Thread by @rant_rn

Capt. Dong & the HMCS Oiratno

DONG: All aboard! This is the finest ship in the Blue Fleet.

MYRTLE: Oh Harold. I'm so glad that we are booked on the 3rd deck.

HAROLD: Yes Honey. We will be so much closer to the 1st deck, that it was worth all the hassle.

1/...

DONG: Papers please.

HAROLD: Here they are Captain.

DONG: OK. Everything looks good. Proceed to the 4th deck. Forward cabins only.

MYRTLE: But Captain. We are booked on the 3rd deck.

2/...

DONG: Yes, yes...but everyone must start together on the 4th deck...at least until we get out to sea.

HAROLD: And how long will that take?!?

DONG: Oh...that would depend.

MYRTLE: Depend on what?!?

3/...

DONG: We will be looking at the situation every hour & update the passengers. It is for everyone's safety. EVERYONE must start on the 4th deck.

HAROLD: And those people heading up to the first deck?

DONG: They work for the Blue Fleet. They're allowed up there.

4/..

MYRTLE: And those people...the ones in the funny costumes?

DONG: They are the entertainment. They're allowed up there too.

HAROLD: Hmpf...well that doesn't make any sense. I thought you said that for SAFETY that EVERYONE must start on the 4th deck.

5/...

DONG: Absolutely. Everything we do is about safety. We have our best engineer on the job. He tells us exactly what needs to be done.

HAROLD: So...ONE engineer? Every consider a 2nd opinion?

6/...

DONG: Oh no. I only listen to MY engineer. He picked the right horse for me at the track when we were in college - and I've trusted him ever since.

DONG: ...and my good pal Nitsuj agreed with me.

7/...

ROAMIN: Excuse me Captain. Sorry to interrupt. My 2 colleagues, Blynder & Randill - & myself are on board with a conference of shipbuilding engineers. We think there are some serious issu....

DONG: I only listen to MY engineer. Move along. 4th deck, forward cabins.

8/...

MYRTLE: Captain, I am still wondering...we ALL need to be on the 4th deck for safety, right?

DONG: Correct. All based on...engineering.

MYRTLE: Then why are the Blue Fleet staff & entertainers allowed on the 1st deck? Is it safe? Is that based on engineering too?

9/...

DONG: It's based on a rule I made. They have free reign of the 1st deck because the laws of engineering don't affect them.

HAROLD: I think you mean "physics"....laws of physics.

MYRTLE: Captain...?

10/...

DONG: You two ask far too many questions. If you don't stop, I will send you to the brig. Move along. 4th deck. Forward cabins.

11/..

DONG: ...and stay in your cabins. No talking to other passengers. And if you get them asking questions....B-R-I-G! Hurry along, you are the last ones.

DONG: Oh look. Here comes MY engineer now. Hi Ding!

12/...

DING: Uh....Captain. It seems that I might have made some calculation errors with the course AND the safety parameters for weight distribution.

DONG: Nonsense. We already have a plan. Stick to it. Stay on course...and full speed ahead.

13/...

DING: But Captain. All of the other ships in our fleet...and a lot of other fleets...have made the necessary changes to correct my error. The new information is solid. Smoke sailing by all accounts.

DONG: Full speed ahead!

14/...

DING: But Captain...with all of the passengers in the forward cabins, the propellers are almost out of the water.

DONG: So?

DING: Even if we get out to sea, we will be adrift. The rest of the Blue Fleet...& all the other fleets will leave us behind.

15/...

DONG: Full speed ahead!

DING: But Captain....worse yet....our bow will be almost submerged when we are at sea. Even if we don't sink - the damage to the HCMS Oiratno & the lives of our passengers could be catastrophic! I think that you need to consider...

16/...

DONG: Ding...you're fired! Walk the plank, or something.

DONG: Someone get me a new engineer! One that will tell me to do...exactly what I tell him to tell me to do. Perhaps you could start looking in the penal colony of Notsgnik.

17/...

MYRTLE: Captain...?

DONG: You're still here?!?

MYRTLE: It looks like someone sewed one of the letters in your name upside down.

😉
THE END...kinda...

18/...

DISCLAIMER: Names have been changed to protect the....NOT so innocent.

FACT CHECK: Ding would never really admit that he was wrong!

H/T to Harold & Myrtle.

19/19

END....so they say...

@JustinTrudeau & @fordnation - A bedtime story just for you.
Sweet dreams!

[FYI: Look above boys. It's called a "thread". Read it all.]

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*HMCS

*smooth sailing