them with a megaphone. Or just...retweet them, which would be so much worse.
"He's accepting help," Eijirou said reverently.
"Damn," Denki agreed. "He must be in love-love."
And fuck him for being right, honestly. Katsuki had half a mind to throw him off the balcony.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: [img: Deku's smiling face] I would pay $$$ to feed him home cooked meals and gaze into his stupidly beautiful eyes.
And fuck him for being right, honestly. Katsuki had half a mind to throw him off the balcony.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: [img: Deku's smiling face] I would pay $$$ to feed him home cooked meals and gaze into his stupidly beautiful eyes.
-
-
-
tbc tomorrow! if you're enjoying this fic, please consider buying me a coffee or subscribing to my patreon tip jar!
patreon.com/queenswagzilla ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
-
-
tbc tomorrow! if you're enjoying this fic, please consider buying me a coffee or subscribing to my patreon tip jar!
patreon.com/queenswagzilla ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
part 3
---
Katsuki scowled at his phone. More specifically, he was scowling at a picture of Deku hugging the human vibrator from Ketsubutsu.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: you ever wanna possess someone's else's body just to be in Deku's arms?
His friends had helped a surprising amount.
---
Katsuki scowled at his phone. More specifically, he was scowling at a picture of Deku hugging the human vibrator from Ketsubutsu.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: you ever wanna possess someone's else's body just to be in Deku's arms?
His friends had helped a surprising amount.
Through a significant amount of pushing and manipulating, Deku had pretty much become his exclusive training partner.
It turned out really well. Katsuki spent so much time analyzing (staring at) Deku that he had an inside track on Deku's weaknesses.
The inverse was also true.
It turned out really well. Katsuki spent so much time analyzing (staring at) Deku that he had an inside track on Deku's weaknesses.
The inverse was also true.
That had started at the end of their second year. Now, a quarter of the way through their third year, and they were practically an official duo.
He had Eijirou to thank for that.
He and Deku were both interning with Fat Gum, and he'd *suggested* that they should—
He had Eijirou to thank for that.
He and Deku were both interning with Fat Gum, and he'd *suggested* that they should—
find a way to line up patrol schedules with Miruko so that they could team up. They'd tried it on a trial basis and it had worked so well that he and Deku were basically stuck together 80% of the time.
It was fuckin' awesome.
It was fuckin' awesome.
Since Deku and Dynamight were basically a package deal, there were shit tons of photos of them patrolling together. That was a fucking *blessing* for two reasons:
(1) He got tagged in *so many fucking photos of Deku,* ranging from adorable to downright sexy.
(1) He got tagged in *so many fucking photos of Deku,* ranging from adorable to downright sexy.
(2) He had fucktons of photos of them together that he could use for the slideshow he'd present during the speech at their future wedding.
For example, this photo of Deku smiling at Dynamight while he snarled like a fucking demon.
Sunshine. Bliss. Adoration. Perfection.
For example, this photo of Deku smiling at Dynamight while he snarled like a fucking demon.
Sunshine. Bliss. Adoration. Perfection.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I would sell half my fucking body if he would just look at me like this *continuously* jesus christ i'm so gay
"Hey Kacchan!" Deku greeted him loudly. Katsuki startled and fumbled his phone, barely catching it before it smashed into the ground. "Oops! Sorry!"
"Hey Kacchan!" Deku greeted him loudly. Katsuki startled and fumbled his phone, barely catching it before it smashed into the ground. "Oops! Sorry!"
"Wear a fucking bell, Deku, fuck!" Katsuki snapped, heart racing. He had been staring at a picture of Deku stretching in front of Fat Gum's agency—muscles visible as the material of his costume went taut.
"Sorry! You ready to go?"
They had another fucking interview.
"Sorry! You ready to go?"
They had another fucking interview.
"Yeah, you're the one who's late, fucker," he snapped.
As their careers had started to take off and they'd gained popularity, they'd had to do more press events. Katsuki hated them.
But Miruko and Fat Gum had realized that they could temper Katsuki by putting Deku near him.
As their careers had started to take off and they'd gained popularity, they'd had to do more press events. Katsuki hated them.
But Miruko and Fat Gum had realized that they could temper Katsuki by putting Deku near him.
Or rather, they could temper public perception. Katsuki was a fucking gremlin no matter what, but Deku was a damn good translator for him.
It helped that he was such a ray of sunshine. Nobody believed that he'd spend time with Katsuki if he didn't have redeeming qualities.
It helped that he was such a ray of sunshine. Nobody believed that he'd spend time with Katsuki if he didn't have redeeming qualities.
So yeah, whenever they scheduled Katsuki for an interview, they made sure Deku was free, too.
He rewatched their interview ten times in a row.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: Look at this sweet, adorable, *sexy piece of shit.* I'm fucking melting.
He rewatched their interview ten times in a row.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: Look at this sweet, adorable, *sexy piece of shit.* I'm fucking melting.
Then he scrolled through the #HeroDeku tag, because he was a fucking simp and he knew it, practically dying every time he found a photo of Deku that was unacceptably hot.
There were a lot, and it honestly shocked him that no one had noticed what a fucking meal the nerd was.
There were a lot, and it honestly shocked him that no one had noticed what a fucking meal the nerd was.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: [thigh-centric photo of Deku kicking a villain in the face] Deku could choke me to death with his thighs and I would haunt them. Best afterlife ever.
Two days later, they were on patrol and a truck lost control and careened towards a sidewalk cafe.
Deku didn't just stop the truck. He *lifted* it.
Fuck.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: Oh my god he lifted a truck. He lifted a truck. I'm so fucking gay, what the hell is this?
Deku didn't just stop the truck. He *lifted* it.
Fuck.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: Oh my god he lifted a truck. He lifted a truck. I'm so fucking gay, what the hell is this?
Then, because it was *them* he took a step back and critically analyzed the situation.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: super hot that he could lift it, but did he know he could do that? or did he just risk his dumb perfect life for no reason? fml he's so hot but stupid
@/FuckMeUpDeku: super hot that he could lift it, but did he know he could do that? or did he just risk his dumb perfect life for no reason? fml he's so hot but stupid
About a week after *that,* one of the like...200 followers his tiny stan account had accumulated tagged him in a photo of Deku drinking water.
Just drinking water. From a bottle.
Just drinking water. From a bottle.
Head tilted back, cheeks flushed, jawline *razor sharp.*
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I want Deku's Jawline to cut me in half fuck fuck fuck
@/FuckMeUpDeku: if you're still thirsty you can drink me if you want
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I want to be that bottle so fucking bad, kill me
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I want Deku's Jawline to cut me in half fuck fuck fuck
@/FuckMeUpDeku: if you're still thirsty you can drink me if you want
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I want to be that bottle so fucking bad, kill me
He could spend hours doing this shit. It was ridiculous. He had homework to do, goddammit.
But then his main account was tagged was tagged by the nerd himself.
@/DekuCanDoIt: I love doing interviews with @/GEMGDynamight! He has so much cool insight into hero work!! o(≧▽≦)o
But then his main account was tagged was tagged by the nerd himself.
@/DekuCanDoIt: I love doing interviews with @/GEMGDynamight! He has so much cool insight into hero work!! o(≧▽≦)o
He was going to die of a fucking heart attack. That's how it was gonna happen. Not a villain. Not Denki accidentally electrocuting him.
Deku being adorable out loud and in public.
He QRTed it.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: this cute motherfucker owns my whole ass. my fucking heart.
Deku being adorable out loud and in public.
He QRTed it.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: this cute motherfucker owns my whole ass. my fucking heart.
So yeah. He was still ass-over-mouth in love with Deku three years after his initial gay-wakening, and the public seemed pretty on board with him too.
Which is why it caught him by surprise when, one lazy Saturday morning, his phone started to blow up.
Which is why it caught him by surprise when, one lazy Saturday morning, his phone started to blow up.
He was getting tagged a *lot,* and so was Deku. What the fuck?
He opened Twitter, scrolled as fast as he could to catch up, then *saw red.*
He was out of bed and beelining for the common room a moment later. "DEKU!" he screeched when he arrived.
"Oh, fuck," the nerd sighed.
He opened Twitter, scrolled as fast as he could to catch up, then *saw red.*
He was out of bed and beelining for the common room a moment later. "DEKU!" he screeched when he arrived.
"Oh, fuck," the nerd sighed.
He threw his phone at Deku's face with deadly force and accuracy. "What the fuck is this?" he snapped. His heart fluttered when Deku rubbed his nose where the phone had made impact.
*Focus, you horny idiot,* he scolded himself.
"Ow," Deku mumbled.
*Focus, you horny idiot,* he scolded himself.
"Ow," Deku mumbled.
"My fucking phone is *blowing up* with shitty takes, how fucking dare you?" he shrieked. Yeah, a little irrational, but *fuck* whoever was slandering his nerd and *fuck* the nerd for looking so upset about it.
"I didn't write it!" he exclaimed, looking at him like he was nuts.
"I didn't write it!" he exclaimed, looking at him like he was nuts.
"If people think *your* work is shitty, they'll think *my work* is shitty, fucker!" he snarled. That was a reasonable explanation for why he was riled up, right?
"I literally have no control here," Deku sighed.
"Do you have his name on alert, *Kacchan?*" Denki teased.
"I literally have no control here," Deku sighed.
"Do you have his name on alert, *Kacchan?*" Denki teased.
Ah, excellent. Katsuki had been *looking* for a reason to murder someone this fine morning, and Denki had just volunteered himself. He didn't notice Deku tensing at the teasing nickname.
"Half the fucking country treats this asshole like he's my hero partner. I have *my* name on alert. Did you even fucking read it?"
He said that while trying to telepathically communicate that he was going to strangle him later for being so fucking obvious.
He said that while trying to telepathically communicate that he was going to strangle him later for being so fucking obvious.
Denki mumbled something about not actually reading the whole article, and Katsuki seethed with irritation. It only got worse when he got to the real bullshit and read it aloud.
"Projected hero partner Dynamight is a human grenade and still manages to cause less destruction than—
"Projected hero partner Dynamight is a human grenade and still manages to cause less destruction than—
this simpleton with an OP power-up quirk. Dang, dude, they came for your throat," Denki said, a little horrified.
They *did* come for Deku's throat. The *audacity.*
"The fuck are you gonna do about this, dumbass?" Katsuki snapped, grabbing and twisting Deku's ear for emphasis.
They *did* come for Deku's throat. The *audacity.*
"The fuck are you gonna do about this, dumbass?" Katsuki snapped, grabbing and twisting Deku's ear for emphasis.
He almost let go when Deku whined piteously, but he had a fucking reputation *and* a point to make, goddammit.
"I'm gonna talk to Fat Gum and see if he can help! It won't help if I respond!"
Katsuki's brain crackled with fury. He dropped Deku and pushed him away.
"I'm gonna talk to Fat Gum and see if he can help! It won't help if I respond!"
Katsuki's brain crackled with fury. He dropped Deku and pushed him away.
He was just gonna sit back and do fucking *nothing?* "You're just gonna *let* those braindead extras talk shit about you?"
"I don't wanna make it worse! I'm awkward and bad at defending myself—"
Katsuki cut him off with what could only be described as a rabid growl.
"I don't wanna make it worse! I'm awkward and bad at defending myself—"
Katsuki cut him off with what could only be described as a rabid growl.
Deku backed up immediately and put his hands up like he was expecting Katsuki to attack. Fuck, he just might.
Might attack his face with his mouth because *fuck* he was still all rumpled and sleepy looking and he wanted to cuddle this motherfucker to *death.*
Might attack his face with his mouth because *fuck* he was still all rumpled and sleepy looking and he wanted to cuddle this motherfucker to *death.*
But apparently he had work to do.
If Deku wouldn't clap back at people who came for his throat, *Katsuki would.*
He snatched his phone from the floor and stomped away, ignoring the silence he left in his wake.
He opened the Deku folder in his photos. His time had come.
If Deku wouldn't clap back at people who came for his throat, *Katsuki would.*
He snatched his phone from the floor and stomped away, ignoring the silence he left in his wake.
He opened the Deku folder in his photos. His time had come.
-
-
-
tbc later today! my bro has arrived with *waffles* 🤩 as usual, if you're enjoying, tips & comments are appreciated! ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
-
-
tbc later today! my bro has arrived with *waffles* 🤩 as usual, if you're enjoying, tips & comments are appreciated! ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
part 4
---
He read the article again.
It wasn't very flattering to either of them, but it had done a number on Deku. The worst part is that people were taking it seriously, despite the fact that its first major pickup was from a shitty tabloid.
---
He read the article again.
It wasn't very flattering to either of them, but it had done a number on Deku. The worst part is that people were taking it seriously, despite the fact that its first major pickup was from a shitty tabloid.
He took this shit seriously, okay? Deku had worked too hard to deal with shit like this.
He deserved better. It was a thought that had occurred to Katsuki more than once over the past two-ish years.
