1/ Thread...

How a culture of flattery is crippling people, especially single women.

Flattery is false praise.

Flatterers offers praise, not because it’s deserved or rooted in reality, but because they believe it will gain them some personal advantage.

Why is this crippling?
2/ Flattery perverts a person’s self-assessment.

A flatterer doesn’t only over-praise and over-state a person’s virtues. They also recast a person’s vices as virtues.

In doing so, the flatterer inflates the person’s self-opinion and clouds their vision.
3/ An accurate self-assessment is essential to success in this life.

Not only is it the basis of humility but, practically speaking, it allows you to push hard towards your limits without exceeding them.

Icarus could fly until he got too close to the sun.
4/ We live in a culture of flattery:

-The tone-deaf are told they’ve got a beautiful voice
-The obese are told they’ve go an impressive physique
-The mentally unstable are told they are brave and stunning
- The fool is told that they are wise beyond their years

And on and on…
5/ Flattery courses through the veins of every facet of our culture.

The education system, corporate America, church pulpits, etc…

It’s everywhere but especially on online social networks.

It’s true that there is also a lot of hate but remember flattery is a form of hatred.
6/“Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful.” Pr 27:6

People who love are appropriately critical. Sometimes those criticism sting. But they help you.

People who deceive (shield you from the truth) are using you. They don’t love you.
7/ Now, let’s circle back around to how this is crippling single women in particular.

Let’s use the ex of Tomi Lahren’s “all men are trash” rant: tinyurl.com/y2wtmnzz

She claims all her single female friends (24-36) are “attractive” & “successful” but can’t find a good man.
8/ Lahren, of course, blames men. She says she is a “woman of value.”

She seems incapable of contemplating the possibility that she and her friends over-value themselves.

How could they? So many men praise them for their beauty, success, etc.

But here’s the thing…
9/ …a lot of that praise comes from men who are just flatterers. These men are what some call simps or nice guys.

They are men who flatter for female attention and validation (and maybe some sexual attention).

Women despise these guys.

See: reddit.com/r/niceguys/
10/ While women despise these sort of men, the inordinate amount of praise lavished on them by “simps” does have an effect: it gives women an exaggerated sense of desirability.

This in turns makes them see themselves as above men who are of a similar or even higher status.
11/ About 15 years ago, I began to notice this in the church over and over again.

I’d see very average women repeatedly pass on above average guys and then complain how there are no good men… but they’d replace good with “godly.”

I wondered "What is going on with these women?"
12/ It's become clear that the "culture of flattery" (in & outside the church) has inflated single women's vanity and is leading them to hold out for a man truly worthy of their value.

When they start to realize that they've been had by the culture, their "simp" pastors say...
13/ ... "No. You're not the problem. Reject the idolatry of marriage and family. Singleness is a gift and the church is your family."
This, of course, is a lie that the pastor tells to:
-Get praise from women
-Avoid the emotional whirlwind from them realizing they were deceived
14/ These men are flatterers. They don’t love single women. They use them.

1 Tim 5:14 is in the context of widows but certainly applies to younger single women as well.

Flatterers are gutless and many pastors are flatterers...
15/ ...therefore, churches will be more and more overwhelm with older single women.

Plutarch was wise:

"The surest prophylactic against the evils of the flatterer is a just opinion of oneself that will reject, as untruthful, the flatterer's insinuations.”
16/ Truth is pride killer and humility gives life.

Man God raise up a generation of truth tellers

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More from @thisisfoster

16 Jul
Yes, I spoke at a secular conference with a lot speakers that talked about things I reject and, in some cases, even despise.

But they didn’t censor me in anyway.

I just preach the truth Scripture and emphasized the exclusively of the gospel of Jesus of Christ.
Also, I didn’t do it for money.

My travel costs were covered. That’s it.

I did it for an opportunity to reach a lot of non-Christian men with a glorious truth of God’s Word.

And I have zero regrets.

I’m doing it again this fall.
The woman who tweeted pic is just Christian paparazzi.

They love to stirrup outrage and they have zero commitment to ethics and will misrepresent people if it fits their agenda.

Worse yet they try to camouflage their behavior under the guise of confessional Christianity.
Read 5 tweets
14 Jul
Most (not all) modern forms of courtship fail to produces strong marriages because:

1) Many fathers are more interested in using the “courtship” as an opportunity to posture their toughness as a man than building a low-key relationship with potential suitors...
...Thus, the only guys that are generally willing to stick around and put up with the shenanigans are weak needy guys with few options. All the high quality guys have plenty of options. So they don’t have to put up “little men.”
2) It throws off the power equilibrium where the woman has all the "power" directly or by proxy through her father. For the young man to explore the relationship, he has to make an exclusive commitment to courting her....
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13 Jul
The courtship model is exceedingly difficult when:

1) many families are broken
2) fathers are absent (in reality or functionally)
3) parents have ungodly goals for their children
4) delayed maturation has greatly decreased the availability of good spousal candidates
This fourth issue makes young marriage difficult.

You either have to choose from the available candidates or delay getting married until you can find a more suitable candidate.

Hence, even those pursuing a young marriage can find themselves marrying much later than expected.
Consequently, both men and women, including those that are pro-marrying as soon as possible, entering relationships for the purpose of marriage are rarely teens.

They have cars, careers/jobs, and even their own apartments/houses.

These are 20+ year olds with ton of freedom.
Read 6 tweets
12 Jul
1/ Today marks...

18 years of marriage

18 years of dreaming next to the one I love, my dear wife Emily

18 years of ups and downs...together

So here are 18 short reflections on things I’ve learned along the way...

1 Marry for demonstrated potential which is to say catch them on their way up

2 Marry as young as reasonable so that you develop your tastes and habits as a couple

3 Children are infinitely better than pets... so don’t delay having them

4 Have frank discussions about sexual expectations with your spouse and have as much sex as you both can

5 When arguing, stop and say, “Hey, I love you. We are on the same side. Let’s work this out together.”
Read 8 tweets
6 Jul
1/ Motherhood has a due date.

It, as a possibility, evaporates when that date is reached.
The clock runs down as each cycle passes.

...until one of the chief biological purposes of female physiology will never be realized.

The world says that this is no biggie.
No regrets...
2/ but... this is a lie and an obvious one.

Everything in a woman’s nature pushes her towards this end.

To repress it requires intense social conditioning.

This happens around two key lies...
3/ Lie 1 - Motherhood isn’t normative.

Lie 2 - Even if it is, you can delay its pursuit without repercussion.

These two lies are the waters in which women are stewed from their earliest years.

They are pushed towards careers.
Read 14 tweets
6 Jul
1/ Rebels don't hate authority.
They love it.

They just hate having limits placed on their authority.

God delegates His authority to be used according to His commands.

Yes, a father, pastor & magistrate have authority BUT that authority has limits & a proper administration.
2/ An authority who exceeds the limits of his power or fails to exercise his powers in a lawful way is a rebel.

One tell of a rebel is a constant call for submission.

Another tell of a rebel is anger when you ask for them to explain the grounds for their call to submit.
3/ A rebel roots their authority in their person. They'll cloak this by saying it's rooted in their office. But…
Read 5 tweets

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