Thread by @TaisonBell

I’ve debated all day whether to post this, but the world deserves to know that 9 years ago to this day my first child, Julian, was stillborn. While @k_scottbell and I knew him through his kicks and tumbles, he was born at full term and never took a breath. We don’t know why.
🧵

There are no words to describe losing a child, so I won’t try. The emotional shock and depression was profound and it’s hard to even access that emotional space this far out. But it taught me how to set my priorities, and I’m a better parent, husband, and physician because of it.

I’m forever grateful for the staff at @MtAuburnHosp, where Julian was born. They advised us to create an identity for him. We swaddled him, kissed him and took pictures. We held him in our arms until the warmth passed on from his mother began to fade. These are precious memories.

Because of this my living children have toys and books of his that they are “borrowing.” They say his name in their prayers every night. On his birthday we sing and eat cupcakes. They tell their friends and teachers about him. He has always been very much alive in our household.

So when I speak about my concern for unvaccinated children or child mortality in general, I’m coming from a space of knowing what it’s like to say goodbye to a child who died of something that “doesn’t really happen.” You can’t stop blaming yourself. You feel like a failure.

I don’t want other parents to know this feeling. We need to work as hard as we can to make sure kids live long and healthy lives. Too many children suffer because of our actions and inactions at the policy level. Our children deserve better. This needs to end.

Julian was named after the civil rights icon Julian Bond. In honor of their legacies, my hope is to ignite your energy towards protecting children both here and abroad from illness, violence, and poverty—especially those in disadvantaged communities. We need action now. 🙏🏾❤️👶🏾 🌈