When he'd realized that he'd liked Deku, he'd been hell bent on dating him.
He deserved better. It was a thought that had occurred to Katsuki more than once over the past two-ish years.
When he'd realized that he'd liked Deku, he'd been hell bent on dating him.
But as he actually *fell* for the nerd, he'd realized that Deku deserved the best.
And as he gained perspective, he became devastatingly unsure if he actually qualified for that role.
It was only Deku's own insistence that let him hold out hope.
And as he gained perspective, he became devastatingly unsure if he actually qualified for that role.
It was only Deku's own insistence that let him hold out hope.
That wasn't the point, though. Deku was *amazing.* It had taken him way too long to realize that, and he wouldn't let the rest of the world make the same mistake.
He started with a serious thread. A detailed, point-by-point counterargument to the article that he linked—
He started with a serious thread. A detailed, point-by-point counterargument to the article that he linked—
directly under HeroStar's tweet announcing the article.
He was annoyed as *fuck* when no one paid attention to it.
Here's the thing, though: he might not *love* social media for serious news and hero analysis, but he knew how it worked.
He needed to grab their attention.
He was annoyed as *fuck* when no one paid attention to it.
Here's the thing, though: he might not *love* social media for serious news and hero analysis, but he knew how it worked.
He needed to grab their attention.
Shitposts got more attention than serious content, and that was just how shit worked.
He just didn't want Deku to be pissed at him if he found out who owned the account.
But like he said, he knew how this worked, and he was inappropriately prepared for it. So he opened his—
He just didn't want Deku to be pissed at him if he found out who owned the account.
But like he said, he knew how this worked, and he was inappropriately prepared for it. So he opened his—
Deku folder, and got to work.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: Ten Reasons Hero Star and that Awful Analyst Don't Know Shit, A Thread.
This would be easy. He had *way* more than ten reasons he loved Deku. He just had to choose the ones that the public was most likely to agree with, right?
@/FuckMeUpDeku: Ten Reasons Hero Star and that Awful Analyst Don't Know Shit, A Thread.
This would be easy. He had *way* more than ten reasons he loved Deku. He just had to choose the ones that the public was most likely to agree with, right?
Ugh. That wasn't exactly his strong suit. One of the things that he liked about Deku was that he could kick Katsuki's ass. That wasn't something a civilian would vibe with.
Why was he so fucking weird?
Oh well. He'd do his fucking best. Plus ultra.
Why was he so fucking weird?
Oh well. He'd do his fucking best. Plus ultra.
He pulled up his favorite photo first. The best smile he'd ever seen on the nerd's face. How could you not love someone who looked that genuinely excited to see you?
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #1, This Face.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #1, This Face.
And because his emotions were a little too strong after looking directly into the sun, he had to bring it down to a thirstier level.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #2, This Ass.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #2, This Ass.
Since he was already in the thirst place, why not...stay there?
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #3: Them thighs. [A photo of Deku at the third year sports festival, choking Sero out with his thighs.]
He should add that to the thread of things that Deku could crush with his thighs later.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #3: Them thighs. [A photo of Deku at the third year sports festival, choking Sero out with his thighs.]
He should add that to the thread of things that Deku could crush with his thighs later.
He kept searching through his pics, and found one that had nearly *taken him out* when he'd seen it in person.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #4: He strong [A photo of Deku picking up a car as though it were a fucking couch cushion]
Seriously, the second he'd picked it up, he'd nearly died.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #4: He strong [A photo of Deku picking up a car as though it were a fucking couch cushion]
Seriously, the second he'd picked it up, he'd nearly died.
Scrolling. Scrolling. *Abs.* He remembered the first time he'd truly computed how shredded Deku was. He'd spent *weeks* trying to figure out when it had happened. Finally he'd just *asked.*
Dragging appliances across a beach. What the fuck.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #5 THESE ABS?! HOW?
Dragging appliances across a beach. What the fuck.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #5 THESE ABS?! HOW?
Realizing that he was going a little too deep into his thirst, he backtracked. There was so much more to like about Deku than just his body.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #7, so smart, how is he so smart and so hot [Video clip of Deku rambling about quirk theory to an overwhelmed reporter.]
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #7, so smart, how is he so smart and so hot [Video clip of Deku rambling about quirk theory to an overwhelmed reporter.]
Yeah, he had video clips too. *What about it?* Deku doing shit he couldn't do was a turn on. Like being nice to extras.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #8 so kind, so soft [A picture of Deku with two kids, kneeling between them and throwing up a peace sign with another blinding, beautiful grin]
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #8 so kind, so soft [A picture of Deku with two kids, kneeling between them and throwing up a peace sign with another blinding, beautiful grin]
[i missed one, sorry]
He couldn't help but add the photo of Deku squeezing the giant All Might plushie they'd bought him for his birthday. Mina had posted it on her Instagram, so it was fair game.
He'd been jealous of a *toy.*
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #6, look at this adorable dork
He couldn't help but add the photo of Deku squeezing the giant All Might plushie they'd bought him for his birthday. Mina had posted it on her Instagram, so it was fair game.
He'd been jealous of a *toy.*
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #6, look at this adorable dork
He'd said ten reasons. He wanted the tenth to be the serious thread. So what else could he use to prop the nerd up?
Like he said, Deku being everything he wasn't was *hot.* He had the perfect candid pics to show that.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #9, friendly af, can't relate, v admirable.
Like he said, Deku being everything he wasn't was *hot.* He had the perfect candid pics to show that.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: #9, friendly af, can't relate, v admirable.
In number 10, he dropped the link to his original thread into the tenth tweet. Hopefully, after putting his unquenchable thirst on display, people would be willing to stop laughing at him long enough to take that shit seriously.
And finally:
And finally:
@/FuckMeUpDeku: In conclusion, we should trust Deku to smash whatever or whoever he wants because he is capable as fuck and hot as hell. #LetDekuSmash
He read through the thread again. Was he really gonna do this?
It was an anonymous thirst account. What could go wrong?
He read through the thread again. Was he really gonna do this?
It was an anonymous thirst account. What could go wrong?
He hit "Tweet All," then posted the link to the thread under the HeroStar tweet. Then under a few of the extra-shitty replies.
He had a fucking point to make, okay?
But maybe he'd gotten a little too enthusiastic about it because he found out *exactly* what could go wrong.
He had a fucking point to make, okay?
But maybe he'd gotten a little too enthusiastic about it because he found out *exactly* what could go wrong.
Mina. Fucking. Ashido.
She found it *freakishly* fast, and of *course* she'd fuckin' retweeted it. Had she even read the whole thing?
He watched in horror as his notifications went through the fucking *roof.*
He tried not to be too unsettled. This is what he'd wanted, right?
She found it *freakishly* fast, and of *course* she'd fuckin' retweeted it. Had she even read the whole thing?
He watched in horror as his notifications went through the fucking *roof.*
He tried not to be too unsettled. This is what he'd wanted, right?
-
-
-
tbc! gonna draft more and come back. if you're enjoying, sharing and tipping are both appreciated! ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
-
-
tbc! gonna draft more and come back. if you're enjoying, sharing and tipping are both appreciated! ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
#LetDekuSmash was trending.
It was *trending.* It had been less than an hour, and there were already *so many* tweets in the tag. He couldn't keep up with them.
Well...that might be because he'd spent a *completely reasonable* amount of time looking at the attached photos.
It was *trending.* It had been less than an hour, and there were already *so many* tweets in the tag. He couldn't keep up with them.
Well...that might be because he'd spent a *completely reasonable* amount of time looking at the attached photos.
He tried not to smart too hard at some of the replies, especially under #9. There were shit tons of people who had apparently taken it to mean that he was ill-suited to be Deku's hero partner.
And they *agreed.*
Frankly, so did he. Deku would have to spend half his time—
And they *agreed.*
Frankly, so did he. Deku would have to spend half his time—
battling public perception if he took Katsuki as his partner. Deku deserved better.
Katsuki was greedy though, so if it was a possibility, he'd be the best fucking partner his nerd could ask for.
His other sticking point was that now that he'd pointed it out,—
Katsuki was greedy though, so if it was a possibility, he'd be the best fucking partner his nerd could ask for.
His other sticking point was that now that he'd pointed it out,—
people were *realizing* how hot and *good* the nerd was.
He couldn't decide if that was a good or a bad thing. On the one hand, that's what he'd been trying to do.
On the *other fucking hand,* there were all kinds of shitty extras tagging him in their thirst-trappy pics.
He couldn't decide if that was a good or a bad thing. On the one hand, that's what he'd been trying to do.
On the *other fucking hand,* there were all kinds of shitty extras tagging him in their thirst-trappy pics.
So he'd hit the nail on the head and he was pretty proud of that, but this was some bullshit.
Was that the crazy analysis quirk chick from the provisional licensing exam?
*Fuck,* they would be perfect together. Nerd love for the ages. Fuck fuck fuck.
Was that the crazy analysis quirk chick from the provisional licensing exam?
*Fuck,* they would be perfect together. Nerd love for the ages. Fuck fuck fuck.
He pinned the thread to the top of his profile. It might be rapidly becoming the bane of his existence, but it was a damn good thread to land on to get an accurate look at what went on in this account.
Since everyone was suddenly looking.
Then he went back to dread-scrolling.
Since everyone was suddenly looking.
Then he went back to dread-scrolling.
The mentions and likes and retweets were pouring in, but he ignored them in favor of perusing the hashtag and letting himself spiral in the #9 QRTs.
There was nothing like a healthy reality check and a social media circus to get you going on a Saturday morning.
There was nothing like a healthy reality check and a social media circus to get you going on a Saturday morning.
Then, it happened. Right there, under #10.
@/DekuCanDoIt: Thanks for the support and all the compliments! Your analysis was amazing, and you really came to my rescue. You're my hero! 🤩
He stared at it, blinking in shock as though he'd been slapped in the face.
@/DekuCanDoIt: Thanks for the support and all the compliments! Your analysis was amazing, and you really came to my rescue. You're my hero! 🤩
He stared at it, blinking in shock as though he'd been slapped in the face.
He could see the number next to the little retweet icon tick upward at a dizzying pace. His stomach clenched.
*You're my hero.*
This level of utter adoration should be illegal. Fuck. He was fucking blushing.
He turned his phone on silent and stormed out of the room.
*You're my hero.*
This level of utter adoration should be illegal. Fuck. He was fucking blushing.
He turned his phone on silent and stormed out of the room.
What the fuck was that nerd thinking? He said he was gonna lie low! That's why Katsuki had done this shit in the first place.
"Can't stay out of trouble for five fuckin' minutes," he snapped when he got to the common room. Deku looked flustered, and it was fucking adorable.
"Can't stay out of trouble for five fuckin' minutes," he snapped when he got to the common room. Deku looked flustered, and it was fucking adorable.
"C'mon, dork, we're training," he growled, grabbing Deku's hood and dragging him toward the door and away from the shit show.
"I thought we were gonna train after lunch," he replied, totally unfazed by being hauled around by the neck.
"I thought we were gonna train after lunch," he replied, totally unfazed by being hauled around by the neck.
"Yeah, well now I gotta keep your nerd ass off Twitter," he replied, irritated that he'd managed to make shit more complicated for Deku because he'd somehow forgotten how fucking *nice* the nerd was. "You just *had* to respond to it, didn't you?"
"I appreciate the analysis!"
"I appreciate the analysis!"
He scoffed. "Yeah, and the other shit didn't compute? Bullshit," he snapped. The entire internet was talking about his *ass.* There was a hashtag about it.
"I mean that stuff was nice, but it's kinda weird," he said. Katsuki's winced. His specialty: making Deku uncomfortable.
"I mean that stuff was nice, but it's kinda weird," he said. Katsuki's winced. His specialty: making Deku uncomfortable.
"The analysis was super thoughtful and—"
Oh, fuck. Deku liked his analysis. Katsuki was blushing furiously, and by the way Deku had cut off, he'd noticed. Fuck. He had to find a way to—
"It was just nice to see that someone didn't think I was a fuck up," Deku muttered.
Oh, fuck. Deku liked his analysis. Katsuki was blushing furiously, and by the way Deku had cut off, he'd noticed. Fuck. He had to find a way to—
"It was just nice to see that someone didn't think I was a fuck up," Deku muttered.
Fuck no. He was gonna slap the *shit* out of the love of his life. Fuck this.
"Hey idiot," Katsuki snapped, dropping the nerd's hood and turning to tower over him. Well, only three inches over him, but *still.* "If I thought you were a fuck up, would I waste my time on you?"
"Hey idiot," Katsuki snapped, dropping the nerd's hood and turning to tower over him. Well, only three inches over him, but *still.* "If I thought you were a fuck up, would I waste my time on you?"
Deku's eyes widened and his (perfect, kissable) mouth dropped open and Katsuki *relished* the ability to shock him after all this time. "Uh...n-no?"
