If you carry anxiety it is evidence you are human. Paul said, 'do not be anxious about anything' but he also said, 'I face daily anxiety over the churches.'

He used the same greek word for both.

It is difficult to notice God's presence when we're in the grip of anxiety.

1/
But over time, we can become more hyper aware of when anxiety starts its squeeze and we can pause and notice God. Not easy, but a worthwhile quest.

Anxiety is displaced by love and laughter.

John says 'perfect love casts out fear.'

2/
And of course by 'anxiety' I am addressing a specific form of it: chronic anxiety. There are other anxieties that are embodied and best treated by trauma therapy or medication.

3/
Chronic anxiety is the garden variety anxiety based on:
- false belief
- false assumption
- false need
- obsession over the other person. ("What are they thinking/what do they think of me/why do they do THAT?")

4/
This anxiety is human, and not evidence that you are a mild atheist.

:)

Technically, it is evidence that you are depending on self for well being, which generally leads to more anxiety.

5/5

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More from @stevecusswords

9 Jun
A ministry survival technique I wish I learned earlier:

Discerning between a person giving helpful feedback, a garden variety critic and a usual suspect critic.

At first, they can all look and feel the same, but they all operate differently and require different posture.

1/
They can all 'feel' the same at first. Most criticism and feedback stings, and I think ministry folks may be more prone to the sting because ministry is so personal to us. Our work and identity can be fused in unhealthy, but understandable ways. But over time...

2/
...We can discern and adjust to help our well being.

Helpful feedback: someone who genuinely sees a blindspot of yours, a pattern in your approach and leadership. They are for you, they are for the org, they are in it with you. Skin in the game.

3/
Read 14 tweets
7 Jun
The Inner Critic.

Ugh.

Its hard to dislodge the power and influence the IC has over us. Here is a helpful tool:

1. Find at least one other who cares about you and get together.

1/
2. Have your friend write down the messages your IC tells you as you share it.

3. Then ask her/him to write the adjectives of these messages, ex: 'harsh,' 'unrelenting,' 'condemning.' etc.

So now you have the actual messages on one line and descriptors on the other.

2/
4. Now write the descriptors of God's character and God's posture toward you. Patient, loving, kind etc.

5. What if I were at least as ________ to myself as God is.

3/
Read 18 tweets
4 Jun
Toward the end of the cuban missile crisis in 1962, tensions were rising and nuclear war was becoming a near certainty. Russia and Cuba were constructing a nuclear site on Cuba with a firing range that could devastate over 80% of USA’s land.

1/
Russia famously denied any such plan at the United Nations Meeting that year, but USA had spy photos confirming the activity.

Public threats, navy blockades, back channel communications. Kennedy vs Khrushchev.

2/
But also behind the scenes the Kennedy brothers were battling their own military brass who were itching to fight the communists.

On day 11 of the crisis, Khrushchev telexed the White House agreeing to pull out of Cuba. After all the meetings and threats the crisis was over.

3/
Read 11 tweets
29 Mar
Ways you can identify a 'usual suspect' critic vs a 'garden variety critic' or a 'helpful critic.'

1. No matter what you say, how often you meet, etc, they never come around. They don't want resolution.

2. They weaponize your insight against you.

1/
3. As much as you try to resolve, they never land, they just keep shifting the target.

4. They continue to embrace their own POV over the objective facts of the situation.

5. You give them too much real estate in your brain.

2/
Once you identify a usual suspect over other types....

1. Move them out of the corner office of your brain. They are usually tiny fraction of % of all your people, but you give them a large % of your mental energy and time.

3/
Read 5 tweets
20 Mar
One aspect of Family Systems Theory that I think is at risk of being lost is 'playfulness.' Students of FST like Friedman and Whittaker actually measured anxiety through the lens of playfulness, the opposite being earnestness.

1/
Playfulness doesn't mean you don't take matters seriously. Sometimes the more serious, the more important 'play time' is.

Playfulness is not only for people of privilege, it is a human need and a true antidote to anxiety's grip.

2/
In the 1950, Murray Bowen, founder of FST coined the term 'societal regression.' It became one of his 8 core concepts.

As he studied the way anxiety spreads between people, he kept moving his view wider and wider from couples to families to groups to an entire society.

3/
Read 14 tweets
12 Mar
I continue to explore tools and ramifications to decrease the grip of our Inner Critic.

It recently occurred to me that the message of the inner critic often fall into broad categories of:

- you must do it perfectly
- you must know the answer
- you must always love well.

1/
Wait a minute there, Inner Critic.

Are you suggesting we should be:

All knowing
Unconditionally loving?
Always there for people?
Perfect?

Does that sound like anyone you know?

2/
The very first temptation given to humans was:

'you can be like God.'

No. We cannot. We will never be like God. We can worship God and love God and follow God.

Most scandalous of all, we can enjoy God.

But we will never be like God.

3/
Read 7 tweets

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