Thread by @autisticats

If you are someone who, like me, finds it difficult or impossible to speak when you’re overstimulated:

You don’t have to keep all of your thoughts in your head just because it’s “easier.”

You’re allowed to use AAC, sign language, text-to-speech apps, etc. In fact, you should.

Yesterday I went to the mall with Abby and two of our friends. I had forgotten how busy malls can be.

One of the shops we went to had colored strobe lights inside that I had to move & look away from. Others had loud music playing. There were people and bright lights everywhere.

These stimuli weren’t a very big deal to the people I was with, but they impacted me significantly.

I could feel myself withdrawing, and losing speech.

Without me having to ask, Abby knew I needed earplugs and gave them to me. I was very grateful.

But despite having earplugs in, I was still overstimulated.

I wanted to say something funny to Abby, but when I realized that the words wouldn’t come out, I thought “Oh well, it wasn’t that important anyway.”

But then I thought, “Wait, I have AAC. Why not use it?”

Instead of being complacent with not expressing my thoughts (which is what I normally do), I decided I should use every tool available to communicate.

So I pulled out my phone, opened one of my AAC apps, and started typing the phrase I had been wanting to say.

That decision was probably a life-changing one, now that I think about it.

I’ve used my AAC before in shutdowns and meltdowns, but never just because I was feeling too overstimulated to talk (while being completely fine otherwise).

It felt incredibly liberating.

I shouldn’t be so comfortable with not expressing myself when I’m having a hard time with speech.

It can feel very isolating and sad at times, because I know that the people around me would like to hear what I have to say, if it were possible for me to speak.

I’ve gone through my whole life that way.

Becoming quiet when I’m overwhelmed, never really trying to break through the silence unless what I want to say is extremely important.

But yesterday I realized something: everything I want to say is important.

My friends care about me, they think I’m funny, they value my presence, and they want to know what I have to say.

Why should I deny them that? Why should I deny myself that opportunity for connection?

I shouldn’t. And yesterday, for the first time, I didn’t.

Everyone should use AAC if they need to. The more people who do so, the more normalized it becomes in our societies.

Not speaking is not the same as not having anything to say.

And if you have something to say, you should say it in whatever way you can.