"Fuckin' *right,*" he barked. "Don't listen to shitheads who don't even bother to research hero stats without considering—
"Fuckin' *right,*" he barked. "Don't listen to shitheads who don't even bother to research hero stats without considering—
category variation. That shitty analysis had you lumped in with fuckin' *rural rescue heroes*, of *course* you had higher property damage stats," he sneered. "Fuckin' ridiculous."
Then, to his *horror*, Deku burst into tears. Not exactly unusual but he hadn't meant to upset him!
Then, to his *horror*, Deku burst into tears. Not exactly unusual but he hadn't meant to upset him!
"Thanks, K-Kacchan," he sniffed, folding in on himself.
Katsuki sagged in relief. Overwhelmed, flattered nerd is something he could deal with. Barely, but definitely better than sad nerd. "Such a goddamn crybaby, what the hell," he muttered. "The entire fucking class thinks—
Katsuki sagged in relief. Overwhelmed, flattered nerd is something he could deal with. Barely, but definitely better than sad nerd. "Such a goddamn crybaby, what the hell," he muttered. "The entire fucking class thinks—
you shit sunshine. You're one of the Big Three, of *course* you're not a fuck up," he sighed. "You're still an idiot, but don't let some useless nobody—who's probably bitter they never did anything useful with their lives—shit on you. Stand up for yourself, fucker. There—
won't always be someone to do it for you," he instructed irritably. This asshole was making him ride an emotional rollercoaster and he was fuckin' done with it. At least for today.
"Got it," Deku sniffed, stemming his tears with his sleeves, still hiding his face.
"Got it," Deku sniffed, stemming his tears with his sleeves, still hiding his face.
"Whatever. Let's fuckin' go. You need time away from the internet. I don't think you realized what kind of hell you raised by retweeting that shit," Katsuki snapped, turning on his heel to stalk away.
He knew Deku would follow him. At least for now.
He knew Deku would follow him. At least for now.
-
-
-
part 5
---
It got worse before it got better. In fact, on Tuesday, he saw his whole-ass life flash before his eyes.
First, he'd his phone on silent. That way, no one would notice how many notifications he was getting. He was still paranoid though, so just for—
-
-
part 5
---
It got worse before it got better. In fact, on Tuesday, he saw his whole-ass life flash before his eyes.
First, he'd his phone on silent. That way, no one would notice how many notifications he was getting. He was still paranoid though, so just for—
good measure, he made sure that his lock screen notifications were turned off. Comforted by that, his attention turned to Deku.
In fact, he was so distracted by watching Deku get overwhelmed by appreciation—both physical and analytical—that he'd forgotten one *minor* issue.
In fact, he was so distracted by watching Deku get overwhelmed by appreciation—both physical and analytical—that he'd forgotten one *minor* issue.
Denki.
Okay, so it was a major issue. In fact, it wasn't just a major issue, it was a major *problem.* And he'd just...neglected to take him and his hunger for chaos into account.
Like a fucking idiot.
So there they were, hanging out while Katsuki cooked, when he heard—
Okay, so it was a major issue. In fact, it wasn't just a major issue, it was a major *problem.* And he'd just...neglected to take him and his hunger for chaos into account.
Like a fucking idiot.
So there they were, hanging out while Katsuki cooked, when he heard—
the most dramatic gasp ever.
He turned to Denki and Eijirou, eyebrows raised. Then, all at once, his stomach turned to lead, his blood turned to ice, and his body turned to stone.
Oh, *fuck.* Denki had figured out his passcode.
"Dude," Denki breathed, shocked and awed.
He turned to Denki and Eijirou, eyebrows raised. Then, all at once, his stomach turned to lead, his blood turned to ice, and his body turned to stone.
Oh, *fuck.* Denki had figured out his passcode.
"Dude," Denki breathed, shocked and awed.
"What the fuck are you doing," he hissed, eyes wide.
"*Dude!*" he yelped. Eijirou was staring at him wide eyed. Fuck.
"Shut up. Shut the fuck up right now," he warned.
"You're—"
"I *said,* shut the fuck up!"
"Bro," Eijirou squeaked. *Squeaked.* Like a fuckin' mouse.
"*Dude!*" he yelped. Eijirou was staring at him wide eyed. Fuck.
"Shut up. Shut the fuck up right now," he warned.
"You're—"
"I *said,* shut the fuck up!"
"Bro," Eijirou squeaked. *Squeaked.* Like a fuckin' mouse.
Katsuki's breathing was coming out a little too fast. He might be hyperventilating. Their shock and awe turned to concern *real fast.*
"Yo, are you okay?" Denki asked, dropping the phone and crowding in.
"You can't ever leave shit alone," Katsuki snapped, lashing out at him.
"Yo, are you okay?" Denki asked, dropping the phone and crowding in.
"You can't ever leave shit alone," Katsuki snapped, lashing out at him.
"Dude, sorry, we were just gonna change your phone language," Denki said, a little panicked. "You gotta breathe, man."
"Yeah, it's not that big a deal," Eijirou attempted to assure him. "So what if you're—"
"*Shut. Up,*" he hissed. Eijirou mimed zipping his mouth shut. *Good.*
"Yeah, it's not that big a deal," Eijirou attempted to assure him. "So what if you're—"
"*Shut. Up,*" he hissed. Eijirou mimed zipping his mouth shut. *Good.*
"Forget the fact that I fucking *told you* to leave my fucking phone alone," he snapped, breath still coming short as he panicked. "Whatever the fuck you just saw was *not your fucking business!*"
"We really didn't mean—"
"You *never fucking mean shit,* dumbass!" he yelled.
"We really didn't mean—"
"You *never fucking mean shit,* dumbass!" he yelled.
"Is everything okay in here?"
They froze, whipping toward the door. Deku. And Mina, Uraraka, and Jirou. But Deku is the one who'd asked.
"We're fuckin' fine," he snapped furiously. "The fucking phone charger just has some boundary issues."
They froze, whipping toward the door. Deku. And Mina, Uraraka, and Jirou. But Deku is the one who'd asked.
"We're fuckin' fine," he snapped furiously. "The fucking phone charger just has some boundary issues."
Deku frowned at Denki. "Didn't he tell you to stop messing with his phone already? It's really invasive, Denki."
Despite his bone-deep irritation and utter panic, his heart still managed to flutter at that. Adorable asshole looking out for him.
"My bad," Denki agreed, shaken.
Despite his bone-deep irritation and utter panic, his heart still managed to flutter at that. Adorable asshole looking out for him.
"My bad," Denki agreed, shaken.
He was still pissed, but he's glad the idiot had enough common sense to not spill about what he'd seen.
"Just don't fuckin' do it again," Katsuki snapped.
He knew that was too much to ask for. Denki had the memory of a fucking fish. But he could fucking *try.*
"Just don't fuckin' do it again," Katsuki snapped.
He knew that was too much to ask for. Denki had the memory of a fucking fish. But he could fucking *try.*
"Are you sure you're okay?" Deku asked. Katsuki gave him a rough nod. "Okay," he said hesitantly, giving Katsuki a meaningful look. He assumed it meant 'you should tell me if they do it again.'
He would *not,* but it was a nice sentiment. "Get outta here, nerd."
He would *not,* but it was a nice sentiment. "Get outta here, nerd."
As soon as Deku and his tagalongs were out of sight, he turned his glare back on his friends.
"We are *so sorry,* dude," Eijirou breathed.
"It *is* a big deal," he snapped. "Invading my privacy is a huge fucking deal—"
"That's not what I meant!" Eijirou backtracked.
"We are *so sorry,* dude," Eijirou breathed.
"It *is* a big deal," he snapped. "Invading my privacy is a huge fucking deal—"
"That's not what I meant!" Eijirou backtracked.
"Then what did you mean, dickhead?"
"I meant that the *thing we saw* wasn't a big deal," he insisted, eyes darting to the door. Ah, he was making sure Jirou wasn't eavesdropping. Smart.
"Yeah, dude, I feel super bad for the phone thing," Denki placated. "But the other thing—"
"I meant that the *thing we saw* wasn't a big deal," he insisted, eyes darting to the door. Ah, he was making sure Jirou wasn't eavesdropping. Smart.
"Yeah, dude, I feel super bad for the phone thing," Denki placated. "But the other thing—"
"Would you shut the fuck up about that?"
"Yeah, dude," Denki agreed immediately. "Just...remember, we offered to be your wingmen," he shrugged. "Now that we know, we could use it to help?" he suggested hesitantly.
Katsuki squinted at him. It looked like his glare increased.
"Yeah, dude," Denki agreed immediately. "Just...remember, we offered to be your wingmen," he shrugged. "Now that we know, we could use it to help?" he suggested hesitantly.
Katsuki squinted at him. It looked like his glare increased.
They both shrank back. *Good.*
"I'll fuckin' think about it. But in the meantime, *don't touch my shit without asking, assholes,*" he snapped.
"You got it," Eijirou replied, nodding before he'd even finished the sentence.
"Yeah, dude, I swear," Denki agreed.
"I'll fuckin' think about it. But in the meantime, *don't touch my shit without asking, assholes,*" he snapped.
"You got it," Eijirou replied, nodding before he'd even finished the sentence.
"Yeah, dude, I swear," Denki agreed.
"Fine. Now make your own fuckin' dinner," he said, throwing the spatula at Denki's face, pleased when it smacked him in the forehead with a satisfying *thwack.*
He moved to storm away. "Wait, are we allowed to ask questions?" Eijirou asked. He froze at Katsuki's glacial glare.
He moved to storm away. "Wait, are we allowed to ask questions?" Eijirou asked. He froze at Katsuki's glacial glare.
"No."
"Yeah, nevermind. You...you fill us in if you feel like it, man."
"That's what I fuckin' thought," he sneered, stalking out of the kitchen.
He smirked maliciously when he heard Denki say: "So, do you want scrambled eggs or cereal for dinner?"
Serves them fuckin' right.
"Yeah, nevermind. You...you fill us in if you feel like it, man."
"That's what I fuckin' thought," he sneered, stalking out of the kitchen.
He smirked maliciously when he heard Denki say: "So, do you want scrambled eggs or cereal for dinner?"
Serves them fuckin' right.
-
-
-
tbc! quick break for drafting. if you're having a good time or you wanna smack denki, consider leaving a tip! (if you subscribe to my patreon tip jar, you can vote on the next thread!)
patreon.com/queenswagzilla
ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
-
-
tbc! quick break for drafting. if you're having a good time or you wanna smack denki, consider leaving a tip! (if you subscribe to my patreon tip jar, you can vote on the next thread!)
patreon.com/queenswagzilla
ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
He hadn't used @/FuckMeUpDeku all week. He was lying low.
Partially because he couldn't really deal with putting what he was thinking on blast now that his two closest friends knew it was him. It was fuckin' mortifying.
Finally, Eijirou gathered the courage to—
Partially because he couldn't really deal with putting what he was thinking on blast now that his two closest friends knew it was him. It was fuckin' mortifying.
Finally, Eijirou gathered the courage to—
talk to him about it, showing up to his room right before he went to bed.
"You don't feel comfortable talking about this stuff in person," he said.
"Thanks for pointing that out, I had no fuckin' idea," Katsuki snarled, trying to shut the door in his face.
"You don't feel comfortable talking about this stuff in person," he said.
"Thanks for pointing that out, I had no fuckin' idea," Katsuki snarled, trying to shut the door in his face.
He blocked the door. "I'm not trying to corner you or anything," he promised. "But—"
"Fuck, if you're gonna talk about this come inside, asshole," he said, swinging the door open. Eijirou shuffled inside, waiting until the door was firmly closed. "You have five minutes."
"Fuck, if you're gonna talk about this come inside, asshole," he said, swinging the door open. Eijirou shuffled inside, waiting until the door was firmly closed. "You have five minutes."
"Denki and I are sorry," he began.
"Yeah, you said that. But I don't fuckin' see Denki, do you?"
"Yeah, we figured a two-on-one would have felt like ganging up on you. We both agreed that I'm less irritating."
"Got that right at least," he grumbled, flopping onto the bed.
"Yeah, you said that. But I don't fuckin' see Denki, do you?"
"Yeah, we figured a two-on-one would have felt like ganging up on you. We both agreed that I'm less irritating."
"Got that right at least," he grumbled, flopping onto the bed.
"But if you're not using your side account anymore because of us, that sucks. You clearly had a lot to get out, and if you're not gonna talk to us then you should keep using it," he insisted.
"You know every ridiculous thing that's been in my head about Deku since first year."
"You know every ridiculous thing that's been in my head about Deku since first year."
"You like him dude! I tell you that shit out loud when I'm into someone," Eijirou cried. "Our opinion of you won't change just because you're a little thirsty! We totally get it man, Mido's a snack!"
Katuski cut him a glare. "Fuck you." Eijirou rolled his eyes.
Katuski cut him a glare. "Fuck you." Eijirou rolled his eyes.
