A lady came to see me in my office
She talked on and on about her husband
He was a good man, a wealthy man but a man whose orientation was based on the idea that the wife is an "outsider"
He would often say "A wife can leave at any time, so a wife is not family but children are"
She talked on and on about her husband
He was a good man, a wealthy man but a man whose orientation was based on the idea that the wife is an "outsider"
He would often say "A wife can leave at any time, so a wife is not family but children are"
This philosophy pervaded his life
He would buy properties and keep all the documents with his older brother
The house he built in his village was mostly for the comfort of his relatives
His wife said whenever they travel to the village, her husband's relatives will take over the
He would buy properties and keep all the documents with his older brother
The house he built in his village was mostly for the comfort of his relatives
His wife said whenever they travel to the village, her husband's relatives will take over the
house, cook whatever they wanted or sleep wherever they wanted without any regard for her
She felt like an outsider, exactly as her husband described a wife to be
She wanted to leave the marriage
She said her husband would rather listen to his people than her and most times take
She felt like an outsider, exactly as her husband described a wife to be
She wanted to leave the marriage
She said her husband would rather listen to his people than her and most times take
decisions without even consulting with her
She was at her wit's end when we met
She wanted God to change her husband so that he can support her emotionally and treat her as a man ought to treat his wife
That was her prayer request, her heart cry
I listened to her and we prayed
She was at her wit's end when we met
She wanted God to change her husband so that he can support her emotionally and treat her as a man ought to treat his wife
That was her prayer request, her heart cry
I listened to her and we prayed
One month later, her husband decided to relocate her and her three children to Canada
Her last child was diagnosed with autism and her husband felt she would get better care over there
The process began and within six months she was out of the country
She was very happy with the
Her last child was diagnosed with autism and her husband felt she would get better care over there
The process began and within six months she was out of the country
She was very happy with the
development
Her husband has not changed but she was free of his family members and the constant denigration
She would be by herself and breathe some free air
She got to Canada and was fortunate to get a good job with a logistics firm
She didn't tell her husband about the job...
Her husband has not changed but she was free of his family members and the constant denigration
She would be by herself and breathe some free air
She got to Canada and was fortunate to get a good job with a logistics firm
She didn't tell her husband about the job...
Her husband continued to support her and the children from their home country
Two years after she got to Canada, her husband got involved in a labour dispute with the oil company he was working with and he lost his job with eleven other people
The labour union took up the case
Two years after she got to Canada, her husband got involved in a labour dispute with the oil company he was working with and he lost his job with eleven other people
The labour union took up the case
They expected that the case would be resolved quickly but it was not
It dragged on and on
About four months after losing his job, her husband decided to travel to Canada and spend some time with his family
He called a friend of his in Canada and arranged to be picked up at the
It dragged on and on
About four months after losing his job, her husband decided to travel to Canada and spend some time with his family
He called a friend of his in Canada and arranged to be picked up at the
airport
When he got to his house, he was shocked to meet his wife's mother at home with the children
His wife never told him she started working not to talk of moving her mother to Canada to babysit
He took everything he saw in stride
He felt his wife's decision to get a job was
When he got to his house, he was shocked to meet his wife's mother at home with the children
His wife never told him she started working not to talk of moving her mother to Canada to babysit
He took everything he saw in stride
He felt his wife's decision to get a job was
in response to the issues he had at work and considered it a positive
With that in mind, he understood why his wife brought her mother to Canada to help her out
When his wife got home from the office, later that day, he welcomed her with a smile and great joy
He told her he didnt
With that in mind, he understood why his wife brought her mother to Canada to help her out
When his wife got home from the office, later that day, he welcomed her with a smile and great joy
He told her he didnt
inform her he was coming because he didn't want to stress her unnecessarily
It was a happy reunion
The Union continued to insist that those the company sacked must be given their jobs back
He was in the thick of it even from afar, so he was always on the phone even while he was
It was a happy reunion
The Union continued to insist that those the company sacked must be given their jobs back
He was in the thick of it even from afar, so he was always on the phone even while he was
far away in Canada
One Sunday morning, just as they got home from church, he received a call and had to step out of the house to pick it
He had a favourite spot in their compound where he loved to stand while receiving confidential calls
Naturally he was a soft-spoken man but the
One Sunday morning, just as they got home from church, he received a call and had to step out of the house to pick it
He had a favourite spot in their compound where he loved to stand while receiving confidential calls
Naturally he was a soft-spoken man but the
issue he had with the union was between him and his wife
He felt he would lose respect if his wife's family members got to know that he was no longer working with the oil company
Money was a strong factor in their culture
As he stood listening to the conversation on his phone
He felt he would lose respect if his wife's family members got to know that he was no longer working with the oil company
Money was a strong factor in their culture
As he stood listening to the conversation on his phone
He overheard a conversation between his wife and her mother
His wife's mother was talking to his wife about a charm she has which helped her to control her husband (His wife's father) and through which she was able to secure most of his properties after he died without any family
His wife's mother was talking to his wife about a charm she has which helped her to control her husband (His wife's father) and through which she was able to secure most of his properties after he died without any family
interference
It was in the course of the conversation that he heard that his wife had been working for a long time and was earning way more than she disclosed to him
He also realized that his lack of a job at that time was not news to his wife's mother
It was galling to him
It was in the course of the conversation that he heard that his wife had been working for a long time and was earning way more than she disclosed to him
He also realized that his lack of a job at that time was not news to his wife's mother
It was galling to him
From what he overheard, his wife was counseled to use the charm on him so that he would travel home, bring back all the documents he had kept away from her so that she can secure her future and that of her children in case he didn't get his job back and decided to start selling
