Thread by @Joannechocolat

Lazy Saturday. Cup of tea. You know what that means, Twitter. #Storytime.

New folk, if you're new to this: #Storytime; in which I write a story, freestyle, on Twitter. Some pay attention; others unfollow. And it always starts with these words:

There once was a man who longed to be King. He had no qualifications, except in that he was a man of privilege, wealth and connections, and he was only one among many with their eyes on the throne, and not the most deserving. #Storytime

He was lazy and quick to anger; a liar; cowardly, faithless and easily led. And yet of all things, he longed to be King, and to rule over the people. #Storytime

For a time, he indulged his fantasy by pursuing women. But every time he tried to make himself king over a woman he desired, he found his desire ruled him instead, and it simply cost him money.
#Storytime

Then, he tried to make himself king over the world of literature. But lazy and talentless as he was, he failed to make an impact. #Storytime

Next, he tried to make himself king in the world of entertainment. But although he proved entertaining enough to some folk in his small way, the adulation he craved was neither great nor universal enough to satisfy his ambition. #Storytime

One day on a walk in the family grounds, he came across a lake of ducks. The man fed them bread, which was bad for them, but the ducks did not know this, and clamoured for more. #Storytime

“I shall be King of the Ducks!” said the man. And he went home in triumph, and told his father that he wanted a palatial summerhouse erected by the side of the lake. #Storytime

His father, who was tired of having his son live at home, agreed, and soon the King of the Ducks was living in his palatial summerhouse, from which he surveyed his avian subjects with tremendous satisfaction. #Storytime

But there was something missing. Reluctant as he was to pay for his new, royal lifestyle, he needed supporters to finance him. #Storytime

“I must have more bread for my people,” he said. And so he befriended a baker’s wife, who, on the understanding that she would be his Queen, agreed to supply him with all the stale bread he needed to keep his subjects happy. #Storytime

But something was still missing. He craved the approval of his peers; and so he sent word to all his friends and family that he was now King. #Storytime

Some of his more discerning friends were sceptical. In spite of all his boasting, nothing that he had done so far seemed to amount to much more than talk. This irked the man, and he promised himself that he would prove the doubters wrong. #Storytime

One of his friends was a fisherman. “Now the ducks have bread to eat, there will be fish plenty,” said the man. “Feel free to help yourself, and I’m sure we can find an agreement.”The fisherman agreed, and as a gesture of support, provided him with the use of his boat. #Storytime

The King then promptly hired out the boat to a man selling rides on the lake, and soon all kinds of gentlefolk were coming to enjoy the lake, and to admire the summerhouse, and the King was very pleased. #Storytime

One of his friends was a butcher. “A brace of ducks from your lake,” he said, “would surely pay for my support.” And so the King arranged to provide a weekly supply of duck, in exchange for duck down, which the King promptly sold to a man who made soft furnishings. #Storytime

Soon this maker of cushions and couches became popular among the gentlefolk, and provided the man and his new Queen with generous samples of his work. #Storytime

But things were not well with the ducks on the lake. Disease had broken out, caused by their harmful change of diet. The duck population, decimated by butchery and disease, their nests disturbed by the visitors, began to show signs of dying out. #Storytime

Worse still, the fish, who had also fed on the bread that the King’s new Queen tipped daily into the lake, were also starting to disappear. #Storytime

The fisherman who had supported the King threatened to take his business elsewhere. So did the butcher, seeing the ducks increasingly unhealthy and underfed, as well as the maker of cushions, who relied on the butcher for his supply of duck down. #Storytime

This very much displeased the Queen, who had an addiction to fine furnishings. #Storytime

The King became very angry. “I am King!” he bawled at the ducks, throwing stale bread furiously into the water. “I am King, and you serve ME!”#Storytime

The ducks, knowing no better, continued to devour the bread. #Storytime

The Queen came out to investigate, and found herself mobbed by quacking ducks. “What’s the point in being Queen at all,” she said, “if I can’t live in luxury?” And she went back to the baker, taking her supply of free bread with her. #Storytime

The King, aggrieved, was forced to befriend the wife of a local innkeeper who, lured by the promise of a royal intrigue, was only too happy to comply. #Storytime

The ducks died out, but the innkeeper’s wife brought with her a plentiful supply of beer, which somewhat softened the blow for the King - at least until he sobered up. #Storytime
The end.

If you enjoy these occasional threads, and feel like buying me a nice cup of tea, here's the place to do it... ko-fi.com/story