"Not like that, dude. It's an objective fact. Look, I'm just saying, that was clearly an outlet for you and we're both worried that you've just...stopped. You were posting like every day before this shitshow went down—"
"I didn't stop because of you, I stopped because it was—
"I didn't stop because of you, I stopped because it was—
blowing the fuck up," he barked.
"But you still stopped! Look, I'm just...I wanna know if you're okay. Or if you wanna talk or *something.*"
"I don't wanna fuckin' talk."
"I figured. So what are you gonna do?"
"Dunno."
Eijirou eyed him. "Well, if you're open to ideas,—
"But you still stopped! Look, I'm just...I wanna know if you're okay. Or if you wanna talk or *something.*"
"I don't wanna fuckin' talk."
"I figured. So what are you gonna do?"
"Dunno."
Eijirou eyed him. "Well, if you're open to ideas,—
Denki had one."
"Oh great. Another *idea* from Zapdos the dunderbird."
Eijirou snorted. "Yeah, I know dude, but this one actually isn't bad. That account has a lot of potential, man. You can say what you feel, and make Mido feel good about himself. Then when you're ready—"
"Oh great. Another *idea* from Zapdos the dunderbird."
Eijirou snorted. "Yeah, I know dude, but this one actually isn't bad. That account has a lot of potential, man. You can say what you feel, and make Mido feel good about himself. Then when you're ready—"
"I can what, tell him it was me?" he scoffed.
"Yeah," Eijirou agreed, completely serious.
"I would literally rather stick my throat closed with one of Grape Sack's sticky balls and suffocate," he said seriously.
"Gross and dramatic," he laughed. "Even if you don't do that—
"Yeah," Eijirou agreed, completely serious.
"I would literally rather stick my throat closed with one of Grape Sack's sticky balls and suffocate," he said seriously.
"Gross and dramatic," he laughed. "Even if you don't do that—
I personally think you should keep going. Hey, it'll be like talking to us about it without having to look us in the eye!"
And that...had some potential as a thought with value. It's not like he *wanted* to keep this shit from his friends. But the thought of—
And that...had some potential as a thought with value. It's not like he *wanted* to keep this shit from his friends. But the thought of—
talking about it out loud made him want to low-key die.
"That's not the worst idea," he allowed hesitantly.
"If you want, I can give you motivation," he offered slyly.
"Why are you so fuckin' bent on this?"
"That's not the worst idea," he allowed hesitantly.
"If you want, I can give you motivation," he offered slyly.
"Why are you so fuckin' bent on this?"
"Dude, you need to vent. That's how you do everything. It can't be good that you're holding it in."
He was serious. Fuck this guy for caring so much.
Katsuki eyed him. "What motivation?"
Kirishima grinned widely, shark teeth gleaming. "I'm so glad you asked," he said—
He was serious. Fuck this guy for caring so much.
Katsuki eyed him. "What motivation?"
Kirishima grinned widely, shark teeth gleaming. "I'm so glad you asked," he said—
fishing his phone out of his pocket. He fiddled with it for a sec before tossing it to Katsuki.
Good. Fucking. God.
Smiling *and* abs? What had he done to deserve this? Maybe he'd given Jesus a blowjob in a past life. Did that count as a good deed or a bad one?
"Holy shit."
Good. Fucking. God.
Smiling *and* abs? What had he done to deserve this? Maybe he'd given Jesus a blowjob in a past life. Did that count as a good deed or a bad one?
"Holy shit."
"And not to be too creepy about feeding your thirst, but we can totally help you get more. I mean, now that we know—"
"Please god, don't finish that sentence," Katsuki uttered, still staring at Deku—abs flexed as he smiled at someone off screen.
"...Is that a no?"
"Please god, don't finish that sentence," Katsuki uttered, still staring at Deku—abs flexed as he smiled at someone off screen.
"...Is that a no?"
Katsuki groaned. "I'm going to hell," he replied.
"It's in the name of love," Eijirou refuted. "I'm sure the nameless greater power of morality will forgive you."
"If you're wrong, I'm haunting you."
Eijirou snorted. "You were gonna do that anyway."
He wasn't wrong.
"It's in the name of love," Eijirou refuted. "I'm sure the nameless greater power of morality will forgive you."
"If you're wrong, I'm haunting you."
Eijirou snorted. "You were gonna do that anyway."
He wasn't wrong.
-
-
-
Denki's (moronic, brilliant, underhanded) plan went into effect at lunch the next day. Compared to Denki's past plans, it was pretty benign and straightforward.
Katsuki was almost impressed.
First, Katsuki had to reply to his *20 thousand* new followers.
-
-
Denki's (moronic, brilliant, underhanded) plan went into effect at lunch the next day. Compared to Denki's past plans, it was pretty benign and straightforward.
Katsuki was almost impressed.
First, Katsuki had to reply to his *20 thousand* new followers.
When Deku entered the cafeteria, it began.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I'm glad you're all finally opening your goddamn eyes about how fuckin stacked my man is. Notice I said 'my man.' I'll fight u for him, and I *will* win.
Deku blushed, and Katsuki felt a fist tighten around his heart.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I'm glad you're all finally opening your goddamn eyes about how fuckin stacked my man is. Notice I said 'my man.' I'll fight u for him, and I *will* win.
Deku blushed, and Katsuki felt a fist tighten around his heart.
The second tweet was the shirtless picture from the night before. He warned Denki right before he sent it.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: See here's the fckin thing, do I want him to fuck *me*? Or do I wanna fuck *him*?? Like smash me daddy but also come here bb boy
@/FuckMeUpDeku: See here's the fckin thing, do I want him to fuck *me*? Or do I wanna fuck *him*?? Like smash me daddy but also come here bb boy
Deku fumbled his phone, and tripped on his own feet in his attempt to grab it—face-planting on the ground.
Floaty helped him up leading him forward and talking to him quietly as he blushed deeper and deeper.
Then he tweeted one last thing.
Floaty helped him up leading him forward and talking to him quietly as he blushed deeper and deeper.
Then he tweeted one last thing.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: Deku, if you're reading this, sorry for making your ass go viral. Also, you're perfect, thx for making me gay.
Then, Denki snapped a photo of Deku's blush. But the idiot didn't turn his sound off.
Deku blinked at him. "Why."
"You'll see."
"No, tell me."
Then, Denki snapped a photo of Deku's blush. But the idiot didn't turn his sound off.
Deku blinked at him. "Why."
"You'll see."
"No, tell me."
Denki wouldn't tell him. Katsuki could practically hear him weighing his options.
"...No."
Deku and Denki stared at each other. Then Denki bolted, screeching for Eijirou to block for him over his shoulder.
Katsuki's phone was already open to Twitter when Denki QRTed.
"...No."
Deku and Denki stared at each other. Then Denki bolted, screeching for Eijirou to block for him over his shoulder.
Katsuki's phone was already open to Twitter when Denki QRTed.
@: Chargebolt: Look at that blush. Pretty sure he's not mad abt it 😏
Deku blushed even harder. He looked like a strawberry. Katsuki wanted to eat him.
There was something seriously wrong with him. He QRTed Denki's tweet anyway.
Deku blushed even harder. He looked like a strawberry. Katsuki wanted to eat him.
There was something seriously wrong with him. He QRTed Denki's tweet anyway.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: Adorable fuck how is he this fucking cute I hate everything. I want to kiss him in the moonlight.
"God has forsaken me," Deku mumbled as he took Denki's empty seat. He started tilting forward and Katsuki grabbed him by the collar before his face hit his soup.
"God has forsaken me," Deku mumbled as he took Denki's empty seat. He started tilting forward and Katsuki grabbed him by the collar before his face hit his soup.
He hadn't even needed to take his eyes off the screen. Honestly, he was pretty impressed with himself. He angled his phone away when Deku glanced over. "Just let me drown, Kacchan."
"Don't be dramatic, nerd. You don't see me trying to blow myself up when people say they want to—
"Don't be dramatic, nerd. You don't see me trying to blow myself up when people say they want to—
suffocate in my pecs. That's way worse."
Deku was silent for a moment. Then:
"At least those people have taste," he said, *quiet and wistful.* Katsuki dropped his phone in shock, whipping around to stare at Deku. What the fuck?
"Fuckin' *what?*" Katsuki yelped.
Deku was silent for a moment. Then:
"At least those people have taste," he said, *quiet and wistful.* Katsuki dropped his phone in shock, whipping around to stare at Deku. What the fuck?
"Fuckin' *what?*" Katsuki yelped.
Floaty and Eijirou broke down laughing so hard that they attracted the attention of most of the cafeteria.
But Katsuki's attention was fixed on Deku, who was now sputtering incoherently and flailing like a fuckin' windmill.
Holy shit. Was Deku...attracted to him?
No way.
But Katsuki's attention was fixed on Deku, who was now sputtering incoherently and flailing like a fuckin' windmill.
Holy shit. Was Deku...attracted to him?
No way.
-
-
-
tbc tomorrow! if you're vibing, laughing, or wondering why I'm like this, comments and tips are massively appreciated! ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
-
-
tbc tomorrow! if you're vibing, laughing, or wondering why I'm like this, comments and tips are massively appreciated! ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
-
-
-
part 6
---
Katsuki was glad he wasn't on patrol with Deku today.
He was too distracted.
Deku wanted to suffocate in his pecs? Deku thought he was attractive? Since *when*?
His head was spinning, and his phone was blowing up.
-
-
part 6
---
Katsuki was glad he wasn't on patrol with Deku today.
He was too distracted.
Deku wanted to suffocate in his pecs? Deku thought he was attractive? Since *when*?
His head was spinning, and his phone was blowing up.
It was the first time that Deku had been on patrol since the initial storm, and he had been *blessed.*
He knew it must be super weird for Deku, but the good citizens they swore to protect had deigned to feed his craving to see Deku as much as possible, tagging him in every pic.
He knew it must be super weird for Deku, but the good citizens they swore to protect had deigned to feed his craving to see Deku as much as possible, tagging him in every pic.
He felt way less guilty about it now that it looked like *Deku actually wanted him back.* Like honestly, what the fuck? Since when? *Why?*
His beautiful broccoli-bunny hybrid must have a masochistic streak a mile wide if he had even a drop of attraction for Katuski.
His beautiful broccoli-bunny hybrid must have a masochistic streak a mile wide if he had even a drop of attraction for Katuski.
But god, if it was true *he'd take it.*
He got another notification then—the @/FightTracker account. Deku was in pursuit and it was streaming live.
Someone knocked on his door. "Come in!" he barked, pulling up the live stream on his laptop.
"Yo, Mido's kicking ass—"
He got another notification then—the @/FightTracker account. Deku was in pursuit and it was streaming live.
Someone knocked on his door. "Come in!" he barked, pulling up the live stream on his laptop.
"Yo, Mido's kicking ass—"
"Watching it now, Shitty Hair," he replied absently without taking his eyes from the screen.
"There's something different about it today, did you notice?" Denki asked, excited.
"I just started watching, what are you talking about?" he asked, intrigued. He turned to find—
"There's something different about it today, did you notice?" Denki asked, excited.
"I just started watching, what are you talking about?" he asked, intrigued. He turned to find—
*all* of his friends in the room. Mina, Denki, Eijirou, Kyoka and Hanta were all gathered in the doorway. "The fuck are you just standing in the door for? Fuckin' weirdos," he snapped.
They took that as invitation and crowded into his room, taking up various seats.
They took that as invitation and crowded into his room, taking up various seats.
"He started out eagle-eyeing," Kyoka explained, making herself comfortable on the bed. "Then he did this thing where he tested the villain's quirk before he jumped in—"
"He dropped something into the villain's path to see how his quirk worked, I think," Mina continued.
"He dropped something into the villain's path to see how his quirk worked, I think," Mina continued.
Katsuki grinned wildly. The nerd was learning to think before he acted, and that was literally all he'd wanted for nearly a decade.
He swiped his phone open to see what Twitter was saying. It was mostly about Deku's body, and while he didn't disagree with them, he wanted—
He swiped his phone open to see what Twitter was saying. It was mostly about Deku's body, and while he didn't disagree with them, he wanted—
them to focus on the matter at hand.
The photos before the pursuit had mostly been long-distance shots. In the few that actually captured his face, his smile had been awkward and a little panicked. Patrol must have been filled with awkward comments.
The photos before the pursuit had mostly been long-distance shots. In the few that actually captured his face, his smile had been awkward and a little panicked. Patrol must have been filled with awkward comments.
But now, the photos were *captivating*—Deku in all his glory: each determined movement outlined in a striking pose.
Fuck, he loved him.
"Dude, he just knocked that car out of the way—" Denki said, pointing at the screen excitedly. Katsuki glanced at it, watching in utter—
Fuck, he loved him.
"Dude, he just knocked that car out of the way—" Denki said, pointing at the screen excitedly. Katsuki glanced at it, watching in utter—
adoration as he checked in on a civilian family.
