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David Burge Profile picture
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20 Jul, 6 tweets, 2 min read
I'm not an expert on the behavior of sports fans, but I wonder if UT petitioning authorities to punish meanies who mock their hand gesture will have the desired effect
I don't have a dog in this fight, but I'm afraid that outside Toronto, Toledo OH, and Tennessee, "UT" refers to the University of Texas at Austin
I am willing to concede that "Tech" means Georgia
Sorry Vol fans, facts is facts

sbnation.com/college-footba…
Wait'll you find out what most people think KY is

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David Burge Profile picture
22 Jul
Sure- the #marblegame goes like this:

1. Every Power 5 team (+ND & BYU) starts with 200 marbles, all other FBS teams start with 100

2. Win at home, take 20% of your opponent's marbles, Win on road, take 25%

Nate Miller (@NateEMiller) coded the algorithm, here's the last time it was run in 2019. Running it last year was a waste of time because basically there were no inter-conference games.
thenemindex.blogspot.com/2019/12/iowaha…
I think one reasonable update to the algorithm is basing starting # of marbles on a team's schedule: 200 for each P5 opponent, 100 for each non-P5 FBS opponent, etc.

Rewards non-P5 teams with tough schedules, and penalizes P5 teams who schedule patsies.
Read 5 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
22 Jul
Can also confirm that 90% of the people running around half-naked have absolutely no business doing so
Never before have so many wore so little to cover so much
Not sure how we got to the point where I'm actually dressing women with my eyes, but here we are
Read 7 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
16 Jul
If the government wants to target people spreading COVID misinformation on the internet, they might as well shut down the whole thing at the breaker box
yes, there are Facebook anti-vaxxers and COVID conspiracy kooks. There is also a cable network called "The Learning Channel" that features intergalactic aliens playing laser polo on dinosaurs inside volcanoes, but I don't want government shutting it down
If there are people who'd rather believe Wacky Uncle Chuck's FB post about Raytheon secretly liquifying vaccine casualties into Chicken McNuggets than press conference podiums full of scientists in white lab coats, maybe the problem here isn't Wacky Uncle Chuck
Read 16 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
15 Jul
Nuke Kit Kat, a lame chocolate covered wafer is a sorry excuse for a candy bar
in fact you can nuke all of them except Snickers, Baby Ruth, and peanut M&Ms as far as I'm concerned
As I have previously discovered, you just touched the 3rd rail of candy takes. But I agree completely: Reese's are the most overrated candy on the planet
Read 4 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
15 Jul
With insights like these, I can't understand how The Atlantic loses $10 million per year
Ironically, The Atlantic once had crossword puzzles made by Emily Cox & Henry Rathvon. Not some basic ass middlebrow NYT Sunday crossword, I mean double cryptic clues with words laced together in dodecahedrons and shit.

Now they should just have kid's menu word find
crosswords, birdwatching, gardening, knitting - it's amazing how many of these problematic pastimes are dominated by elderly Unitarian NPR hippies
Read 5 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
15 Jul
not good enough, you need to visit your local ICU and personally apologize to each and every survivor of your violent mailing, as soon as they regain consciousness
shut your eyes Marion, don't look at the mailing no matter what happens
Read 4 tweets

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