@NormMann3 @Goodtweet_man @acczibit @undeadscribe The Interstate Highway System is actually a continent-sized sigil created to imprison the demon king of the Yellowstone caldera.

Today, the sigil is starting to fail from lack of maintenance. 1/
@NormMann3 @Goodtweet_man @acczibit @undeadscribe The last surviving necromancer of the Eisenhower era (who may just be a random crazy person) has to road-trip to fix it. But he's too old to drive.

He blackmails a random zoomer with a van into driving him around the country to perform weird rituals. 2/
@NormMann3 @Goodtweet_man @acczibit @undeadscribe They are pursued by meme-poisoned leftist sorcerors who want the sigil to fail so the demon (who they believe to be spirit of communism) will emerge and destroy America.

The title of the movie: ESCHATON. 3/3
@NormMann3 @Goodtweet_man @acczibit @undeadscribe 90% of the movie is just Tarantino-style arguing over coffee in truck stops.

ZOOMER (Kal Penn-type circa Harold and Kumar, maybe?): Eisenhower spent half a trillion dollars on the project, and everyone just FORGOT about it? 4/3
@NormMann3 @Goodtweet_man @acczibit @undeadscribe NECROMANCER (shortsleeve button-down shirt, crew-cut): Kennedy took away half our budget, Nixon took the other half, Carter wanted to use us on on the mullahs and threw us under the bus when that blew up. Reagan put us on the street when he emptied the mental hospitals. 5/3
@NormMann3 @Goodtweet_man @acczibit @undeadscribe ---

ZOOMER: Wait, the WILSON administration? <counts on fingers> Wouldn't that make you a hundred and thirty years old?

NECROMANCER: <waves sarcastically> Necromancer! 6/3

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More from @St_Rev

2 May
The movie writes itself, and by 'writes itself' I mean 'I keep hearing dialogue from it in my head, help"
I'm hearing the trailer in my head now.

F/X: <Long shot from space, descending toward the northwestern US.>

VO: Yellowstone is an active supervolcano. About once every six hundred thousand years, it wipes out most of western North America. And it's overdue.
F/X: <Shot approaches Yellowstone national park, reaches ground level, and keeps going>

VO: About eight thousand years ago, a malign nonhuman entity was imprisoned in the Yellowstone caldera.

F/X: <Tunneling shot reaches magma>

F/X: <yelling, hoofbeats>
Read 7 tweets
19 Apr
No Real Scientist disagrees with me, and if any of them do, they need to have their funding cut off. campusreform.org/article?id=161…
Sorry to link to campusreform, which is irritating, but this dude:

> Justin Feldman is a social epidemiologist who researches racism and health, with emphases on economic inequality and police violence.

IOW, he's not an epidemiologist, he's just taking a job away from one.
This motherfucker and his commie fifth column are a big part of why our public health apparatus failed so miserably in 2020. They will continue to throw bodies on the bonfire of their pseudoreligious inquisition. Don't look away.
Read 4 tweets
18 Apr
Sometimes I get uncomfortable being over on the right side of Ingroup and then I notice the Ingroup-adjacent lefties and, yeah, I guess edgy bantz isn't so bad in comparison. Talk about not knowing what you don't know.
I just peeked in at the Ingroup drama and I would like to officially disavow the previous tweet. I forgot that I had most of the worst righty offenders muted already
Would you rather have stoned lizards with dead eyes hissing SomethingAwful shibboleths in your mentions, or subliterate baboons shrieking about Da Jooos and German idealism? The answer, of course, is: No.
Read 5 tweets
17 Apr
The wailing is Coal, who was behind the camera trying to crawl up my leg and having Difficulties.
Mr. Mustache is the bravest but Coal is usually right behind him. Coal goes straight for my leg. Getting lots of razor cuts on my foot now.
New discovery for both of us: Dust likes petting a lot!
Read 4 tweets
28 Mar
<Marches up to the steam dot com> "Yes! I am gonna buy me a com-pyoo-tor game right now! This will be great, this will be just the thing"

<flips through the bargain bins for three hours again> "well this sucks"
I gotta say, I know they must be sick to death of the limits of the console controller, but SquareSoft is just the rock bottom fucking worst for fixing what isn't broken. Instead of fighting monsters, you fight the interface.
Final Fantasy XV was like trying to program Excel with a paddle controller. Tried multiple times over several years and couldn't get out of the tutorial.

I have probably complained about this before.
Read 5 tweets
26 Mar
Best photo of about 16. You can see the three gray kittens' heads on the left, and the two black kittens' heads on the right. Gotta replace the towels in there. Image
We've also been getting heavy rain and my clever setup is not working as well as I'd hoped. Water is splashing onto the nesting box and I may need to swap it out for a plastic storage bin. It's due to rain for the next week solid. :(
I sat down with the kittens while Tiny dashed inside the kitchen to eat. I picked one up, it cried, Tiny came rushing back -- and so did Tiny's boyfriend, out of nowhere. Good dad!
Read 4 tweets

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