He prioritized rescue this time around, smashing objects out of the way as they hurtled toward onlookers. At this rate (even if he was pleased with the general progress), he'd never catch the villain before he ran out of stamina.
He prioritized rescue this time around, smashing objects out of the way as they hurtled toward onlookers. At this rate (even if he was pleased with the general progress), he'd never catch the villain before he ran out of stamina.
Then fucking *Lemillion* showed up, and Deku looked so fucking grateful that Katsuki wanted to blow the asshole up. The blonde one. He couldn't harm the green one. Unless it was in training.
"Mirio just gets cooler every time I see him," Kyoka said.
"What the fuck ever."
"Mirio just gets cooler every time I see him," Kyoka said.
"What the fuck ever."
"Relax, he's dating Amajiki," she said. Katsuki could *hear* her eye-roll without looking at her.
"*Thick thighs save lives, Deku!*"
Mirio had yelled that loud enough for the reporting crew to hear it as Deku zoomed away.
"Okay, before you blow up, he's *obviously* making—
"*Thick thighs save lives, Deku!*"
Mirio had yelled that loud enough for the reporting crew to hear it as Deku zoomed away.
"Okay, before you blow up, he's *obviously* making—
fun of him for the thirst account," Mina said placatingly.
"Whatever," he grumbled. "Fight's over, clear the fuck out unless you need help with homework or something. I'm fuckin' busy."
"Alright dude, just don't plot Mirio's murder," Kyoka chuckled, standing to leave.
"Whatever," he grumbled. "Fight's over, clear the fuck out unless you need help with homework or something. I'm fuckin' busy."
"Alright dude, just don't plot Mirio's murder," Kyoka chuckled, standing to leave.
"Can I come back later? I promised Shoji I'd spar with him, but I need help with—"
"Do whatever the fuck you want, Tapeface," Katsuki replied. "Gonna train at nine, though."
He no longer maintained an old-man bedtime. Training at night meant he had more energy during the day.
"Do whatever the fuck you want, Tapeface," Katsuki replied. "Gonna train at nine, though."
He no longer maintained an old-man bedtime. Training at night meant he had more energy during the day.
"Thanks dude!" he said, following Kyoka out. Mina trailed behind him.
Katsuki eyed the terrible troublemakers. "How can I fucking help you?"
"I can't speak English," Eijirou replied seriously. Katsuki rolled his eyes.
"Just say you want to practice for the oral exams," he—
Katsuki eyed the terrible troublemakers. "How can I fucking help you?"
"I can't speak English," Eijirou replied seriously. Katsuki rolled his eyes.
"Just say you want to practice for the oral exams," he—
said in nearly flawless English.
"I *can't,* that's the problem," he argued.
"Sucks to suck, dude," Denki said. He was *proudly* the best in their English class. Fuck him.
"What about you then?"
"Calculus."
"As fuckin' usual," Katsuki grumbled.
They worked until—
"I *can't,* that's the problem," he argued.
"Sucks to suck, dude," Denki said. He was *proudly* the best in their English class. Fuck him.
"What about you then?"
"Calculus."
"As fuckin' usual," Katsuki grumbled.
They worked until—
Katsuki's phone pinged. All three sets of eyes fell to the phone. "Want us to go?" Denki offered, hesitant.
"Now that you know, I don't give a shit," he muttered. There was a moment of silence. "But uh...thanks for offering."
"Sure, dude," Denki said, still hesitant.
"Now that you know, I don't give a shit," he muttered. There was a moment of silence. "But uh...thanks for offering."
"Sure, dude," Denki said, still hesitant.
Katsuki swiped the notification and felt his heart strangle him, jumping to sit right in his airway.
Someone had tagged him in another user's photo—a kindness that so many people had been affording him lately.
Sometimes he wondered if they'd do that if they knew who he was.
Someone had tagged him in another user's photo—a kindness that so many people had been affording him lately.
Sometimes he wondered if they'd do that if they knew who he was.
@/EmiDontPlay: @/DekuCanDoIt saved us from a car *and* took a photo with my kids! I can't believe he thinks that @/GEMGDynamight's out of his league 😭😭 precious child
>> @/MiracleScone: what are u talking abt
That was a damn good question.
>> @/MiracleScone: what are u talking abt
That was a damn good question.
>>@/EmiDontPlay: he said Dynamight is his hero and that he's flattered that ppl think he's in his league 🥺
Katsuki made a gargling death-rattle kind of noise that alarmed both of his current companions a completely reasonable amount.
"Are you okay?" Eijirou asked, standing—
Katsuki made a gargling death-rattle kind of noise that alarmed both of his current companions a completely reasonable amount.
"Are you okay?" Eijirou asked, standing—
to approach, only to be hit in the face with the phone. "Uh—"
"Look at it," he hissed, burying his face in his hands as he went bright red.
Denki grimaced. "We both just promised to stop invading your privacy—"
"You're not invading, you have fucking permission," he whined.
"Look at it," he hissed, burying his face in his hands as he went bright red.
Denki grimaced. "We both just promised to stop invading your privacy—"
"You're not invading, you have fucking permission," he whined.
"Are you sure?"
"I hereby don't give a *shit* what you see now that you know, okay? Just don't make eye contact when I'm like this and we'll figure it out or whatever, but *look at that adorable motherfucker!* How am I supposed to talk to him when he's like this?" he demanded.
"I hereby don't give a *shit* what you see now that you know, okay? Just don't make eye contact when I'm like this and we'll figure it out or whatever, but *look at that adorable motherfucker!* How am I supposed to talk to him when he's like this?" he demanded.
Eijirou *finally* looked at the screen. "Dude, he's definitely into you," he said. "If he wasn't, there's no way he would have phrased it like this. Out of his league?"
"That's totally dating speak," Denki agreed. Katuki's head popped up to glare at him.
"That's totally dating speak," Denki agreed. Katuki's head popped up to glare at him.
"Hear us out, dude! If it wasn't at least a little romantic, he'd have said like...'I'm honored you think I'm as strong as Dynamight, he's the best in our class' or some shit," Eijirou explained.
"Like Yaomomo when she was talking about being compared to Todo!" Denki exclaimed.
"Like Yaomomo when she was talking about being compared to Todo!" Denki exclaimed.
"You shits are fucking delusional."
"He thinks people who want to suffocate in your pecs have good taste. He said that out loud," Eijirou drawled. Denki looked up at him, alarmed.
"When?!"
"When you ran away at lunch," Eijirou replied. "Look, at least flirt with him to—
"He thinks people who want to suffocate in your pecs have good taste. He said that out loud," Eijirou drawled. Denki looked up at him, alarmed.
"When?!"
"When you ran away at lunch," Eijirou replied. "Look, at least flirt with him to—
test the waters!"
"Do I look like I'd be good at flirting, asshole?" he snapped.
"It doesn't have to be normal flirting. It can be your own brand!" Denki said, clearly thrilled at where this was going.
"Fuck you. Give me my phone back," he muttered, holding his hand out.
"Do I look like I'd be good at flirting, asshole?" he snapped.
"It doesn't have to be normal flirting. It can be your own brand!" Denki said, clearly thrilled at where this was going.
"Fuck you. Give me my phone back," he muttered, holding his hand out.
Eijirou handed it back without protest. He QRTed the picture.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I suddenly understand what cis women mean when they say their ovaries exploded. I wish to continue his bloodline.
Then he expanded the photo, staring at it like it was the holy grail.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I suddenly understand what cis women mean when they say their ovaries exploded. I wish to continue his bloodline.
Then he expanded the photo, staring at it like it was the holy grail.
Then, Deku *responded.*
@/DekuCanDoIt: Not sure that's possible but thx for your support! Your analysis helped me a lot today (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ
He'd...used his analysis to kick ass today? Katsuki's stomach churned with adoration. A kaomoji? He was gonna throw up. He QRTed again.
@/DekuCanDoIt: Not sure that's possible but thx for your support! Your analysis helped me a lot today (๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ
He'd...used his analysis to kick ass today? Katsuki's stomach churned with adoration. A kaomoji? He was gonna throw up. He QRTed again.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: okay listen i am in LOVE with this adorable dweeb.
He got a reply a minute later.
@/PinkyTheeAlien: If it makes you feel any better, this happened today!
It was accompanied by a GIF of Deku's cafeteria faceplant.
He got a reply a minute later.
@/PinkyTheeAlien: If it makes you feel any better, this happened today!
It was accompanied by a GIF of Deku's cafeteria faceplant.
He responded.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: It does not, it makes me want to wrap him in bubble wrap and protect him 5ever
People were retweeting Mina's reply like crazy, and he was impressed that Deku had the self control to not reply.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: It does not, it makes me want to wrap him in bubble wrap and protect him 5ever
People were retweeting Mina's reply like crazy, and he was impressed that Deku had the self control to not reply.
He spoke too soon. His reply came when he was done patrolling.
@/DekuCanDoIt: @/PinkyTheeAlien you gosh darn TRAITOR! See if I ever make u hot chocolate ever again 😤
Mina's replied immediately.
@/PinkyTheeAlien: 😱😱😱😱 NOT MY HOT CHOCOLATE! You can't take this from me PLS
@/DekuCanDoIt: @/PinkyTheeAlien you gosh darn TRAITOR! See if I ever make u hot chocolate ever again 😤
Mina's replied immediately.
@/PinkyTheeAlien: 😱😱😱😱 NOT MY HOT CHOCOLATE! You can't take this from me PLS
@/DekuCanDoIt: No chocolate for u or anyone else who has betrayed me 😣
The most adorable threat from the most adorable broccoli. He got a notification from Denki then, and he turned to raise an eyebrow at the electric blonde.
Denki just smiled innocently.
The most adorable threat from the most adorable broccoli. He got a notification from Denki then, and he turned to raise an eyebrow at the electric blonde.
Denki just smiled innocently.
@/Chargebolt: You've got competition, buddy.
His mouth went dry. Deku mid-bench press, shirt off and muscles straining. He was so glued to the sight that he almost missed the crowd of extras in the background.
He scoffed.
He QRTed right before Deku got tagged beneath it.
His mouth went dry. Deku mid-bench press, shirt off and muscles straining. He was so glued to the sight that he almost missed the crowd of extras in the background.
He scoffed.
He QRTed right before Deku got tagged beneath it.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: First of all, I'll fight all of them any time. Second, look at him!! HE CAN LIFT SO FUCKING MUCH!! I want him so bad my dick might as well be a jump rope.
It made more sense in his head, okay? Fuck you.
It made more sense in his head, okay? Fuck you.
@/SparkPlugPrincess: Hey @/DekuCanDoIt look! @/Chargebolt betrayed you too!
@/DekuCanDoIt: CHARGEBOLT! NO XBOX FOR U!
Denki wailed.
Suddenly, all of his classmates were posting thirst-traps of Deku and tagging him in it. And embarrassment of riches.
@/DekuCanDoIt: CHARGEBOLT! NO XBOX FOR U!
Denki wailed.
Suddenly, all of his classmates were posting thirst-traps of Deku and tagging him in it. And embarrassment of riches.
He straight up choked on air like a fucking loser when he saw IcyThot's.
@/ChangeTheTemp: [photo of Deku in leggings and a muscle shirt doing the fucking *splits*] I heard you needed to see how impressive Deku is
@/DekuCanDoIt: @/ChangeTheTemp Shouto how *could* you 😭
@/ChangeTheTemp: [photo of Deku in leggings and a muscle shirt doing the fucking *splits*] I heard you needed to see how impressive Deku is
@/DekuCanDoIt: @/ChangeTheTemp Shouto how *could* you 😭
If he weren't so distracted by Deku's flexibility, he would have laughed at Todoroki's response.
@/ChangeTheTemp: I thought we were all showing your fans photos of you to make them feel better. Was I wrong?
@/DekuCanDoIt: Who told u that?
@/ChangeTheTemp: I thought we were all showing your fans photos of you to make them feel better. Was I wrong?
@/DekuCanDoIt: Who told u that?
@/ChangeTheTemp: @/Uravity said your fan was having a crisis.
Ha. Threw Cheeks directly under the bus. Probably not even on purpose.
He QRTed the photo.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: it's literally impossible to make me gayer but this picture is certainly trying
Ha. Threw Cheeks directly under the bus. Probably not even on purpose.
He QRTed the photo.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: it's literally impossible to make me gayer but this picture is certainly trying
He got a tweet notification from Deku a second later.
@/DekuCanDoIt: THIS JUST IN! @/PinkyTheeAlien and @/Uravity are banned from hot chocolate privileges for embarrassing me and corrupting Shouto.
@/DekuCanDoIt: THIS JUST IN! @/PinkyTheeAlien and @/Uravity are banned from hot chocolate privileges for embarrassing me and corrupting Shouto.
@/Uravity: Don't u dare, @/DekuCanDoIt! You take my hot chocolate, I release my blackmail!
@/DekuCanDoIt: U have nothing
That probably wasn't his smartest move. Floaty could be brutal.
@/Uravity: O rly?
