i understand we all come from different walks of life and upbringing but i am genuinely too sensitive to be friends with people who are inconsiderate. the ones that act without thinking about how their actions may affect you especially after they claim to care so much.
i genuinely just ask for basic communication most of the time. if you show me that you’re incapable of the bare minimum, then for my mental health i have to take a step back. i’m also super confused when people’s actions do not match their words. i don’t like feeling lied to.
i appreciate when they come around & finally get to explain why they neglected me or abandoned me but i can’t do nothing with this. i hear you but i do not necessarily forgive you. i hear you but now we go our separate ways because you sincerely did not have to do me like that.
because at the end of the day, you chose that. you had a choice, we all do and you chose to be inconsiderate. you chose to ghost. you chose to abandon. i’ve been done making excuses for people. accept that they meant that shit & expected you to welcome them back with open arms.
we stay tryna justify shit bc of people’s fucked up pasts but it’s like you’re not fucking special bro. most people have a fucked up past! & we still out here adjusting, trying our best & showing up for people & ourselves.
everyone’s different but i know a lack of effort when i see it. when you’re an overly considerate and understanding person, you get fucked over easily by people who literally refuse to change their toxic behaviors.
but one day you’re gonna wake up & realize the leniency you grant them, they’d never grant you. that’s when you ask yourself what the fuck am i doing. i deserve the same love and understanding i give to others period. you should strive for that not fight for that.
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I’ve been doing some deep reflecting on the concept of inner child healing and what that even really means. I know we all hear about tending to our inner child and it may be simplified to “taking up a lost hobby” or “spending time doing things we used to love doing”.
These are great suggestions but I still wondered what it really means to heal one’s inner child.
I realize now that the work is never really done. We hear the saying that healing isn’t linear all the time but is it even possible to achieve an obsolete and concrete healed version
of ourselves? I’m not sure, I’ll let you know how I feel about that if I’m lucky to live 40 more years. What I do know is, every one of us lacked some version of love or attention in our childhood. Whether we realize it or not, whether it was deeply traumatic or not.
༄ king of cups reflection ༄
to whom this may concern, at times life gets rough. things are chaotic & extremely out of our control. the secret to maintaining sanity is allowing things to be as they are. allow the chaos around you to ensue because it is around you & not within you
not stooping to their level is a skill. refusing to mirror their toxic behavior that you naturally do not subscribe to is a skill. to choose compassion, patience and to keep the peace because you know their projections are not true reflections of you.
knowing so deeply within you that you are capable of great things even though life gets hard & may have significant effects on your mental health. even though that will inevitably have effects on your work ethic & productivity. the goal is to keep getting back up & trying again.
that fear of abandonment be fucking people up during intimate relationships. without doing that shadow work about where that fear comes from and working everyday to understand it and disprove it logically, the relationships always end up catastrophic and rollercoastery.
it's sad seeing the love bomb in the beginning or one give off an unreasonable amount of passion and intensity because they want to win someone over real bad to ensure they don't leave. then when they get a slight hint of dissatisfaction from their partner they start panicking.
it sucks when they think no matter how good things seem, the relationship is doomed. then its hard for them to believe that people will actually be there for them so they start self-sabotaging & projecting unreliable personality traits on the person who is really there for them.
cancer 🕯careful who and what you try to make a home out of. home is within you, it always was and it always will be. there’s a theme of needing harmony in a situation but being too blind emotionally to efficiently achieve that. don’t overwork yourself with this one.
cancer 🕯you need to ground yourself in reality for a moment. look at things realistically, you cannot manipulate this situation. it simply is what it is. you had high hopes for it and it let you down not once but twice or more. all that glitters absolutely is not gold.
cancer 🕯it’s not that you didn’t see this coming, you did. a mile away in fact. you just wanted to be wrong about it because the attachment & company felt good. now there’s no ignoring what’s upfront of you. don’t sell yourself short by trying to dust things under the rug.
leo⏳it seems like you haven’t been feeling appreciated by those around you & enough is enough. i sense a deep feeling of regret & disappointment. also some disbelief because you may be telling yourself “i did everything right so how did it end up like this”.
leo⏳lack of reciprocation from friends, family & partners seems to be a reoccurring theme for you. it’s time to stop asking why are they doing this to me & more so what can i change about myself to better avoid these uncomfortable dynamics i keep finding myself in.
leo⏳now this doesn’t mean it’s your fault but it’s time to look inward at what draws you into to these people that inevitably let you down. aside from that, i see you have an issue with projecting an image onto someone.
i think lack of motivation & energy in an individual whether it be random or due to a depressive episode, is definitely a touchy subject but one that needs to be spoken about regardless. if our therapists are not helping us, then we need to help us. by any means necessary.
when an individual is not ready or in a deep state of self doubt, any solution regardless of how it’s delivered can feel like an attack. this is a symptom i know that. doesn’t mean i’ll stop trying to get my loved ones or twitter family to move they body. 🦋
but even anger in a response can highlight to the individual, where they are at in their healing process and what more still has to be done. emotions and expression, no matter which ones, are better than nothing. you are angry? okay good what are we gonna do with that anger.