darth™

Follow @darth

14 May, 4 tweets, 1 min read

THIS ONION RELISH IS INNOCENT

https://twitter.com/Weasel3071/status/1392468808242192385

how long does it take to properly carmelize onions in a pan

also do not use a ceramic pan u will never get it clean i am serious

and i *liked* my ceramic pan for the two months it was clean but they stain so easily and then the surface is never the same your experience may differ

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More from @darth

darth™

@darth

14 May

men u are not taking on a goose
get over yourself
that goose will kick your ass

https://twitter.com/crampell/status/1393250065909694464

untitled goose game was a documentary u fools

cartoon darth chasing a goo...

darth™

@darth

14 May

omfg someone just tweeted a photo of trump looking straight at the fuckin eclipse and i thought i had dreamed that

like no way did that fuckin happen right

all the warnings for weeks beforehand every body including melania standing around wearing sunglasses and he just looks straight up at the fuckin eclipse

darth™

@darth

13 May

wait...wat

https://twitter.com/katie_honan/status/1392850103493349382

GO GET VACCINATED NEW YORK

i have never been to a shake shack
do people get the cheese sauce just for the french fries or is it for the burger as well

darth™

@darth

13 May

from the mixed-up files of mrs. basil e. frankweiler

https://twitter.com/LaurenGolden__/status/1392583949877186561

and the pushcart war

https://twitter.com/OrangeandPloo/status/1392673700802084866

when i first read from the mixed-up files of mrs. basil e. frankweiler one thing that stuck with me was there was a place to eat in new york city called chock full o nuts
i knew it had to be great

darth™

@darth

12 May

just the shittiest people

https://twitter.com/jeffzeleny/status/1392271243626287104

why not stay and listen and then rebut her statements and stand up for what you think she is bullshitting u about

hiding in the fuckin cloakroom really shows how fuckin pathetic this entire party is

darth™

@darth

11 May

your phone answering machines had little magnetic tape cassettes in them that u had to fast forward and rewind to hear phone calls u missed
i am serious
there were little cassettes inside

https://twitter.com/BigJacks/status/1391814262813827073

and the biggest fear u had coming home was seeing that fuckin answering machine light blinking which meant some body called u

and left a message

getting rid of a home phone line was liberating not because u had a cell phone now but because u could get rid of the answering machine

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