And Katsuki fucking *died.* His poor heart couldn't take this.
@/DekuCanDoIt: U have nothing
That probably wasn't his smartest move. Floaty could be brutal.
@/Uravity: O rly?
And Katsuki fucking *died.* His poor heart couldn't take this.
Floaty had attached a photo of Deku in a fluffy purple dinosaur onesie, hands curled into claws as he playfully snarled at the camera.
This *had* to be what dying felt like. He wasn't gonna survive this.
"Holy crap, is he even breathing?" he heard Denki ask quietly.
This *had* to be what dying felt like. He wasn't gonna survive this.
"Holy crap, is he even breathing?" he heard Denki ask quietly.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: who gave him the right. WHO GAVE HIM THE FUCKING RIGHT!?
@/Uravity: I did. I bought it for him. Consider this ur reward for defending his honor, internet stranger
@/FuckMeUpDeku: give me more, pls i beg
@/Uravity: no
"Dude, that pic is adorable," Eijirou said.
@/Uravity: I did. I bought it for him. Consider this ur reward for defending his honor, internet stranger
@/FuckMeUpDeku: give me more, pls i beg
@/Uravity: no
"Dude, that pic is adorable," Eijirou said.
Katsuki nodded dumbly. "I'm getting it framed," he replied reverently.
"Or you could ask him to wear it while you cuddle," Denki suggested, only half joking.
And *that* was a thought that he'd treasure forever. He wanted to hug this nerd to death. How fucking *dare* he.
"Or you could ask him to wear it while you cuddle," Denki suggested, only half joking.
And *that* was a thought that he'd treasure forever. He wanted to hug this nerd to death. How fucking *dare* he.
"You good, man?" Eijirou asked hesitantly.
"I want to hold him until we both fucking die of starvation and muscular atrophy," he replied. He didn't even realize he'd said it aloud.
Wisely, Denki and Eijirou didn't mention it. They didn't want him to clam up again.
"I want to hold him until we both fucking die of starvation and muscular atrophy," he replied. He didn't even realize he'd said it aloud.
Wisely, Denki and Eijirou didn't mention it. They didn't want him to clam up again.
Once he'd calmed down a little, he half-tutored and half crawled the internet for footage and photos of Deku's fight.
The analysis thread he composed was *masterful,* if he did say so himself. Deku had said he liked analysis, right? More than the thirst tweets, at least.
The analysis thread he composed was *masterful,* if he did say so himself. Deku had said he liked analysis, right? More than the thirst tweets, at least.
But then...he found this picture that made him feel *warm.*
He loved seeing Deku happy. He'd spent so much time being and *idiot* by trying to beat him down that he didn't really deserve to see moments like this.
Deku leaping between buildings, flipping as he jumped—
He loved seeing Deku happy. He'd spent so much time being and *idiot* by trying to beat him down that he didn't really deserve to see moments like this.
Deku leaping between buildings, flipping as he jumped—
just for fun. Smile wide as the wind rushed through his hair, arms splayed wide.
He looked exhilarated.
If middle-school Katsuki had seen it, he would have tried to snuff it out. He was so glad that Deku was the kind of fire that couldn't be put out.
He looked exhilarated.
If middle-school Katsuki had seen it, he would have tried to snuff it out. He was so glad that Deku was the kind of fire that couldn't be put out.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: this man owns my ass *and* my heart
His alarm went off, letting him know that it was almost time for him to train.
"Alright, fuckers, get out," he grumbled, standing to change.
"Can't wait to see what you were working on!" Eijirou said as he left.
His alarm went off, letting him know that it was almost time for him to train.
"Alright, fuckers, get out," he grumbled, standing to change.
"Can't wait to see what you were working on!" Eijirou said as he left.
-
-
-
tbc! taking a quick break to draft the end of this section! if you're having a good time watching katsuki *die,* comments and tips are both appreciated <3 ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
-
-
tbc! taking a quick break to draft the end of this section! if you're having a good time watching katsuki *die,* comments and tips are both appreciated <3 ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
-
-
-
Katsuki was *so glad* that he'd scheduled a training room to himself. He needed to blow shit up to shake off the blushing virgin vibes he was currently exuding.
Unfortunately, he ran into Deku right as he was leaving the dorm. He stopped and smirked, hoping—
-
-
Katsuki was *so glad* that he'd scheduled a training room to himself. He needed to blow shit up to shake off the blushing virgin vibes he was currently exuding.
Unfortunately, he ran into Deku right as he was leaving the dorm. He stopped and smirked, hoping—
that he was giving off confidence instead of pure, unfiltered gay.
"So. I'm your hero and you want to suffocate in my pecs. Anything else you wanna tell me nerd?" he teased. This was flirting, right? Is this how you did it? *Fuck,* what was he even doing?
"So. I'm your hero and you want to suffocate in my pecs. Anything else you wanna tell me nerd?" he teased. This was flirting, right? Is this how you did it? *Fuck,* what was he even doing?
Deku blushed, and Katsuki fought the urge to take a picture. "Yeah, you suck."
Katsuki's smirk fell. *Ouch.*
"Rude. I was *gonna* tell you what I thought of your fight today, but fuck you," he barked. When in doubt, lash out.
Katsuki's smirk fell. *Ouch.*
"Rude. I was *gonna* tell you what I thought of your fight today, but fuck you," he barked. When in doubt, lash out.
"Nooooo, Kacchan tell me!" Deku whined, chasing after him. He fought a smile. Cute, curious nerd.
"No."
"Please?" he begged, running in front of him to pull the cutest pout he'd ever fucking seen. Katsuki averted his eyes, looking straight up. He couldn't look directly at it.
"No."
"Please?" he begged, running in front of him to pull the cutest pout he'd ever fucking seen. Katsuki averted his eyes, looking straight up. He couldn't look directly at it.
But apparently he was *doomed* to have his heart strangled in Deku's excessively strong fists, because he activated Float to bring his precious pout back into view.
Katsuki looked at the ground. Ha. Take that, dweeb. "No! Fuck you."
Katsuki looked at the ground. Ha. Take that, dweeb. "No! Fuck you."
Deku let out a dramatic sigh. "I understand if you don't want to," he said, sounding so *sad.* Fuck him. "It's okay Kacchan, I ran into Mirio and he gave me some pointers—"
Ah, irritation—Katsuki's specialty. "That fuckin' streaker doesn't know *shit* about your fighting style!"
Ah, irritation—Katsuki's specialty. "That fuckin' streaker doesn't know *shit* about your fighting style!"
"But you do?" Deku *teased,* sly grin stretching across his adorable fucking face. "I dunno Kacchan, kinda sounds like you don't wanna admit that you don't have anything to say."
This asshole was *playing him like a fucking fiddle.* But that *mischievous smile*.
Not now boner.
This asshole was *playing him like a fucking fiddle.* But that *mischievous smile*.
Not now boner.
"You are *such a little shit,*" Katsuki snarled up at him. "Get down here, dickhead!"
"Will you tell me?" he asked, excited.
"Nah."
They bickered back and forth through Katsuki's entire walk to the gym, and it felt so fun and natural and...*charged* that Katsuki was—
"Will you tell me?" he asked, excited.
"Nah."
They bickered back and forth through Katsuki's entire walk to the gym, and it felt so fun and natural and...*charged* that Katsuki was—
simultaneously delighted and confused. What was even happening?
Then Deku's phone went off, and he slid it out of his pocket like it was gonna bite him.
"One of your new *fans*?" Katsuki drawled.
Deku rolled his eyes. "It's just because of that one account," he muttered.
Then Deku's phone went off, and he slid it out of his pocket like it was gonna bite him.
"One of your new *fans*?" Katsuki drawled.
Deku rolled his eyes. "It's just because of that one account," he muttered.
"It blew up. It was all anyone could talk about on the street," he explained distractedly.
"Hm," Katsuki took advantage of his distraction. "Well nice job staying on top of it, nerd. I especially like that you didn't throw yourself in the middle of things without thinking."
"Hm," Katsuki took advantage of his distraction. "Well nice job staying on top of it, nerd. I especially like that you didn't throw yourself in the middle of things without thinking."
Deku *dropped his phone* as he looked up to stare at him, gaping. Dramatic. "Oh my god tell me, *tell me what you thought!*"
Katsuki smirked at him. "Just did. Go take a shower nerd, you smell like ass."
"Do not!" Deku cried after him.
He got inside the gym. Halfway—
Katsuki smirked at him. "Just did. Go take a shower nerd, you smell like ass."
"Do not!" Deku cried after him.
He got inside the gym. Halfway—
through his workout (while he took a break, wasn't *that* thirsty), he finally *sent* the thread. He'd been so focused on Deku begging him for his opinion like it was precious that he'd totally forgotten about it.
But Denki had sent him a pic of Deku glaring at him as he—
But Denki had sent him a pic of Deku glaring at him as he—
stalked through the common room, which reminded him to send it. He also tweeted out the photo.
Thanks, Denki.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: Is it just me or is my mans kinda hot when he mad?
Then, to his irritation, he realized that he'd forgotten his his shoulder brace because he was—
Thanks, Denki.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: Is it just me or is my mans kinda hot when he mad?
Then, to his irritation, he realized that he'd forgotten his his shoulder brace because he was—
being so *fucking gay.* He stomped back to the dorm, only to be met by a crowd of people, turning to look at him in unison. That included Deku, who was blushing violently.
"The fuck?"
Deku frowned at him. "You're back early."
"The fuck?"
Deku frowned at him. "You're back early."
"Forgot my brace. It's *creepy* that you know my schedule."
"What do you think, Kat?" Mina piped up, grin wide and mischievous. Oh, she was about to say something he wouldn't like. "Should he slide into his fan's DMs?"
Denki and Eijirou exchanged horrified looks.
"What do you think, Kat?" Mina piped up, grin wide and mischievous. Oh, she was about to say something he wouldn't like. "Should he slide into his fan's DMs?"
Denki and Eijirou exchanged horrified looks.
He was sure that Mina didn't know. The only way she could have found out was if Denki and Eijirou had told her. Based on those expressions, they hadn't, so she didn't know.
That didn't stop him from panic-exploding anyway.
That didn't stop him from panic-exploding anyway.
-
-
-
tbc in ONE HOUR (i hunger)! the end is approaching, fam. If you're enjoying my nonsense, tips are appreciated <3 If you subscribe to *any* of my Patreon tiers (including the $1 tip jar), you can vote on the next thread!
patreon.com/queenswagzilla
ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
-
-
tbc in ONE HOUR (i hunger)! the end is approaching, fam. If you're enjoying my nonsense, tips are appreciated <3 If you subscribe to *any* of my Patreon tiers (including the $1 tip jar), you can vote on the next thread!
patreon.com/queenswagzilla
ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
-
-
-
part 7
---
He was getting a little sloppy about maintaining his secrecy, and he knew it.
But there was a *real* possibility that Deku wanted him, so his fucks were slowly evaporating.
It helped that Denki and Eijirou seemed so fucking sure about it.
-
-
part 7
---
He was getting a little sloppy about maintaining his secrecy, and he knew it.
But there was a *real* possibility that Deku wanted him, so his fucks were slowly evaporating.
It helped that Denki and Eijirou seemed so fucking sure about it.
The first real *bold moment* was the first time he posted an original picture. It was Deku flailing to keep from falling as he sprinted through the UA halls.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: Watching Deku trying to get from point A to point B is often like watching a baby dear learn how to run
@/FuckMeUpDeku: Watching Deku trying to get from point A to point B is often like watching a baby dear learn how to run
The second was Deku at his lunch table with a leaf stuck in his hair. He'd fallen through a tree during training.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I wish my hand were that leaf. I'm so fucking jealous of that shitty little leaf.
His tweets were starting to sound more like himself, too.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I wish my hand were that leaf. I'm so fucking jealous of that shitty little leaf.
His tweets were starting to sound more like himself, too.
Then, there was the Big Three demonstration for the first years. He, Deku, and Ponytail were scheduled to work with the little twerps all day.
Katsuki talked about the importance of honing your combat sense, and had them practice hand-to-hand on each other so they could—
Katsuki talked about the importance of honing your combat sense, and had them practice hand-to-hand on each other so they could—
predict each others' movements.
Ponytail talked to them about the dangers of second-guessing yourself. It was pretty cool, watching her point out where their moves faltered as they sparred.
Then *Deku* had talked about the importance of knowledge in a fight. *Nerd.*
Ponytail talked to them about the dangers of second-guessing yourself. It was pretty cool, watching her point out where their moves faltered as they sparred.
Then *Deku* had talked about the importance of knowledge in a fight. *Nerd.*
But he wasn't wrong, and he demonstrated by kicking each first-year's ass in under a minute.
Katsuki calmly reminded himself that getting horny in front of the rugrats was a bad idea when Deku *threw an entire first year* out of the stadium over the stands.
So fucking strong.
Katsuki calmly reminded himself that getting horny in front of the rugrats was a bad idea when Deku *threw an entire first year* out of the stadium over the stands.
