Let's face it, it's not Toobin who's the shameless party here
maybe the reason it's so hard for young idiots to find jobs in journalism is because it's apparently impossible for the old idiots to be fired
CNN's 6-month worldwide talent search fails to find adequate substitute for the perceptive insight and intellectual gravitas of Zoomie the Masturbation Chimp
It's like the Washington Generals thinking they're finally gonna beat the Globetrotters by re-signing a 3rd string 5'1" point guard to a 10 year no-cut contract, a month after he was suspended for dry humping the rest of the benchwarmers
The worst thing about the Return of Toobin is that it's turned my Twitter mentions into Dick Joke Amateur Night
The point of this isn't dick jokes; the point is that had he been in any other profession on Earth, Jeffrey Toobin would now be standing on a street corner spinning a plastic sign for a mattress store sale
Someday, maybe the journalism biz will adopt the high ethical standards of the carny profession

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Quick review of the guidelines:
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Before proceeding to today's IDs, please read and agree to our Terms of Service:
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