Thread by @joulee

Before The Making of a Manager came out, my publishers and I had a chat that left me deeply uncomfortable.

"Who are some business writers / leaders you admire?" they asked.

Easy. I rattled off a dozen names.

"Great, can you ask them to read your book and give a blurb?"

1/10

My initial reaction: 😬
I came up with a myriad of excuses for why I couldn't ask for a blurb.

They don't know me! It would be rude to ask.
They are important people and far too busy to read my book!
I don't have their e-mails.

2/10

My publishers cheerfully added some e-mails to the list, reminded me of how important blurbs were to establish the credibility of my book, and wished me well.

3/10

I had my list to ask for blurbs.

The email was simple. Only a few sentences long.
And yet.
I spent an embarrassingly long time writing and rewriting it.

(I have many stories of spending waaaaaayy too long writing such e-mails when I'm nervous)

4/10

Why was it so difficult? I felt besieged by What If's:

What if I hear the dreaded rejection word: NO?
What if they read it and think my baby is ugly?
What if nobody responds at all, confirming my fear that I and my work are utterly insignificant?

5/10

I like to think I'm independent. That I am self-made. That I don't need to rely on anyone.

But this is a rubbish illusion. None of us are self-made. I wouldn't be who I am if thousands of people hadn't influenced me. Our connections are what make us human.

6/10

I sent those e-mails to prominent authors, CEOs, and leaders, asking them for a favor. Many of them I'd never met.

They had no reason to say yes.

And yet, the majority responded, agreed to read my book, and wrote a blurb.

What a vote of confidence. What elation!

7/10

The folks who declined, I'm grateful for too. Learning to not be afraid of the dreaded "NO" is its own superpower.

I learned it wasn't personal. Sometimes, someone has other things that they are prioritizing, and that is okay. It doesn't mean they think you suck.

8/10

The whole experience stirred something in me. When someone helps you, it makes you want to help others.

This is why you shouldn't hesitate to ask for help if you need it.

Counter-intuitively, asking for favors creates more generosity in the world.

9/10

So thank you, @gretchenrubin, @sama, @ev, @stewart, @DanielPink, @mikeyk, @brit, @nireyal, @logangreen, @mbs_works, @johnmaeda, @jakek.

I think of you whenever another author asks me for a blurb, and the lesson I took away: don't be afraid to ask. There are rewards yet.

Fin.