So fucking strong.
He tweeted it then and there, while Deku was distracted.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I just saw Deku throw an entire first year out of the training stadium, *over* the bleachers. Throw "me* Deku. Throw me. Lemme have it.
That was his boldest move yet. Not many people would have seen that.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I just saw Deku throw an entire first year out of the training stadium, *over* the bleachers. Throw "me* Deku. Throw me. Lemme have it.
That was his boldest move yet. Not many people would have seen that.
But he didn't have to worry, because as intelligent as Deku was, he was also *denser than the fucking Earth's core.*
When they got back to the locker room, Deku did a fucking *strip tease* with his uniform and Katsuki jolted, knee jerking and smacking hard into the bench.
When they got back to the locker room, Deku did a fucking *strip tease* with his uniform and Katsuki jolted, knee jerking and smacking hard into the bench.
Deku's sex appeal was literally injuring him now.
Fantastic.
"Kacchan! Are you okay?" Deku asked, adorably worried.
"Tripped, nerd, fuck off," he hissed, gripping his knee. If he got any closer, Deku would see his 'Deku just stripped in front of me' boner. No fucking thanks.
Fantastic.
"Kacchan! Are you okay?" Deku asked, adorably worried.
"Tripped, nerd, fuck off," he hissed, gripping his knee. If he got any closer, Deku would see his 'Deku just stripped in front of me' boner. No fucking thanks.
"Are you sure?"
"Fuckin' obviously!" he growled, curling to hide his dick from Deku's worried, searching eyes. His concern would end up being his downfall if he wasn't careful.
He was blushing. He could feel it. Deku was stripped down to his boxers, who could blame him?
"Fuckin' obviously!" he growled, curling to hide his dick from Deku's worried, searching eyes. His concern would end up being his downfall if he wasn't careful.
He was blushing. He could feel it. Deku was stripped down to his boxers, who could blame him?
"Okay! I'm gonna take a shower and I—" then he went silent.
"And what, Deku?" Katsuki snapped, still not looking at him and clutching his throbbing knee. "Don't go space-nerd mid-conversation, dork!"
"Sorry, I'll meet you at the dorm," he muttered. Then kept muttering.
"And what, Deku?" Katsuki snapped, still not looking at him and clutching his throbbing knee. "Don't go space-nerd mid-conversation, dork!"
"Sorry, I'll meet you at the dorm," he muttered. Then kept muttering.
He only caught bits and pieces. "...inappropriate...Midnight...dating Ectoplasm—"
"Deku, what the fuck are you talking about?" he finally snapped, curiosity winning out.
"That stan account is someone at the school," he said a little louder. "They saw me throw that first-year—
"Deku, what the fuck are you talking about?" he finally snapped, curiosity winning out.
"That stan account is someone at the school," he said a little louder. "They saw me throw that first-year—
out of the stadium. I mean, it could have been one of the first years, but that side of Field Beta is visible from outside the Beta Lockers and the top three floors of the southwest side of main campus. That's a lot of people."
Katsuki stared at him incredulously.
Katsuki stared at him incredulously.
"You're an idiot," he grumbled eventually, shaking his head in disbelief. "Take the fucking shower, stupid. I'm not letting you in my kitchen if you smell like the sweat and tears of incompetent fourteen-year-old extras."
"Yeah, okay," Deku muttered, not really listening. Then—
"Yeah, okay," Deku muttered, not really listening. Then—
his head snapped up to frown at him. Katsuki rolled his eyes. "What do you mean *your* kitchen?" he demanded.
Katsuki glowered at him. Was Deku *questioning* his supreme reign over the kitchen? The *audacity.* "It's mine."
"It's a communal kitchen," he said seriously.
Katsuki glowered at him. Was Deku *questioning* his supreme reign over the kitchen? The *audacity.* "It's mine."
"It's a communal kitchen," he said seriously.
Katsuki bared his teeth. "*Mine.*"
-
-
-
The thing about Deku that always *got him* was how insanely forgiving the nerd was.
It was like he was campaigning for sainthood or some shit. Even the ridiculous petty crap that had virtually no meaning couldn't be drawn out for long.
-
-
-
The thing about Deku that always *got him* was how insanely forgiving the nerd was.
It was like he was campaigning for sainthood or some shit. Even the ridiculous petty crap that had virtually no meaning couldn't be drawn out for long.
Which is why on Friday, the designated class movie night, Deku caved to Pinky and Floaty's pouting after a grand total of two days of pouting.
Two days. Not exactly the 'ban' they'd been threatened with.
So now, he was in the kitchen making his mom's cinnamon hot chocolate.
Two days. Not exactly the 'ban' they'd been threatened with.
So now, he was in the kitchen making his mom's cinnamon hot chocolate.
The girls came out of the kitchen with full mugs and wide smiles, snuggling into each other on the couch and taking a sip and posing with their ridiculous whipped cream mustaches.
He was surrounded by fucking dorks. From every goddamn angle.
He was surrounded by fucking dorks. From every goddamn angle.
Katsuki saw Mina fiddling with her phone and immediately pulled out his.
@/PinkyTheeAlien: Success! We knew he wouldn't deprive us of his magic hot chocolate for long 🥰
He waited a moment before QRTing. He might be obvious, just not *that* obvious.
@/PinkyTheeAlien: Success! We knew he wouldn't deprive us of his magic hot chocolate for long 🥰
He waited a moment before QRTing. He might be obvious, just not *that* obvious.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: I would pay money for him to make me hot chocolate and let me spoon him.
Denki QRTed him a second later. Did he have Katuski's tweets on alert?
@/Chargebolt: Would you be the big spoon or the little spoon? 😏😏
Katsuki sent him a very subtle middle finger, but—
Denki QRTed him a second later. Did he have Katuski's tweets on alert?
@/Chargebolt: Would you be the big spoon or the little spoon? 😏😏
Katsuki sent him a very subtle middle finger, but—
only succeeded in summoning him closer.
"Fuck you."
"Gimme your phone, I have a present for you."
Katsuki squinted at him. "I don't trust you."
Denki shrugged. "Fair. But I think you'll like it."
Apprehensive, Katsuki handed Denki the phone, and watched him fiddle with it.
"Fuck you."
"Gimme your phone, I have a present for you."
Katsuki squinted at him. "I don't trust you."
Denki shrugged. "Fair. But I think you'll like it."
Apprehensive, Katsuki handed Denki the phone, and watched him fiddle with it.
He didn't really notice that his apprehension was making his palms sweat a little more than normal.
When Denki turned his phone back around, he was greeted by a lockscreen of the brightest smile he'd ever seen—so wide that Deku's eyes had practically disappeared.
He detonated.
When Denki turned his phone back around, he was greeted by a lockscreen of the brightest smile he'd ever seen—so wide that Deku's eyes had practically disappeared.
He detonated.
Again.
"Woah, take it easy super-simp!" Denki teased.
Katsuki lunged at him, accidentally knocking the phone out of his hand as he attempted to tackle the other blonde as he twisted out of the way with a cackle.
He heard Deku enter the room, talking to Eijirou.
"Woah, take it easy super-simp!" Denki teased.
Katsuki lunged at him, accidentally knocking the phone out of his hand as he attempted to tackle the other blonde as he twisted out of the way with a cackle.
He heard Deku enter the room, talking to Eijirou.
He heard Eijirou try to explain what was happening.
"He probably just set it to Russian or something," the idiot shark-boy said dismissively.
Here's the thing. Once Denki stopped trying to break into his phone without permission, he'd allowed himself to start getting—
"He probably just set it to Russian or something," the idiot shark-boy said dismissively.
Here's the thing. Once Denki stopped trying to break into his phone without permission, he'd allowed himself to start getting—
lock screen notifications again. Because no one else tried to *mess with his phone.* And he wanted to know when someone sent him a new photo of Deku as soon as it happened.
So yeah, he *was* a simp. He just didn't like hearing it out loud. *Sue him.*
He had regrets now.
So yeah, he *was* a simp. He just didn't like hearing it out loud. *Sue him.*
He had regrets now.
"Oh," Deku said, moving toward the abandoned phone. "I'll just change it back for him," he said.
Katsuki stopped cold, spinning on his heel and short-circuiting.
"Dude, wait—" Kirishima tried.
"FUCK NO! I'LL DO IT MYSELF, NERD!" he bellowed.
Katsuki stopped cold, spinning on his heel and short-circuiting.
"Dude, wait—" Kirishima tried.
"FUCK NO! I'LL DO IT MYSELF, NERD!" he bellowed.
He was about three seconds too late.
Deku was staring at his own face on the lock-screen. Denki had gone still too, clearly not expecting this to have gone down. Eijirou looked...horrified.
Deku didn't look anything. He looked completely blank.
Deku was staring at his own face on the lock-screen. Denki had gone still too, clearly not expecting this to have gone down. Eijirou looked...horrified.
Deku didn't look anything. He looked completely blank.
Katsuki felt cold. From his toes to his fingertips and in the pit of his stomach.
Deku was *staring* at Katuski's phone, and Katsuki didn't know what he wanted to do about it.
Option one was to blow up his phone, but that seemed like closing the barn door after the horse.
Deku was *staring* at Katuski's phone, and Katsuki didn't know what he wanted to do about it.
Option one was to blow up his phone, but that seemed like closing the barn door after the horse.
Option two was to blow up Deku, and that was pretty stupid considering that he'd have some trouble romancing dismembered body parts.
Option three was to blow himself up. Deku probably wouldn't like that. Neither would his classmates. Also that was dumb.
Option three was to blow himself up. Deku probably wouldn't like that. Neither would his classmates. Also that was dumb.
Option four was to *run the fuck away,* but he wasn't a coward, fuck you.
Then, Katsuki heard his notifications chiming quietly, and the pit of anxiety got even denser, weighing him down and rooting him to the spot.
Then, Katsuki heard his notifications chiming quietly, and the pit of anxiety got even denser, weighing him down and rooting him to the spot.
He had no idea what the notifications said, but he assumed that they were from his thirsty-ass side account, and Deku was getting a full fucking blast of evidence that he was horny as *fuck* and madly in love with him.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Deku kept staring. Silently. Completely blank and totally still.
Then, finally:
"Kacchan? What—" he cut off, swallowing. He didn't take his eyes off the screen.
Fuck, he was freaked out. Of course he was, Katsuki was probably the *last* person he wanted this shit from.
Then, finally:
"Kacchan? What—" he cut off, swallowing. He didn't take his eyes off the screen.
Fuck, he was freaked out. Of course he was, Katsuki was probably the *last* person he wanted this shit from.
Fuck, Denki and Eijirou were wrong. Fuck.
"Fuck, Deku, don't freak out," he uttered, voice a little warped from panic.
Deku looked up at him, squinting as though he were trying to solve a particularly sadistic calculus problem.
"Fuck, Deku, don't freak out," he uttered, voice a little warped from panic.
Deku looked up at him, squinting as though he were trying to solve a particularly sadistic calculus problem.
"I can't," he said, looking confused as fuck. "I don't know what's going on."
Eijirou, who had been holding his hand out to Katsuki like he was a spooked horse or some shit, dropped his arm and turned to his *idiotic* green bean. "You don't? Seriously?" he asked incredulously.
Eijirou, who had been holding his hand out to Katsuki like he was a spooked horse or some shit, dropped his arm and turned to his *idiotic* green bean. "You don't? Seriously?" he asked incredulously.
Katsuki concurred with his confusion.
"What's going on?" Floaty asked, reminding him of their *fucking audience.* She was still cuddled up next to Mina. He'd have to address that at some point.
"I don't know," Deku repeated himself.
"What's going on?" Floaty asked, reminding him of their *fucking audience.* She was still cuddled up next to Mina. He'd have to address that at some point.
"I don't know," Deku repeated himself.
"Dude, I swear to god," Kaminari whined. "You're the smartest guy in this class, you can't be this—"
"Shut up, Zapdos," Katsuki snapped, elbowing him as hard as he possibly could. Zapdos complied. "Deku?" he asked hesitantly. He looked like his brain was gonna overheat.
"Shut up, Zapdos," Katsuki snapped, elbowing him as hard as he possibly could. Zapdos complied. "Deku?" he asked hesitantly. He looked like his brain was gonna overheat.
Deku tilted his head like a fucking puppy and despite his overwhelming urge to run away, his fucking *soul* melted a little. "Are you?"
Oh. Oh, he'd figured it out. Okay. Fuck.
"Yeah."
"You're FuckMeUpDeku," he stated aloud for the entire room to hear.
Oh. Oh, he'd figured it out. Okay. Fuck.
"Yeah."
"You're FuckMeUpDeku," he stated aloud for the entire room to hear.
"Yeah," Katsuki said again, this time raising a fucking *chorus* of dramatic gasps from the peanut gallery. Fucking dorks.
"You're *what?*" Mina screamed like a fucking banshee. He flinched, but didn't take his eyes off Deku.
