Thread by @Bdubs1776

@JohnsonJeffro vs @KasimirUrbanski Pit Fight
The tongueless bard with a palor of death walks the pit beneath the Silken Pony Inn. The sands rblack w blood. A night of bouts has the crowd raccous 4 more. The bard speaks with a haunting voice from the outer realms 1/
#dnd #brosr

This is in game fiction I already rolled. I’m narrating the event here for you, the people. 2/
#acks #auranempire #brosr #biggerpits

Every Blood Moon these scum and vagabonds of the city of Cyfaraun gather for such bloodletting. Tonight’s main event was especially anticipated. Odds were 3 to 1 in favor of RPGPundit and the bookies struggle to keep up with bets. 3/
#brosr #auranempire #acks #dnd

“No love is lost between our next competitors Jeffro ‘modules suck’ Johnson & Kasmir ‘Check out Lion & Dragon’ Urbanski”. Deafening cheers. The competitors enter unarmed but the bard tosses some random weapons into the center: a length of chain, a mason’s hammer, and a stick. 4/

“These men are but Auran citizens agreeing to this death match for pride, honor, and the fate of #osr style #dnd ! Also ‘modules suck’ Johnson kidnapped his opponents cat Big Chungus!” Boos. “He is a wily sort, climbing the Dark Hills for sport!” 5/

“But Urbanski has grown healthy on the foods of the mysterious lands of South America! He traveled far for his revenge! Now we honor their hunger for vengeance, we honor the blood moon! Fight!” Cheers and howls as the competitors circle one another. 6/

Jeffro goes for the chain but Pundit bowls him over. Both fall to the ground. Sand kicks up as the hammer flops near Pundit who grabs it up. He chases Jeffro around the pit with it who anime jumps off the wall, landing right near the chain; grabbing it up with a Kubrick grin. 7/

Jeffro whips the chain around his head as patrons in the crowd moan; this has tilted the odds sharply against their bet! Pundit dodges and ducks, takes the chain to a well padded forearm trying to catch it. “Appendix A is more useful than Appendix N!” He yells at Jeffro. 8/

Jeffro pulls his Canadian competitor towards him w the chain. “U need a foundation of pulp literature to run a #realdnd campaign, you shill!”, Jeffro retorts. He’s cut short as the Mason hammer beats at the back of his hand, the sound of breaking bones cutting thru the noise 9/

Pundit laughs with his Seth rogen accent as Jeffro holds his broken hand in pain. “This pain is worse than 5e,” he cries out. “I was consulted on that, you blowhard! It’s an old school system!!!” Pundit yells as he charges Jeffro angrily. 10/

Jeffro sidesteps and gets the rusty chain around Pundit’s neck. His eyes bulge as the chain tightens. The crowd begins to chant “JEFFRO JEFFRO” as they realize the Pundit has lost. A crack as his neck breaks. Deafening cheers. Jeffro grins stating simply “1e wins again.” 11/11