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Candice Marie Benbow Profile picture
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30 Apr, 4 tweets, 2 min read
Last July, Kev asked if we could chop it up on his podcast to discuss theology, Black women and sexuality. He didn’t hesitate to pay my full speakers bureau rate. The pandemic took all my 2020 engagements. What Kev did for me paid all my bills and covered my move to ATL in Oct.
Since then, I’ve been able to grow to him and his wife Melissa in very real ways and count them as friends.

I tell this story because @KevOnStage hasn’t just created opportunities for comedians to shine. He’s made a commitment to using his platform to amplify Black women, too.
I can’t tell you how many times Kev has discussed and been intentional about making sure sisters get into positions that can change the trajectory of their lives. That matters.

Many amazing opportunities came as a result of being on Kev’s podcast and I’m truly grateful.
Theologically, the @KevOnStage core fanbase and I disagree on much and Kev took real heat for extending his platform to me. But he believed what I have to say matters and he felt led to share his stage with me. In faith and larger cultural spaces, we need more of this. Good dude.

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More from @CandiceBenbow

Candice Marie Benbow Profile picture
1 May
I navigated a depressive episode all of April and had a recent (unrelated) health scare that I’m still working through.

Days and nights were filled with tears for my mama. I miss her every day but, when things are wrong, I miss her even more.
This month, I’m employing more resources to help me navigate depressive episodes. While I’ve been in therapy, I’ve found a support group for folks living with depression that I’m looking forward to attending.
And while I’ll be having surgery this month, I’m learning to lean on people and release the anxiety of feeling like I’m a burden. The bright side is it means my home will be filled with guests as I get better.
Read 9 tweets
Candice Marie Benbow Profile picture
16 Mar
Some dude just said to me that prisons are full of Black men whose fathers needed to cuss them out but didn’t. A mother messaged me and said she will talk to her children however she sees fit because it’s saving their lives. And this is where I leave you.
Be very clear. Whether you call your child a bitch ass, poor ass, skinny ass mf-er...whether you tell them you will break their necks, it will not stop White supremacy from doing what it wants.
Cussing your children and threatening/enacting violence against them does not push your children to be whole and well.

It does, however, ensure that they know they have no safe places in this world.
Read 9 tweets
Candice Marie Benbow Profile picture
16 Mar
Thinking I was grown and some ride or die chick, I got into some serious trouble that, at the time, I couldn’t even tell my mama about. I wasn’t able to tell her until years later, when all the dust had settled.
The trouble I’d gotten into threatened all my hopes and possibilities for the future. I couldn’t talk to anyone in my family and I didn’t know who I could tell. My friend Kelisha and I went to the only person we could think of: her brother Vincent.
Vincent handled it. He handled all of it. He never asked questions. He didn’t give me some speech about how he was disappointed in me. He just told me to make sure I didn’t squander this opportunity and go do something with my life.
Read 8 tweets
Candice Marie Benbow Profile picture
15 Mar
Had his wife or one of his daughters recorded and released that conversation, there would be a plethora of statuses and positions about the extreme lengths Black girls and women must take to be believed about abuse and mistreatment.
Had his wife or one of his daughters recorded and released that conversation, they would be celebrated for their bravery and courage.
Had his wife or one of his daughters recorded and released that conversation, many would have taken a different position than the one they have taken.

But because he is a Black man...
Read 8 tweets
Candice Marie Benbow Profile picture
14 Mar
And be very clear: the church has made it okay for folks to operate in leadership capacities while being terrible parents.
Many of our pastors aren’t even claiming and publicly acknowledging all of their children. Some are terrors at home. Some have abysmal relationships with their children. Folks know it and don’t care.
Hell y’all got a whole bishop who literally wiped the existence of his adult daughter from his entire genealogy (because she allegedly made a mistake) and y’all still keep inviting and following him—and his family who went along with it—everywhere!
Read 10 tweets
Candice Marie Benbow Profile picture
14 Mar
Lastly, if your defense is “well he just took Kirk to a place”, then I say this in love- you need to seek help.
If your “place” is calling your child poor and a bitch ass and a mf-er, then you need to seek the professional help of someone who can help you better process your emotions, anger and frustration.
It’s 2021 and we have access to healthier modes of parenting and communication through therapy. And, if you’re in therapy, please actually do the work. The fruit of it is beautiful.
Read 5 tweets

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