(1) There was an officer involved shooting (OIS) in Columbus, Ohio today. The deceased was a 15 year old black girl, identified by family members - Police have yet to provide her name to the public.
My comments on this statement from the local Mayor:
My comments on this statement from the local Mayor:
https://twitter.com/MayorGinther/status/1384650492303732740
(2) As you would expect, people who support the #BlackLivesMatter movement are criticizing Columus, Ohio Mayor Andrew Ginther for aspects of his statement. I took screenshots of it: 
(3) Let's go through each point:
"a young woman tragically lost her life"
She's 15, so he should have said girl, female, or person.
For now, the audience holds the Mayor's PD responsible, so he should not have said "lost her life." He should be more neutral at this point.
"a young woman tragically lost her life"
She's 15, so he should have said girl, female, or person.
For now, the audience holds the Mayor's PD responsible, so he should not have said "lost her life." He should be more neutral at this point.
(4) "BCI is on the scene conducting"
I assume this is Bureau of Criminal Investigations or something. His audience is nationwide, so he shd avoid acronyms. In fact, he should have tweeted out an image of the statement, then he can use more characters and it's not split in half.
I assume this is Bureau of Criminal Investigations or something. His audience is nationwide, so he shd avoid acronyms. In fact, he should have tweeted out an image of the statement, then he can use more characters and it's not split in half.
(5) "an independent investigation"
A potentially loaded term at this time. There's a ton of ways this message could have been drafted better. All a Mayor can guarantee is that such an investigation is intended to be independent. The judge of that is the public, later on.
A potentially loaded term at this time. There's a ton of ways this message could have been drafted better. All a Mayor can guarantee is that such an investigation is intended to be independent. The judge of that is the public, later on.
(6) Some of the Mayor's critics complain about the use of the term "[officer] involved shooting."
Early on, it is the most appropriate term, in my opinion. It's neutral, especially when all we know for sure is that there was a shooting and an officer was involved in it.
Early on, it is the most appropriate term, in my opinion. It's neutral, especially when all we know for sure is that there was a shooting and an officer was involved in it.
(7) "We will share information that we can as soon as it becomes available."
Who's "we," Mr Mayor? You personally? Your staff? Your PD, which was involved?
Better to be precise about who will speak on your behalf next. And, it should be the investigating department.
Who's "we," Mr Mayor? You personally? Your staff? Your PD, which was involved?
Better to be precise about who will speak on your behalf next. And, it should be the investigating department.
(8) He qualified the promise with "that we can." He can use this to justify not releasing certain info.
Which is fine, except that he tries to score brownie points by saying "as soon as it becomes available."
A garbled sentence, probably drafted by an incompetent PR adviser.
Which is fine, except that he tries to score brownie points by saying "as soon as it becomes available."
A garbled sentence, probably drafted by an incompetent PR adviser.
(9) But it's the final sentence that really does the damage:
"I’m asking for residents to remain calm and allow BCI to gather the facts."
20 minutes before the Chauvin verdict was read to the court. On a day of already heightened tensions around the country.
"I’m asking for residents to remain calm and allow BCI to gather the facts."
20 minutes before the Chauvin verdict was read to the court. On a day of already heightened tensions around the country.
(10) There's no link between remaining "calm" & allowing investigators to "gather the facts" either.
They can gather them regardless They already started, as the Mayor himself admits, with the video footage.
I don't expect "calm." I expect non violence, bc it makes it worse.
They can gather them regardless They already started, as the Mayor himself admits, with the video footage.
I don't expect "calm." I expect non violence, bc it makes it worse.
(11) Elected officials like @MayorGinther should use pre-drafted statements that have been well thought-through. It's not impossible for us PR advisers to have a number of options ready for emergencies.
Here's what I would have recommended instead:
Here's what I would have recommended instead:
(12) "Police have informed me that an individual has died following an officer-involved shooting (OIS).
I have directed officials to update me on this case as much as possible. As per city policy, the [name of independent body] is responsible for investigating any OIS here.
I have directed officials to update me on this case as much as possible. As per city policy, the [name of independent body] is responsible for investigating any OIS here.
(13) "Like all of you, I want this case properly and fully investigated and anyone found at fault to be held accountable under the law. I am informed that bodycam footage was recorded, and I expect that to be made public as soon as possible...
(14) "I will leave no stone unturned as the facts of this case are uncovered and, as always, will make any recommendations for change a priority. I encourage peaceful protest and I intend to join in a public vigil later tonight. I ask everyone to gather peacefully and...
(15) " ... to remember that while protest is necessary and is protected, there is no justification for violence. I have reminded officials of the need to protect peaceful protesters and enforce the law fairly."
Or, words to that effect. I wrote that off the top of my head.
Or, words to that effect. I wrote that off the top of my head.
(16) As someone who has worked in government, it's painful watching people get it so wrong these days, whether it's pandemic response, police shooting aftermath, or whatever else.
The least they can do is draft better statements than this one was.
The least they can do is draft better statements than this one was.
(17) OK the bodycam footage of the shooting of #makhiabryant is out. I comment on it in this thread:
https://twitter.com/FreedomFriesInc/status/1384733561605943297
• • •
Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to
force a refresh
