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1 May, 4 tweets, 1 min read
"siri show me the most pathetic scene u can imagine"
i almost hope this is a deep fake or SNL skit because other wise
my shoulders will not un-cringe help
phew ok this is working

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More from @darth

darth™ Profile picture
3 May
yeah just keep trying to pump up these petty outrages dude
"ITS A WAR OUT THERE"
just remembered lucky peach did some great stories about daniel humms vegetarian dishes back in around 2015
Read 4 tweets
darth™ Profile picture
28 Apr
rotary phone, fax machine, vhs player, cue cat
pager, business card scanner, zip drive
stack of AOL cds
Read 5 tweets
darth™ Profile picture
28 Apr
never forget that godzilla also has a son
Read 4 tweets
darth™ Profile picture
27 Apr
the regular potato is unmatched in its ability to hold and maintain a satisfying cronch in various shapes and modes of preparation

this can not be matched by the sweeter varietals
the potato is also very amenable to the fry once and freeze for a later second frying without the need for defrosting which gives it an advantage in quick preparation in large quantities
yes the potato can also serve as a stalwart vehicle for any number of toppings and garnishes from gravy to sour cream to cheese to bacon bits there really is no end to the possibilities afforded by the humble yet versatile potato

Read 4 tweets
darth™ Profile picture
26 Apr
why is that rick
just the stupidest people
cnn pays this guy to spout this racist drivel
Read 4 tweets
darth™ Profile picture
21 Apr
they should just use panko instead of hand
by the way
if u have never used panko u are missing out
forget those ancient cardboard boxes of dusty breadcrumb with questionable spices

try the panko
using panko instead of cardboard box breadcrumb is like using fresh grated parmesan cheese instead of that stuff from the green tubes i am serious
Read 7 tweets

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