An incident on a 7am @ArikAirlineNg fight to Benin at the Lagos airport left me a lot more understanding of delays caused by “operational reasons”.

So I got to the airport early o; checked in early; boarded early.

Plane started taxing down the runway. Then it stopped.
Ah ah. Engine is turned off. Wetin dey happen?

Pilot says over the intercom: Sorry ladies and gentlemen, we have to deal with an issue.

He comes out of the cockpit and asks his crew to open the door, then goes back in.

Wetin dey happen o?!?
One lady in business class has brought in a piece of luggage that was too big for the overhead lockers. She was also seated at an emergency exit.

They had told her to put it up; she said no. They then told her they would have to check it in. She wanted it with her; they said no.
So they tagged it and took it off the plane. Na there wahala start.

Time for that safety briefing they give exit row passengers, madam no answer them. “You have to take part or change seats”; madam told them to get out.

Ah.

They went to tell the pilot.
Pilot said tell her if she doesn’t take part or change seats, he will kick her off his plane.

By this time we don dey taxi, on schedule.

Madam just ignore them dey press phone. Na iim plane stop for middle of side runway o.

We were there for one full hour.
Pilot said she must disembark. Madam said do you know who I am?

One full hour.

By this time they had taken her bag off the plane. Madam dey make calls furiously.

A huge Airforce security guy comes on, and madam is marched off the plane.

We were finally able to take off.
I can just imagine people in Benin waiting to get to Abuja.

“Your flight has been delayed for another 30 minutes due to operational reasons.”

Person no go know say na one coconut head wey no get sense cause am. 😂

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More from @ose_anenih

9 May
A wise man told me that Buhari did not create these divisions, he merely exposed them

I think about the outrage when Boko Haram raised flags in Nigerian towns in 2014; the derision when the military drove them out in 2015

“Too little, too late”, people crowed. “We want change”.
Today, the outrage has been replaced by a chilling silence, as Boko Haram raises flags and levies taxes and kills citizen and soldier alike.

And all of this in next door Niger State, an hour and a half away from Abuja.

No outrage. No protests. Just...silence.
A wise woman once told me that the South is afflicted with a disease called political correctness.

I think about this a lot when I recall the opprobrium heaped on @stellaoduah for the procurement of armoured cars by a parastatal under her. I think about her sack by @GEJonathan.
Read 8 tweets
20 Jul 20
The Face of Corruption.

A @NetflixNaija Original
Produced by @OfficialAPCNg
Directed by @MBuhari

Act 1
It was over even before it began for @ProfPondei when @BTOofficial, Chairman of the @HouseNGR recused himself over claims that he had a vendetta against Pondei & the NDDC
Act 2
Pondei fails to realise that his victory would be short lived, as the House of Reps zeroes in on the one criminal allegation they can prove: extra-budgetary expenditure.

They quietly flank him on the left. His ED Projects Dr. Cairo, senses the danger, and starts panicking.
Act 3

Dr. Cairo (whispers angrily): tell them the N1.3bn is covered under welfare!

Prof. Pondei: welfare? Hmm.

The Committee asks Pondei to speak to the 2019 NDDC approved budget.

Pondei claims he doesn’t have it. Check.

The Committee asks the Clerk to provide it. Checkmate.
Read 6 tweets
13 Jul 20
@saniyusuf Happy to break it down for you:

1. The industrialization of the North argument. Not a business-case focus on the SW and Lagos, or SE, or even industrial gas-powered clusters in the ND? What competitive advantage does Kano hold in the production of petrochemical goods?
@saniyusuf 2. We have existing gas-fed power plants struggling with gas supply and transmission. We don’t have light. Common sense would suggest all funds be users to solve those immediate problems if the aim is truly to kickstart an industrial revolution.
@saniyusuf 3. As an aside he mentions the wasteful prospecting of oil in the North by NNPC, then justifies the viability of the pipeline by saying demand for oil will dry up. You can’t eat your oily cake and have your gas pie.
Read 6 tweets
28 Mar 20
A few random thoughts on @mbuhari and #COVID19

“When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth” - Sherlock Holmes

1. I believe that Buhari is GRAVELY ill.
2. I believe the patriots around him are hiding this information from us.
3. I do not know where the President is, but if (as has been reported) his Chief of Staff Abba Kyari is receiving medical attention in the UK, I suspect Buhari has been flown out as well.

4. This same EXACT scenario played out in 2009/10 with President Yar’Adua.
5. Now, like then, the National Assembly has called for the President to address the nation.

6. Now, like then, the Cabal has responded with dodgy pictures & faceless ‘presidential’ statements.

7. How’s it possible that people are able to effectively hold our President hostage?
Read 10 tweets
12 Mar 20
Dear diary,

It has been exactly 28 days since I returned from the abroad.

Walahi I am going mad.

What is all this? Take me to London, Abba said no, there is firus. Toh, let me go and greet my good friend Donald, he said there is virus there too.

So what do they want me to do?
The other day they carried me to Ondo to commission road Gov. Amosun has built. Today they said I should go to Argungu to look at fish.

Fish!

I was even happy. I thought it was in Chad. I even told Aisha to dust my passport. Till we now landed in Kebbi. What rubbish!
The only good thing about this whole mess is that it seems Aisha is coming to her senses.

She has been fighting for me to travel. She knows how much I love aeroplane food and she has been harassing my CoS that even if I cannot go to London I should go to Italy.

I appreciate her
Read 4 tweets
23 Jan 20
Let’s cook conspiracy theories about why @realDonaldTrump might extend his travel ban to Nigeria.

Suspend disbelief:

1. It’s an election year. Voters love war & a crackdown on job-stealing immigration. He’s ‘won’ his showdown with Iran, now it’s time to get tough on immigrants.
2. Security concerns. The White House has said a travel ban helps it prevent terrorists from coming into the US.

Nigeria would need to show compliance with US-standard travel and ID security protocols, against the backdrop of rising security threats here in Nigeria.
3a. Trump simply doesn’t care about Nigeria:

He thinks the country is a shithole; her President @MBuhari is lifeless; and if granted visas Nigerians would never return to their huts in Africa (FYI the country with the highest rate of visa overstays in the US is Nigeria).
Read 11 tweets

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