Thread by @CandiceBenbow

I navigated a depressive episode all of April and had a recent (unrelated) health scare that I’m still working through.

Days and nights were filled with tears for my mama. I miss her every day but, when things are wrong, I miss her even more.

This month, I’m employing more resources to help me navigate depressive episodes. While I’ve been in therapy, I’ve found a support group for folks living with depression that I’m looking forward to attending.

And while I’ll be having surgery this month, I’m learning to lean on people and release the anxiety of feeling like I’m a burden. The bright side is it means my home will be filled with guests as I get better.

I’ve gotten very clear about my career and vocational desires. And I’ve gotten even more clear about what and who I need to make it happen. Thinking through projects, even while resting, has been life-giving.

And April taught me a great deal about boundaries. For so long, I didn’t have any and it was a function of the overwhelming grief and trauma present in my life. I’m not that person anymore and I get to adjust relationships accordingly. Nobody will ever want better for me than me.

So much in my life is changing. A lot of it has to do with what is professionally on the horizon. But more of it is about fundamentally wanting to be better than I have been. I want God to be pleased with my life and I want to be pleased with my life.

If I come across your mind at all this month, please speak my name to the highest power in which you believe. Ask the ancestors to continue to guide me as I move through this life in ways that honor their sacrifices. Request that healing energy flow to me and my body be well.

This month, I’m speaking at a conference and will release a special podcast project on Black folks, faith and COVID-19. More information on those will be posted soon and I hope you’ll support.

Additionally, I’ve closed my calendar to new projects and partnerships until July 1.

These next two months will focus on the things that bring me joy as I heal in all the ways healing is needed.

I’m looking forward to cooking, baking, journaling, laughing, loving and watching episodes of the greatest television show ever- In the Heat of the Night.

Love yall.