7:55am >> Alarm clock goes off, hits snooze button and finally gets out of bed to change
8:00am >> alarm clock goes off again and hits because he keeps his clock next to his bed so he doesn’t have to stand up to get to the desk
8:20am >> Just got out of the shower and is now running **10 minutes late** see above
8:30am >> Gets into his car
“Oh my god I can’t believe this traffic I don’t think i’ll be able to make it to Starbucks!”
8:55am >> “Well I’ve got about 5 minutes i know the Barrista I have been trying to hit on for the last five years knows my drink I should be okay”
Gets his drink, pays $4 and heads to work
9:03am >> Arrives at work
The three minute delta is no big deal because no one cares about his work anyway
9:05am – 10:15am >> Reads a bunch of important news articles on “Yahoo” and “Shine” about dating and lifting weights
Ignores the fact that the articles are
written by overweight 40 year old women
10:15am >> “All corporations are gross so I better check my paystub to make sure I am still getting paid!”
Logs into overdrawn checking account
“Yep still making $10 an hour”
11:00am >> It’s getting close to lunch. “Hmm ,that girl is cute, I haven’t talked to her in person for the last 2 yrs but it probably makes sense to ask her out to lunch”
Messages girl through internal chat
Her response “Hey sorry I don’t think so, i have other plans”
11:30am >> It’s lunch break time
No time to pack lunch because he was **wayyyyy** too busy this morning
Goes out to Chipotle to buy lunch where for some reason CNN is playing in the background. It’s about Wall Street
“Oh my god those dirty corporate bankers are taking all of my money with no work ethic whatsoever, I could ‘EASILY’ do their job any day of the week”
11:45am >> Sits down to eat his Chicken burrito (may as well save 50 cents right?), he eats lunch with his *friends*
Over the next 45 minutes they refresh their Facebook, Twitter, Instagram accounts 75 times checking out that “cute girl” from when they were back in high school
Living in the past
12:30pm >> Arrives back at his desk
Goes onto Indeed and other job sites realizing he has similar qualifications for multiple jobs that pay $10K higher on an annual basis
Does not send in resume
Begins doing work for the first time in the day
1:30pm >> Gets email from admins in the office
“Company Happy Hour Today!”
Jumps for joy!
“Oh man i can’t wait I love happy hour we get drinks for like $2 and maybe that cute girl i just messaged will tell me she likes me!!!!!!"
Continues to do some minimal work
3:00pm >> Does minimal work
Reads a few fitness articles on “cross fit”
Doesn’t realize all of the people on crossfit look awful and the program is tailored for women
Also realizes he signed up for the gym but has not gone for the last 3 years
5:00pm >> Well at least he got some work done between 12:30 and 5:00pm
It’s time for happy hour!
I can’t go to the gym today because maybe that girl likes me!
5:30pm >> Arrives at happy hour
Cute girl does not show up
The ball game is on, March Madness
“Oh my god man i can’t believe people think XYZ team is going to win, that’s not possible, Number 33 averages 26.72364617176525 points per game and 6.28363345 rebounds...
No way the other team wins man, I bet you, I bet you whatever you want man”
His boss turns to him and says okay I’ll bet you $10
“Nah man I don’t bet money on stuff man, lets just make it a friendly bet”
Boss looks at him, squints “sure”
8:00pm >> **His** team lost
Of course he's never played a sport before in his life
Now the conversation is turning *philosophical*
“Man yeah, i can’t believe those sports players get paid so much its dumb they shouldn’t be paid more than doctors they should be paid much less”
His friend slightly nods his head, his boss already left the building
A man in a TShirt is standing behind them and asks “If he’s overpaid why do people pay so much to watch the games?”
Neither of them have an answer
9:00pm >> On his way home he remembers that there were over 20 attractive women at the bar who he did not speak to
Man that guy in the TShirt was a real jerk
He was probably some uptight Degen gu
I’m going to **fight him** the next time something like that happens
10:00pm >> Finally goes to bed with an extensive hangover and a slightly lighter bank account
“Man I wish i had time...“
I WISH I HAD TIME...
FIN!!
If you despise such losers, then you should follow @BowTiedBull
for winning life advice that's lived by them
A Thread on understanding how Sales is related to Emotions 👇
>> Did you just 'Like' a Tweet?
Why?
• Was it the message?
• Or the way it was presented (structure+language)?
• Was it because u know the author?
• Or did it confirm any of your existing bias?
>> Did you buy something instantly?
Pause to think about how exactly u were persuaded to buy
• Did they evoke FOMO by saying "low price today only"?
• Did it come from a person you regard highly?
• Did some recent new belief made u buy? ("spend money to earn money!")
🔹🔹Things You Should Realize After 1 Year On the Job - PART I 🔹🔹
To help you jump ahead in the learning curve, or in other cases question your own decisions, here are 20 things you should realize after a single year of work experience (10 here 10 in next thread)
A Thread 👇
1. $100K IS NOT A LOT OF MONEY
Not even close
If you are making $100K a year that's approximately $5,000 in post tax income per month
With the average rent for a studio in a major city like NYC at $2K+ this means that you cannot even afford to live there (using the 1/3 of income as rent rule, you need at least $6K post tax)