"Okay," he said, nodding absently. "Why?"
"You're *what?*" Mina screamed like a fucking banshee. He flinched, but didn't take his eyes off Deku.
"Okay," he said, nodding absently. "Why?"
Katuski frowned. What did he mean, 'why'? "The fuck do you mean, *why?*" he demanded, completely lost.
Deku raised his eyebrows like he was surprised at the question. Like he thought Katsuki was a little dense.
Deku raised his eyebrows like he was surprised at the question. Like he thought Katsuki was a little dense.
"The analysis I get," he said slowly, like he was talking to a toddler. "But why pretend to be into me?"
Katsuki went rigid. There was that bone-deep irritation again. How fucking nice.
"Dude," Eijirou groaned. Katsuki was glad that he wasn't the only one exasperated.
Katsuki went rigid. There was that bone-deep irritation again. How fucking nice.
"Dude," Eijirou groaned. Katsuki was glad that he wasn't the only one exasperated.
"*The fuck do you mean pretend?*" he demanded, ire burning. Why the *fuck* would he *pretend* to like him?
Deku flinched back. "I mean...you don't—you can't?"
He *can't*? Can't *what*? Be into the most precious motherfucker to ever grace their hemisphere?
Deku flinched back. "I mean...you don't—you can't?"
He *can't*? Can't *what*? Be into the most precious motherfucker to ever grace their hemisphere?
Deku couldn't possibly be this dense. But as he continued to flounder and Katsuki's frustration grew, he realized that he didn't really have anything else to lose.
"How are you this fucking stupid," he growled. "Hey Cheeks!" He rounded on Uraraka, who flinched so hard that she—
"How are you this fucking stupid," he growled. "Hey Cheeks!" He rounded on Uraraka, who flinched so hard that she—
sloshed Hot Chocolate down her shirt. Disaster. "Cards on the fuckin' table. Does he like me?"
"Uhhhh," she uttered dumbly, blinking at him in shock.
"Yes or no, Floaty!" he barked.
"Uhhhh," she uttered dumbly, blinking at him in shock.
"Yes or no, Floaty!" he barked.
She stalled for another second. Then: "No." His stomach sank. "That's too mild a word." And just like that, it was buoyant again. "He...worships you."
He fuckin' *knew that*! That wasn't helpful.
"Old news," he said, rolling his eyes. "I meant romantically."
He fuckin' *knew that*! That wasn't helpful.
"Old news," he said, rolling his eyes. "I meant romantically."
She nodded sagely. "Yeah, he *romantically* worships you," she said.
A grin spread across his face, even as Deku shouted, "Ochako!" in betrayal.
"It's not my fault you're dense!" she yelled right back.
His feet were moving on their own, carrying him to Deku hastily.
A grin spread across his face, even as Deku shouted, "Ochako!" in betrayal.
"It's not my fault you're dense!" she yelled right back.
His feet were moving on their own, carrying him to Deku hastily.
Luckily, he knew what to do when he got there.
He planted his hands (which were probably a little too warm to be strictly safe) on either side of Deku's stupid, perfect face, and pulled it up as he leaned down.
He planted his hands (which were probably a little too warm to be strictly safe) on either side of Deku's stupid, perfect face, and pulled it up as he leaned down.
They met in the middle and Katsuki devoured him. Deku's lips were so damn *soft,* except in that one place where he always bit it when he was thinking.
It kept catching against his own, and it was driving him nuts. He wanted to kiss him forever, until their lips fucking eroded.
It kept catching against his own, and it was driving him nuts. He wanted to kiss him forever, until their lips fucking eroded.
Then, he noticed Deku wasn't kissing back. He pulled away.
"If you don't kiss me back in the next ten seconds, I'm never kissing you again, motherfucker," he snapped, a little breathless and overwhelmed.
That worked. He leaned back down and this time, Deku met him halfway.
"If you don't kiss me back in the next ten seconds, I'm never kissing you again, motherfucker," he snapped, a little breathless and overwhelmed.
That worked. He leaned back down and this time, Deku met him halfway.
If kissing Deku felt good when he wasn't kissing back, it was practically a drug overdose when he did.
Katsuki swore he felt himself fucking *transcend.* Then Deku's arms wound around his waist and Katsuki thought he was gonna vibrate out of his fucking skin. Or collapse.
Katsuki swore he felt himself fucking *transcend.* Then Deku's arms wound around his waist and Katsuki thought he was gonna vibrate out of his fucking skin. Or collapse.
Eventually, he pulled back again and had to stop himself from dragging Deku back to his room like a caveman. His eyes were glassy and his mouth was all swollen and red and he was blushing and Katsuki wanted to *ruin him.* Lovingly, of course. "You good nerd?"
"You like me?" he uttered disbelievingly. Katsuki wanted to smack his head into a brick wall. "*Me?*"
"Yes, *you,* you idiotic broccoli bitch boy," he snarled. "It's like talking to a rock, I swear."
"A very hot rock!" Mina chipped in. He concurred.
"Yes, *you,* you idiotic broccoli bitch boy," he snarled. "It's like talking to a rock, I swear."
"A very hot rock!" Mina chipped in. He concurred.
"A hot rock who you *love!*" Uraraka shrieked. "You said it like fifty times! No take-backs!"
He scowled. "Why the fuck would I take it back!"
"Well you said he was smart," she said. "But he's acting kinda dumb."
She had him there. Still, he wouldn't just *change his mind!*
He scowled. "Why the fuck would I take it back!"
"Well you said he was smart," she said. "But he's acting kinda dumb."
She had him there. Still, he wouldn't just *change his mind!*
He looked back down at Deku, who was just...staring at him. Again. "Uh...you good, Deku?" he asked, shaking his shoulder lightly.
"You *love* me?!" he yelped. Katsuki wanted to shake him a little harder.
"I don't understand the fuckin' surprise," he sighed.
"You *love* me?!" he yelped. Katsuki wanted to shake him a little harder.
"I don't understand the fuckin' surprise," he sighed.
"But I love *you!*" he fuckin' *wailed,* clearly panicked.
Katsuki...was lost. What? Why were those mutually exclusive? "I'm not seeing the problem here, nerd," he said a little desperately. What the fuck was in that dumb skull of his?
"I'm not in your league, Kacchan!"
Katsuki...was lost. What? Why were those mutually exclusive? "I'm not seeing the problem here, nerd," he said a little desperately. What the fuck was in that dumb skull of his?
"I'm not in your league, Kacchan!"
Katsuki saw red.
"Dude, that was the wrong thing to say—" Eijirou said, grimacing.
"The fuck you aren't asshole! If you weren't in my league, would I waste my time on you?" he demanded, gripping Deku's shoulders and shaking him the way he wanted to—hard and without mercy.
"Dude, that was the wrong thing to say—" Eijirou said, grimacing.
"The fuck you aren't asshole! If you weren't in my league, would I waste my time on you?" he demanded, gripping Deku's shoulders and shaking him the way he wanted to—hard and without mercy.
Maybe he'd manage to shake something into that vacant fucking skull!
And it looked like it worked, because Deku's face brightened, just a little. "No," he breathed.
"Would I make a fucking *Twitter account* to panic about how gay I am for you if I didn't want you?" he snapped.
And it looked like it worked, because Deku's face brightened, just a little. "No," he breathed.
"Would I make a fucking *Twitter account* to panic about how gay I am for you if I didn't want you?" he snapped.
"Probably not," Deku replied compliantly, finally starting to catch on. He was in love with the *densest shithead known to man,* good fucking god.
"Right! So if I spend time with you on purpose and I make a dumbass Twitter account that's *mostly" about how perfect—
"Right! So if I spend time with you on purpose and I make a dumbass Twitter account that's *mostly" about how perfect—
your face is and how much I want to touch your ass?"
Apparently, he'd have to lead this dumb fucking horse to water. Jesus fucking Christ.
Deku blinked once. Then twice. "Oh my god, you love me," he whispered, shellshocked.
Apparently, he'd have to lead this dumb fucking horse to water. Jesus fucking Christ.
Deku blinked once. Then twice. "Oh my god, you love me," he whispered, shellshocked.
"Fuckin' *finally,*" Katsuki groaned, threading his hands into Deku's (angelically soft) hair and dragging him back up for another kiss, biting at his lips enthusiastically.
Deku pulled back this time, and Katuski growled about it. "You tried to bribe Ochako for photos of me."
Deku pulled back this time, and Katuski growled about it. "You tried to bribe Ochako for photos of me."
Katsuki blushed, but before he could say anything, Denki cut in. "He's a *simp!*" he cried delightedly.
Deku just smiled, still a little disbelieving. "That's okay. I am too," he admitted, eyes searching Katsuki's face. "I made you a gingersnap latte instead of hot chocolate."
Deku just smiled, still a little disbelieving. "That's okay. I am too," he admitted, eyes searching Katsuki's face. "I made you a gingersnap latte instead of hot chocolate."
Katsuki's heart and lungs and *stomach* all clenched in unison. "You're the fuckin' best," he replied. Fuck, he was so in love with this dork. Holy crap.
"Are you gonna keep gazing into each other's eyes right in front of my hot chocolate?" Mina snickered.
"Are you gonna keep gazing into each other's eyes right in front of my hot chocolate?" Mina snickered.
"This is literally your fault," Katsuki said, still gazing into Deku's eyes, both to spite her but mostly because he wanted to. "Can't complain now."
"Shut the fuck up, Kacchan *loves me.* Don't ruin it," Deku barked at her.
And here he'd thought he couldn't fall more in love.
"Shut the fuck up, Kacchan *loves me.* Don't ruin it," Deku barked at her.
And here he'd thought he couldn't fall more in love.
"At least come over here and let the poor man spoon you, Deku," Floaty suggested. He had half a mind to kiss her on the fuckin' mouth for suggesting it. "He's been pining for literal years." Nevermind.
"I've been pining for like two years longer than he has," Deku reminded her.
"I've been pining for like two years longer than he has," Deku reminded her.
"Not a flex, dude," Eijirou said.
No, but it made him feel better about how utterly *gone* he was for the nerd. He was already pulling Deku to the couch, and Katsuki pulled Deku down next to him almost reverently—arranging them carefully like he thought he might disappear.
No, but it made him feel better about how utterly *gone* he was for the nerd. He was already pulling Deku to the couch, and Katsuki pulled Deku down next to him almost reverently—arranging them carefully like he thought he might disappear.
There's no way this was happening, right?
There's no way he was *spooning Deku* on the couch, soft curls tickling his nose while his arms were wrapped around his waist. This couldn't be real.
Deku *snuggled* back into him, and Katsuki squeezed him tighter.
There's no way he was *spooning Deku* on the couch, soft curls tickling his nose while his arms were wrapped around his waist. This couldn't be real.
Deku *snuggled* back into him, and Katsuki squeezed him tighter.
His fucking heart. Couldn't. Take this.
"Hey," he whispered as Denki and Mina argued over the movie, pressing a kiss on the tiny space between the back of his ear and his hairline. Deku shivered. Holy fuck this was real.
"Yeah?" Deku whispered back.
"Hey," he whispered as Denki and Mina argued over the movie, pressing a kiss on the tiny space between the back of his ear and his hairline. Deku shivered. Holy fuck this was real.
"Yeah?" Deku whispered back.
Katsuki wound their fingers together. Holy *shit,* he was holding Deku's hand. This was the best fucking day ever.
He swallowed. "I'm gonna keep thirst tweeting," he admitted. He had to. He couldn't physically contain this.
Deku shot up. "Kacchan, no!"
He swallowed. "I'm gonna keep thirst tweeting," he admitted. He had to. He couldn't physically contain this.
Deku shot up. "Kacchan, no!"
-
-
-
A week later, and with a *myriad* of negotiations, Katsuki posted a photo. Mina had taken it for them.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: [Katsuki and Deku, curled together on the couch, Deku pressing a kiss to Katsuki's cheek] I #LetDekuSmash. Follow your fuckin' dreams, extras.
-
-
A week later, and with a *myriad* of negotiations, Katsuki posted a photo. Mina had taken it for them.
@/FuckMeUpDeku: [Katsuki and Deku, curled together on the couch, Deku pressing a kiss to Katsuki's cheek] I #LetDekuSmash. Follow your fuckin' dreams, extras.
Needless to say, they turned off their notifications for a while. They both needed to lay low.
-
-
-
end! 💕 thank you to everyone who hopped on this ride *again*! if you're enjoying my nonsense, tips are appreciated <3 If you subscribe to *any* of my Patreon tiers (including the $1 tip jar), you can vote on the next thread!
patreon.com/queenswagzilla
ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
-
-
end! 💕 thank you to everyone who hopped on this ride *again*! if you're enjoying my nonsense, tips are appreciated <3 If you subscribe to *any* of my Patreon tiers (including the $1 tip jar), you can vote on the next thread!
patreon.com/queenswagzilla
ko-fi.com/s_the_queen
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
