its 2:44am and im sad again. and i cant write. this is a struggle posts account until further notice
being sad for weeks at a time without interruption is a real bummer
not even the cool russian toska kind of sad just a grimy self-enveloped pustulent disappointed kind of sad. like a piece of asphalt that smells like piss, not a desolate garden in shambles or etc
im not even having a cool mental breakdown like partying too much or idk speeding (?) or promiscuity i just wake up sad, am sad all day, and cant sleep because im sad. if this sounds repetitive living it is too!! yes im getting as much help as i can but in the interim...
just wish i could afford to take 2 weeks off tbh
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