darth™ Profile picture
27 May, 4 tweets, 1 min read
ted cruz probably would have just eaten it manu
have to admit until this video i had no idea how ginormous those bugs are omfg
i once had a ginormous bug land on my head and i tried to swipe it off but it kind of clung there until i finally knocked it free and then for the next two hours i was convinced it was still there and kept swiping at my head nervously
i am glad no one saw me

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More from @darth

27 May
and it is a small thing to be sure in the larger scheme of things
but ice cream is best in a cone
this is just my opinion
fine then lets do a poll
ice cream is best in:
Read 8 tweets
19 May
"NO BODY CARES THAT YOU SOLD ALL YOUR BIT COIN LAST WEEK DAVE NO BODY WANTS TO HEAR ABOUT IT"
"ANY BODY ELSE HAVE FASCINATING CRYPTO CURRENCY NEWS THEY WANT TO SHARE TODAY ANY BODY" shiba in meeting wearing cowboy hat
"WHEN I TOLD YOU TO BUY THE DIP DAVE I MEANT PICK UP SOME QUESO ON THE WAY TO WORK DAVE NOW WE HAVE CHIPS WITH NO QUESO" shiba wearing cowboy hat in meeting with a megaphone
Read 4 tweets
14 May
men u are not taking on a goose
get over yourself
that goose will kick your ass
untitled goose game was a documentary u fools
cartoon darth chasing a goose who stole its lightsaber from
Read 11 tweets
14 May
omfg someone just tweeted a photo of trump looking straight at the fuckin eclipse and i thought i had dreamed that
like no way did that fuckin happen right
all the warnings for weeks beforehand every body including melania standing around wearing sunglasses and he just looks straight up at the fuckin eclipse
Read 5 tweets
14 May
how long does it take to properly carmelize onions in a pan
also do not use a ceramic pan u will never get it clean i am serious
Read 4 tweets
13 May
GO GET VACCINATED NEW YORK
i have never been to a shake shack
do people get the cheese sauce just for the french fries or is it for the burger as well
Read 4 tweets

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