Thread by @GailSimone

So, this just happened, for real. We decided to go kayaking, and we were in our cove which is pretty much just us. And we were just getting in and warmed up, @rocketspouse is by the short, his back to the land. I'm further out into the deeper water.

1/

And I turn around and look and notice there is a big bear right behind hubby on the shore in the vegetation. @RocketSpouse has no idea, not a clue, he's just getting his paddle grip situated. Bear. Right behind him, looking right at him.

2/

Now, I don't know the plan when you are in a kayak and a bear is RIGHT BEHIND you, maybe five feet.

So I don't know, do I yell at the bear, do I throw something at the bear, do I yell to warn @rocketspouse?

Fortunately, my finely-tuned survival instincts kicked in and...

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...I yelled out, "OH!"

That's me, Shanna The She-Devil.

When my hubby is about to be killed by a bear, I yell out, "OH!"

I am Steve Irwin of the forest, clearly.

4/

And hubby says, "What?"

And as my stunning follow-up, I say, "BEAR. Look, there's a BEAR."

And he turns around and YES THERE IS A BEAR.

5/

Hubby starts to paddle away, and for one second, bear moves towards the kayak, like he's going to go for a little swim and maybe eat a @rocketspouse.

Then he changed his mind and ran off towards our house.

But folks, if you are ever in this situation...

6/

...remember the universal anti-bear alarm.

It's "OH!"

And not like, "Oh, these are the best shrimp rolls I have ever had.."

More like, "OH! I forgot my keys."

Bears hate that.

7/

BONUS POINTS: Neither one of us peed.

End/

P.S.

OH.

That was actually scary!