Thread by @gradydoctor

1/
#AmazingGrady

Afternoon rounds with a Grady elder:

Me: "So. . .Ms. Hodge. . .uh. . . what exactly were you doing when this happened?"
Her: *smirks and does a body wave in her bed* "Getting it ON, baby."
Me: *chuckles and shakes head*
Her: "Oh, I'm serious."

*name changed

2/
Her: "People thing jest 'cause you up in age you ain't got no desires. But that ain't true, see."
Me: *nodding* "I hear you, Ms. Hodge."
Her: "You better hear me! 'Cause I be GETTING mine--even in my 80's."

She snapped her fingers and did another body wave.

*laughter*

3/
Her: "How old are you, Miss Manning?"
Me: "I turned 50 last September."
Her: "You got a lover?" *squints eyes*
Me: "Uhh. . .I guess my husband. . is uh. . my lover."
Her: *curls lips* "Well. I hope y'all be taking care of each other." *does body wave again*

*laughter*

4/
Her: *nodding* "Sugar, I'm dead serious. You got to keep that flame going for it try to run out! *snaps finger* "Ooohh! But I bet you can get your hands on some viagras pretty quick, can't you?"
Me: "Wait. Did you just say 'viagras?'"
Her: *body waves again*

*laughter*

5/
Her: "For real--even when you get older and your body start getting all mushy and more wrinkly, you got to FEEL like you still got it going on. I be standing in the mirror dripping wet from the tub and I tell myself,

'Gotdammit, you SEXY!'"

I laughed.
She did not.

6/
*silence*

Her: *very serious* "You can't let your body changing on you make you feel like you another person. That's why my old man still find me sexy. 'Cause I found my OWN SELF sexy first." *taps temple* "It start in your own mind first. That's where your sexy live."

Wow.

7/
Me: "Damn. I think I really needed to hear that today, Ms. Hodge."
Her: *body wave again*

*laughter*

Her: "I remember when my body started changing. And when the world started seeing me like a old person. That was hard."
Me: *listening*
Her: "I started believing it, too."

8/
Her: "But I realized everything start and end with how I see me."
Me: *listening*
Her: "I know people thank it's amusing for me to be having sexual relations. But like, for me, it just feel like . . . a normal part of being alive. Do that make sense?"
Me: "Yes, ma'am."

9/
I felt a bit embarrassed for my ageist chuckles. I stammered through an apology.

Her: "It's okay, baby. If you live long enough, you gon' get old yourself and know jest what I'm talking 'bout."
Me: *listening*
Her: "Jest don't forget where you sexy is, here?" *taps temple*

10/
After that, she did one more body wave in her hospital bed. And both of us threw back our heads and just laughed and laughed.

And it was cool because it was a shared and knowing laughter.

Yup.

11/
I tried to zip up a dress the other day. A favorite dress that I've had for years. It pulled across the thigh area--making it undeniable where I'd gained weight. I took a few steps around my room and the dress began to ride up. I took it right off after that.

Sigh.

12/
My body has changed a lot over the last few years. And at 50, I've noticed that it's a little softer in some spots.

I even noticed two grey eyebrow hairs and am certain that in the next five years, my entire head will be silver.

It doesn't always feel sexy.

But.

13/
Ms. Hodge was right. If you never lose it in your own mind? There will never be a need to bring sexy back.

Nope.

Sure. I can cut a few carbs and run a few extra miles. But mostly I need to remember where my sexy lives.

*taps temple*

'Nuff said. 😎

#humanismalways