Share this page!

David Burge Profile picture
Twitter logo
15 Jul, 4 tweets, 1 min read
Nuke Kit Kat, a lame chocolate covered wafer is a sorry excuse for a candy bar
in fact you can nuke all of them except Snickers, Baby Ruth, and peanut M&Ms as far as I'm concerned
As I have previously discovered, you just touched the 3rd rail of candy takes. But I agree completely: Reese's are the most overrated candy on the planet
It's not my fault you were hypnotized into thinking Reese's was an acceptable candy by product placement in a stupid maudlin 1980s alien movie

• • •

Missing some Tweet in this thread? You can try to force a refresh
　

Keep Current with David Burge

David Burge Profile picture

Stay in touch and get notified when new unrolls are available from this author!

Read all threads

This Thread may be Removed Anytime!

PDF

Twitter may remove this content at anytime! Save it as PDF for later use!

Try unrolling a thread yourself!

how to unroll video
  1. Follow @ThreadReaderApp to mention us!

  2. From a Twitter thread mention us with a keyword "unroll"
@threadreaderapp unroll

Practice here first or read more on our help page!

More from @iowahawkblog

David Burge Profile picture
16 Jul
If the government wants to target people spreading COVID misinformation on the internet, they might as well shut down the whole thing at the breaker box
yes, there are Facebook anti-vaxxers and COVID conspiracy kooks. There is also a cable network called "The Learning Channel" that features intergalactic aliens playing laser polo on dinosaurs inside volcanoes, but I don't want government shutting it down
If there are people who'd rather believe Wacky Uncle Chuck's FB post about Raytheon secretly liquifying vaccine casualties into Chicken McNuggets than press conference podiums full of scientists in white lab coats, maybe the problem here isn't Wacky Uncle Chuck
Read 16 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
15 Jul
With insights like these, I can't understand how The Atlantic loses $10 million per year
Ironically, The Atlantic once had crossword puzzles made by Emily Cox & Henry Rathvon. Not some basic ass middlebrow NYT Sunday crossword, I mean double cryptic clues with words laced together in dodecahedrons and shit.

Now they should just have kid's menu word find
crosswords, birdwatching, gardening, knitting - it's amazing how many of these problematic pastimes are dominated by elderly Unitarian NPR hippies
Read 5 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
15 Jul
not good enough, you need to visit your local ICU and personally apologize to each and every survivor of your violent mailing, as soon as they regain consciousness
shut your eyes Marion, don't look at the mailing no matter what happens
Read 4 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
14 Jul
Instead of making that 56 Studebaker into a raft, make it into an airplane and apply for proper FAA clearance
kinda thinking if somebody rows a bunch of roped-together patched inner tubes 100 miles through swarming sharks, they have a fairly legit claim for asylum
not sure what the point of all the weaselly mushmouth diplomatic nuance is. Made some sense when Cuba had a sugar daddy with 10,000 nuclear warheads aimed at the USA, now it's just fucking weird
Read 4 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
14 Jul
What if somebody ate their hate chicken somewhere else, and stopped at the rest stop to take a dump afterwards? I'm worried that taxpayers may be subsidizing the flushing of hate poop
reason.com/2021/07/14/new…
In This Stall We Believe Love Is Love
I think we need the Supreme Court weigh in on whether it's OK to ban the baking of Critical Race Theory cakes at taxpayer-subsidized sports stadium Chick Fil-As
Read 4 tweets
David Burge Profile picture
13 Jul
I'm no Henry Luce, but I think I could operate a magazine full of B+ Oberlin term papers for less than $50 million per year
Give me $20 million, a case of Four Roses, a carton of Luckys, and I'll have your high tone egghead magazine back in the black in no time
Not only will I turn a profit, I will also solve troubling educational disparities
Read 5 tweets

Did Thread Reader help you today?

Support us! We are indie developers!

This site is made by just two indie developers on a laptop doing marketing, support and development! Read more about the story.

Become a Premium Member ($3/month or $30/year) and get exclusive features!

Become Premium

Too expensive? Make a small donation by buying us coffee ($5) or help with server cost ($10)

Donate via Paypal Become our Patreon

Thank you for your support!

Follow Us on Twitter!

Like this author's thread?

Get emails when @iowahawkblog has new unrolls!

Check out other threads from @iowahawkblog!

Read all threads by @iowahawkblog

:(