his properties
It was crazy
He sneaked back into the house, pondering on what he had heard
Later that day when it was time to eat, he declared that he had started a three days fast
The next day, as soon as his wife left for her office, he started packing his bags
Within an hour,
It was crazy
He sneaked back into the house, pondering on what he had heard
Later that day when it was time to eat, he declared that he had started a three days fast
The next day, as soon as his wife left for her office, he started packing his bags
Within an hour,
he left the house claiming the labour issues he had back home needed his attention
He knew his wife and her mother had agreed to use fetish means to manipulate him, but he didn't want to sit around claiming the charm couldn't work on him when he could flee
So he fled
He slept
He knew his wife and her mother had agreed to use fetish means to manipulate him, but he didn't want to sit around claiming the charm couldn't work on him when he could flee
So he fled
He slept
in a hotel that day while he booked his flight back home
He didn't say a word to his wife until he got back to his country
He sent her a mail detailing everything he heard and how disappointed he was
He said he wanted a divorce because he couldn't bring himself to trust her any
He didn't say a word to his wife until he got back to his country
He sent her a mail detailing everything he heard and how disappointed he was
He said he wanted a divorce because he couldn't bring himself to trust her any
more
He wished her well in her future endeavors
As soon as she read the mail, she started calling him on the phone
She felt she needed to explain
She felt what he claimed he heard was not only defamatory but scandalous
She needed to put everything in the right context for him
He wished her well in her future endeavors
As soon as she read the mail, she started calling him on the phone
She felt she needed to explain
She felt what he claimed he heard was not only defamatory but scandalous
She needed to put everything in the right context for him
but he refused to pick her call
He just didn't want anything to do with her again
So she called me
She explained everything that had happened and how much she needed to explain her side of the story so that her husband does not go about claiming all sorts and spreading all sorts
He just didn't want anything to do with her again
So she called me
She explained everything that had happened and how much she needed to explain her side of the story so that her husband does not go about claiming all sorts and spreading all sorts
about her to people
She said her reputation was important to her
She cried a lot
She also sent me her husband's number
Please call him and "talk some Holy Spirit into him"
I listened to her and told her I will get back to her after speaking with her husband
I waited on the Holy
She said her reputation was important to her
She cried a lot
She also sent me her husband's number
Please call him and "talk some Holy Spirit into him"
I listened to her and told her I will get back to her after speaking with her husband
I waited on the Holy
Spirit for one day before calling her husband
Her husband said when she met her, she was a very down to earth and honest woman
He said he loved her from afar before asking her to marry him
He said when they went to her family house for their introduction
He noticed something very
Her husband said when she met her, she was a very down to earth and honest woman
He said he loved her from afar before asking her to marry him
He said when they went to her family house for their introduction
He noticed something very
odd
Her mother was the head of the family
He said it was so glaring that her mother was the one controlling her father
He said her father couldn't say a word without her mother's nod of approval
He said it was evident for everyone to see
As if her mother was using the occasion to
Her mother was the head of the family
He said it was so glaring that her mother was the one controlling her father
He said her father couldn't say a word without her mother's nod of approval
He said it was evident for everyone to see
As if her mother was using the occasion to
make a statement of her power over her father
He said he would have backed out of the wedding but for his love for her and his trust that she would not turn out like her mother
He said all the documents she kept away from her was as a result of what he saw during the introduction
He said he would have backed out of the wedding but for his love for her and his trust that she would not turn out like her mother
He said all the documents she kept away from her was as a result of what he saw during the introduction
He said he kept the documents with the bank but deliberately insisted it was with his older family members so that his wife will not kill him just as his wife's mother killed her husband eight months after their wedding
He said a lot of things
It was quite normal to do so while
He said a lot of things
It was quite normal to do so while
hurting
He concluded by saying he didn't want the marriage again and that he wouldn't be sending any support to his wife in Canada
He said she can either keep the children or bring them to him if she couldn't care for them herself
We prayed and he rang off
I turned to the Holy
He concluded by saying he didn't want the marriage again and that he wouldn't be sending any support to his wife in Canada
He said she can either keep the children or bring them to him if she couldn't care for them herself
We prayed and he rang off
I turned to the Holy
Spirit
What do I do here sir? I asked
Silence...
I too kept quiet
I didn't call either the husband or the wife but I continued to pray for them
He got his job back during the Ephaphata Programme we had in May 2020
In July, his wife's mother left her because without his support
What do I do here sir? I asked
Silence...
I too kept quiet
I didn't call either the husband or the wife but I continued to pray for them
He got his job back during the Ephaphata Programme we had in May 2020
In July, his wife's mother left her because without his support
things became difficult
She called asking me to talk to him to help out in anyway he can for the children
I called him and he said he would take her back with the children if she would return to Nigeria without delay
We talked and she agreed to return to Nigeria as soon as the
She called asking me to talk to him to help out in anyway he can for the children
I called him and he said he would take her back with the children if she would return to Nigeria without delay
We talked and she agreed to return to Nigeria as soon as the
lockdown eased
She eventually returned to Nigeria with her children in November 2020
A lot of talks and apologies went round
She promised to keep her mother far away from their home
He brought home all the documents and they reconciled finally on December 25, 2020
Hallelujah!
She eventually returned to Nigeria with her children in November 2020
A lot of talks and apologies went round
She promised to keep her mother far away from their home
He brought home all the documents and they reconciled finally on December 25, 2020
Hallelujah!
PS: Her mother's conduct during her introduction indirectly caused her several years of joy in the marriage
His reaction was a bit extreme and so was hers
Let us communicate as couples, even when the topic being discussed is not palatable
It is the only way to kill resentments
His reaction was a bit extreme and so was hers
Let us communicate as couples, even when the topic being discussed is not palatable
It is the only way to kill resentments
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