The capital building has been simultaneously seized and released by radical centrists who have given an unspecified deadline, some day in the distant future when the time is right, for officials to comply with their demands for big changes in how we do nothing.
The shadowy centrist terrorist organization known as QUANTUM FOAM seeks to disrupt society by making very small changes, negative and positive, such that each one immediately cancels another one out completely.
"In a world where for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, we have the courage to say that the only true action is inaction," a hooded figure identified only as The Exescusioner said.
"It's kind of a play on 'excuse' and 'executioner' but I'm not sure it really comes through," they added. "I kind of regret going for it but my other idea was the Moderator, which misses the mark for already being a different thing. I didn't think this through."
"If I were writing this as a joke on the internet I definitely would feel like I should have stopped the thread before that point and probably by about the third tweet after I'd be seriously thinking about my choices."
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