Thread by @ElonBachman

I am going to brag a little:

Last summer our local PD had dune buggies that I could *just* outrun at a moderate sprint. Every day they'd chase me down the beach, every day I'd elude them

Red faced, they sprung for a fleet of giant fast expensive ATVs, and I had to stop running

https://twitter.com/karol/status/1418577784864116737

For a brief time, they were operating both fleets in tandem:

And I didn't stop running entirely, I just started running laps in my condo's parking lot

Then the board told me I had to stop b/c it was a health hazard (!)

So I kicked up some fuss, and it was eventually agreed I could keep running laps, so long as I wore a shirt (!)

And our building admin, who is vicious little shrew, doesn't speak great English

So when the compromise was handed down, she was tasked with explaining to me, in very serious tones, that I could keep running as long as I didn't show "nipple"

It's all very picaresque in retrospect, so I'll keep going. Our local caziques jammed through an entirely venal emergency order that favored all kinds of their political interests while ostensibly being about requiring masks

I read the damn thing in *detail* and discovered...

...that by a flaw of draftmanship, the clauses didn't actually fit together in a way that required masks

So for a brilliant week, I was pulling out the *actual* text and utterly befuddling the orc-like cops who would stop to harass me

Well, this obviously went up the chain...

...because the next week, the cops were back with big stupid smiles on their faces. They had printed and laminated these placards that explained that the local PD was interpreting the law now, and that they had interpreted it to mean MASKS

Thus ended that little chapter.